10.15.2022

Walk in freedom

 

Every table isn’t gonna have a spot for you. Every invitation isn’t gonna have your name on it, and every call isn’t gonna be for you. 

Every text isn’t gonna have your number, and every seat isn’t gonna be saved for you, and thank goodness. 

It might’ve hurt when I was younger, but the older I’ve gotten, the more I appreciate the fact that I wasn’t made for everyone, and everyone isn’t gonna get me, or like me, or want me. I’m not so boring that I can fit into every mold, and I’m not so generic that I can suit everyone’s taste. 

I appreciate that I don’t have to force myself, or squeeze myself into places that weren’t made for me, and I don’t have to tip-toe into every relationship. I don’t have to chase people, or beg them to want me. 

I can live in FREEDOM (yes, sister) and I can be myself, and I can let the cards fall where they may. I can love people and treat them well, and I can figure out who is choosing me and choose them right back. 

I don’t have to sit through forced conversations, and I don’t have to pretend, and I can’t tell how how much that makes me wanna stand up and shout “YES HALLELUJAH AND AMEN.” 

I don’t have to stay in a place where rumors are being spread, and people are being talked about, and gossip is the only thing on the menu. I don’t have to act like it’s okay just so I’m not ostracized. I don’t have to sit through a girls night where no one can talk about anything else but their diets and their workouts and what they look like. 

I can make decisions, and I can make sure I’m in places that lift me up and make me laugh and make me better. I can have boundaries for crying out loud. 

I don’t have to stress about being too much, or not enough, or being to loud, or too quiet, or wearing the right clothes. I don’t have to worry about having enough money, or saying all the right things, or wondering if people will think I’m bragging if I share my celebrations with them. 

Being popular isn’t all it’s hyped up to be, and be included in everything all the time isn’t even a reasonable expectation. 

It’s not about having enough perfectly posed-pictures to post, or having enough stories to make other people go “wow, she’s so cool. Look at all the places she gets invited to.” 


It’s about knowing who you are and knowing the right people (even if it’s only one) always save you a seat, even if you show up looking a hot mess. They don’t care. They’re just glad you’re there, and maybe you have such a good time that you forget to take pictures all together. 


It’s not about how it looks from the outside. It’s about having a circle that is healthy from the inside.

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