Confessional Friday

Linking up with Leslie for Confessional Friday 

~Is it just me or was this a long but quick week all at the same it was long... but it is finally friday 

~Another snow storm this week, it is a winter wonderland out here but March is coming which means Spring is coming 
~ Worst mom of the year award right here... Brooke had a concert last night and we showed up 15 mins late because neither of read the email until we were on our way there and then we are late, I felt so bad.. but we took her to Subway to make up for it, LOL 

~I'm in the mood to do some spring shopping- but not sure if I will; I have a ton of clothes and shoes for spring, and summer 

~ Brooke is at a sleep over tonight so we are going on a date, we were going to double date with friends but they couldn't make it so we are just going as the two of us


Wife Talk- The 4 Secrets to Having a Spectacular Marriage

The 4 Secrets to Having a Spectacular Marriage

 What do couples who describe their marriages as spectacular do differently than those who describe their marriages as simply so-so? The differences are quite small, actually. "When we look at happy couples, we see that great marriages are not the result of hours of hard work," says relationship researcher Terri L. Orbuch, Ph.D., who followed 373 couples for over 22 years as part of a marriage study funded by the National Institutes of Health. "It's small changes in behavior and attitude that can transform your relationship." In her new book, 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great, Orbuch shares the steps you can take to marital greatness.
  • Understand Each Other's Needs
 "The main reason marriages break up is not conflict, communication problems, or sexual incompatibility," Orbuch says. "It's frustration — the day-to-day disappointment of the gap between what you expect and how your partner acts — that is most damaging." To diffuse that frustration, share your expectations with each other. Maybe you desire more affection and he craves more relaxed couple time. "And be sure to check in with your partner once a year, as added pressures or life changes can create new expectations," Orbuch says.
  • Show Him Some Love
 Husbands whose wives give them affirmation — those words and gestures that show they are appreciated, respected, and loved — are twice as likely to describe themselves as happily married. And men may need affirmation more than women, Orbuch's research showed. "Women are constantly receiving flattery from friends and even strangers who say, 'Love your outfit!'" she says. "But men don't get that recognition." Can you imagine a passerby stopping your husband to compliment him on how well his tie matches his shirt? Not gonna happen — which is why men rely on that attention from their wives. Luckily, there's another payoff to your flattery: He's more likely to return those loving deeds back to you
  • Take 10
  A weekly date night is always recommended as a way to reconnect, but sometimes all you need is a few minutes. "I call this the 10-Minute Rule: Take 10 minutes a day to talk about anything — except for kids, responsibilities, or chores," Orbuch says. Throw out Mom's old advice about how an air of mystery keeps the flame alive: Orbuch's research showed that 98 percent of happy couples say they intimately understand their partners. And knowing your spouse intimately isn't always about engaging in heavy conversations: Anything that helps you learn something new will bring you closer, Orbuch says. You can bond over why you think your dog is the smartest one on your block or which superpower you'd want most. You'll get to know each other's inner world and strengthen your bond of happiness.
  • Focus on the Good
The best way to make your relationship better is to work at fixing what's wrong, right? Nope. "The most effective way to boost fun and passion is to add positive elements to your marriage," Orbuch says. "That positive energy makes us feel good and motivates us to keep going in that direction." This doesn't mean that you can't feel — or talk about — anything negative, but "pretend you are weighing your interactions on a scale," she says. "If you want a happier relationship, the positive side needs to far outweigh the bad." The more you honor the love and joy in your bond, the sooner you'll transform your marriage into one that is truly great.


Marriage and Babies

As they say: 

First comes Love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in the carriage

But then what....

Everyone wants babies but not everyone realizes how hard babies are on their marriage if they don't make time for each other daily...

Here are some tips

Stay Connected 

Spending quality time with your partner before the baby arrives can put you on the right track.
Talk to Each Other

Parenthood is a major adjustment for both partners.

"The woman has to deal with all the physiological changes. The man has to adjust to feeling a loss of companionship. He now has to share the woman who has been by his side. ... His emotional and practical needs come in second or third, so he gets demoted."
Sex After Baby

How soon couples resume having sex depends on the mother's physical and emotional readiness. In the early months, men usually have their normal sex drive, but women may not, especially if they're breastfeeding.

the biggest threat to new parents' sex lives is usually exhaustion. "You'd rather go to sleep than have sex. So it's a combination of fatigue and changes in hormone levels."

Weekend Getaway

Even better than an evening off is a whole weekend to reconnect. Try to plan a getaway before your baby is old enough to experience separation anxiety, which usually develops around 8 months to 1 year. Even now, our baby is 11, we take nights away ever December ( for sure), we get nights thru out the year, as well. 

If you're breastfeeding, you can still manage a short trip -- just freeze a stash of breast milk to leave with your baby's caregiver and bring along a pump to prevent engorgement.

It is so important to spend time together every day, wait til the kids go to bed and eat dinner together, You will be able to be less stressed when that new precious baby comes in your lives. 


Weekend Recap

I didn’t work much, I started having pain and went to the ER, I was there for a couple hours waiting to see a dr, then finally I got called back and Dr Luke’s came in, this was the worst man with a Dr in his title- he had no bed side manner, he was very rude to me over the fact that I needed his “assistance” for my pain, he told me to go home, take a tylenol and get a grip… it took me of guard and I was in pain and I really didn’t know what to say or do. 
Hubby took me on a date when I started feeling better, Brooke went to her first ever Youth Event, I am proud of my girl… but so hard to believe she is growing up. 
I was up til 4 am because I could not sleep, I had no pain but was wide awake, it gets frustrating .. 

I was awake by 9 am, I did try to sleep again. Made brunch for my family: eggs, toast, hash browns, bacon, french toast… then I laid down and had a 4 hour nap
We went in town later for some fresh veggies and fruit, Brooke also wanted to stop and get some Brown boots and she also decided she wanted black ones.. when did my child become a teenager… she bought her first pair with a little heel on them. 
We had some snack foods and watched hockey, I fell asleep really quick, I was wiped out 

Woke to a few cms of snow over night, the roads were not nice at all, but we made it safely to church, when we came home they were bare or almost bare… I am not a fan of highway travelling in the snow. 
After Sunday Night service, we went to Boston Pizza was our friends, it was nice. 

I am travelling all week again, so thankful for scheduled post :)


Confessional Friday

Linking up with Leslie for another week to confess

1) I am all done with Grey's Anatomy and now I'm onto Parenthood, such a different type of show but none the less, it is pretty good. 

2) I am totally in Love with my new blog design, Chelsea did such a great job with it.  Thanks again girl 

3) Been in training all week , I am ready to be done and be back working a normal schedule. 



Wife Talk -10 MARRIAGE KILLERS ...

Before we get started on our Wife talk for this week, I wanted to give a big THANK YOU to Chelsea for my new look, she has done an amazing job, did exactly what I wanted. 
Thank you so much!!!


To uplift women and encourage them to keep going in their marriage and to love their spouse unconditionally 


Sometimes it's the subtle and sneaky things that creep into our marriages that destroy the relationship. Little things so gradual that we don't really notice them before they've become HUGE problems. Be on guard of subtle things like these...

1. WHEN YOU LET LIFE STARTS TAKING PRIORITY OVER YOUR MARRIAGE. Things like paying bills, work, children all start taking priority over marriage relationship. These aren't bad things, but they become bad when y...ou make them more important than your marriage.

2. WHEN YOU START TAKING YOUR SPOUSE FOR GRANTED. You get comfortable and quit trying in marriage.

3. WHEN YOU MARRY YOUR WORK. Yes, you can spend too much time at the office. At the end of your life you will not look back and say, "I wish I would have spent more time at work."

4. WHEN YOU BLAME. Everyone is at fault for your marriage struggles … your spouse, your in-laws, your parents … everyone but you.

5. WHEN YOU LET YOUR SOULMATE BECOMES YOUR ROOMMATE. God never created marriage, so we could have a roommate but a soulmate. Marriage is about intimacy, oneness and togetherness … not just cohabitation with someone of the opposite sex.

6. WHEN YOU STOP PUTTING YOUR SPOUSE AND THEIR NEEDS FIRST. You quit working to meet their needs and do the things you once did.

7. WHEN YOU AVOID SEX. Stop with the excuses! We know it can be hard sometimes to find the time or energy ... especially if you have kids. On the other hand, if your spouse is not having their physical needs met at home – then you are throwing the door wide-open for them to go and get those needs met somewhere else.

8. WHEN YOU GET RESENTFUL AND HOLD GRUDGES. Resentfulness and grudges are like cancer … they will slowly kill your marriage.


10. WHEN YOU STOP COMMUNICATING. You think, "Why even try, things won't get better."

These are just a few of the things that turns a healthy marriage with your soulmate into a duty filled unhappy marriage with a roommate. Remember, a strong healthy marriage takes work. NEVER give up. Keep fighting for your marriage.

Taken and used with permission from Trey and Lea's Stronger Marriage


Favourite social Media peeps


I wanted to share 5 of my favourite bloggers/Instagramers and twitter peeps - this may become a bi weekly or a monthly thing, not sure yet, let's see how it goes

5 Favourite Bloggers-
1) Leslie @ A Blonde Ambition
2) Stephanie @ The Vintage Modern Wife 
3) Tami @ Tami Marie 
4) Kelly @ Kelly's Korner 
5) Rhonda @ Everlee Rose

5 Favourite Instagrammers

1) Lisa Harper @ http://instagram.com/lisadharper
2) Rachel @ http://instagram.com/racheldawngates
3) Pam @ http://instagram.com/datingmyspouse
4) Melissa @ http://instagram.com/dreamsandcolour
5) Candace @ http://instagram.com/candacecrabtree

5 Favourite Tweeters

1) Rhonda- https://twitter.com/rhondamcmeekin
2) Jaime- https://twitter.com/jaimesey
3) Donny- https://twitter.com/donnydooley
4) My hubby- https://twitter.com/agrothe
5) Janet- https://twitter.com/J_Ko__

Check them out, follow them if you wish


Weekend Recap

Worked til 6 pm as per usual, my day was filled with meetings because the dealership I was working on is no longer with us, so now I am a floater which is what I wanted to be since I started, my schedule will ask be changing a little bit perhaps.
Went in town at 6 to get groceries, make a exchange and have supper.
Andrew also got me my Valentine present- pictures to come further down this post ;)
I did some laundry and ended of my evening with Grey's

Saturday: Happy LOVE day... we are not those people who just has to celebrate Valentine's day, we show each other Love every day of the year, but we did do presents this year and it was fun, we also went out for a dinner date
Here are the pictures of my presents..
Coconut Cream Cupcakes, Navy MK purse, Bamboo plant in the shape of a heart ( awww), chocolates and a beautiful card and dinner at Montana's.

He got: card, a book, chocolates, coffee, lunch
It was a great Valentines day spent with the one I adore. 

Woke up to a crazy winter storm- we have so  much snow here, today we are getting 50 cms, there was no church today, the entire city is pretty much closed down, I have no pictures to share because it is to dark now, these are a couple I found from friends on Fb 
This is out someone's back door 
This is 4 miles from my house- the highway was super nasty too 

Tomorrow is a holiday for me, not sure if I am going to sleep all day or if I'm even gonna be able to go anywhere with all the snow that is around 


Happy Valentine's Day

Dear Andrew, 

Happy 15th Valentine's Day. 
Very few people meet and marry their soulmate. We were among the fortunate people who experienced that deep love, an amazing understanding of each other, that incredible respect and passion. We had a love that people only dream of having. This didn’t happen by accident. We continually worked on our marriage. Our love got deeper and deeper through the years and we weathered several difficult times in our marriage and came out stronger and more committed to each other.

You make me happy. I am always happy that you can make me laugh even after our worst fights and I am always grateful that you apologize when you know you have hurt my feelings. I always appreciate the tiny details you pay attention to and mull over with a fine tooth comb, because these are the things that help to give us the life we have. I am always aware that you help me out even when you don’t feel like it and that means so much to me because I know you’re doing it out of love. I know you will never be artsy but I am always thankful that you are able to use your hands to fix the things that break around the house and use your strength to move the heaviest of furniture. I am always thankful that we have a friendship that is based not on how similar we are but how we can see each other’s differences and find love in each other’s flaws.

Sometimes it gets hard but I know that our love defies all odds and I am always, always so lucky to have you in my life. I am lucky to have in you a best friend, a lover, a confidante, and a man who always puts me first. Not a day goes by that I am not grateful for how life brought us together and keeps us together on our darkest days. The love you have shown me encompasses my world like sun rays bathing the earth and even though dark clouds may come, I am grateful you have taught me that they will always pass. Thank you for being my sun, my moon, and my world.
I love you my soul mate, my rock and biggest fan 


Our Love Story

Our love story begins when i was 13 and he was 14
Yes i knew that young…

My cousin invited me to go to a youth camp with her
i have seldom been away from my parents and this was several hours away
But they reluctantly let me go…

The first night of camp, i sat across from this cute guy and i asked him to "please pass the water", he did and smiled… 
Wow, in the instant i fell in love with him, YES at 13..
I told my cousin that i was marrying him and they laughed at me.. but I knew in my heart he was the one.

I went home and didn't speak more to him until Sept when i went to the mail box and there was a letter address to Terri Lynn White- so not my last name but i assumed they were looking for me…:p
This was a hand written letter from him, the first few years letters weren't anything more then pen pals and that was ok to he got my name straight as well, still tease him about that. 

3 year later he called me on the telephone( most of our relationship was long distance) , i was shocked and had no idea what to say.. besides the fact that everyone was home and i was on the only phone in the house.. i was mortified and scared, embarrassed
and there was a lot of silence, i thought for sure i wouldn't hear from him again. A few weeks later he called again, this time there wasn't as much silence, but still some.. hey, i was getting better. ( now he tells me he wants that silence back, haha)

several months before his high school graduation he asked me to be his girlfriend, the way he said it was so sweet though..  he said… Spring, when a young man's fancy, turns to love, Terri, will you be my girlfriend? I cried so hard, it was the sweetest thing ever heard. 

He invited me to go to his high school graduation, while at his high school graduation we went for a walk on some trail ( just the two of us, we seldom got alone- which is a good thing really) while on that trail he turned to me and said " do you know what i would like to do right now, i said i have no idea, he said come closer, i will show you, We then shared our first kiss…. he is so romantic. 

The next year i graduated high school and asked him to be my date (off course), we had a great time, the more i was with him, the more i loved him. 

I moved to where he lived for school, and while there i became so homesick that i came back home and went to school closer to my parents, a few days before i left he gave me flowers for my birthday, i remember the night before i left, he looked at me and i thought i had lost him forever, but thankfully i was wrong. 
It took me some time to get over what ever i was dealing with, and i went a while with no contact with him because had to make sure this was what i needed and wanted. I missed him so much during that time. 
I was very very thankful to have this amazing man in my life. 

When he graduated university, he came to visit me for 2 weeks, we had sun a great time, it was also during that time that my dad got him a full time job with the local ambulance serve ( not what he went to university for), he took the job to be close to me, 
January 2002 whir walking in a snow storm, he proposed to me, it was the most romantic thing ever, i cried again and couldn't believe it was actually true, i kept saying is this for real..

We got married May 4th ( next month will be 11 years)- we had a big wedding, and it was the best day of my life.

I love him more now then that first day i saw him, i fall more in love each moment I'm around him

We have one daughter and he is an awesome daddy to her. 

I am thankful to God that he brought me this man. 


How to keep your husband happy- Guest post

Today it is with the utmost pleasure to introduce my friend and fav author- Menopausal Mother


How To Keep A Husband Happy

    With Father's day just weeks away, I found myself wondering what to do for my husband on his special day. An early Oktoberfest in the backyard? A competitive spot next to Adam Richman on Man vs Food at an all-you-can-eat-ribs diner? Probably not a good idea since our toilet is temperamental.
     When I was finally able to grab my husband's attention from the NBA playoffs for a nanosecond, I asked him what it would take to make him happy on Father's Day----other than the obvious. I'm talking BEER, people! Get your minds out of the gutter.

     After out little chat during the five minute commercial break, I came to the conclusion that my husband's needs go far beyond a single day of recognition. He deserves to be happy all year 'round and to feel appreciated on a daily basis.

     Actions speak louder than words, so I've come up with a wish list of things I think wives should do that would make most husbands happy:

*  Let him eat all the burgers, pizza and chicken wings he wants. Just remind him you've already set up his doctor's appointment for a new heart stent.

*  Give him the badabing manual on "How To Help Your partner Reach The Big O in 2 Minutes Or Less When The Playoffs Are On."

*  Install a mini fridge full of beer next to his La-Z-Boy recliner. Add a portable catheter so he never has to get out of his chair.

*  Let him take a nap for an hour every day. Longer if he's hooked up to the catheter.

*  Convince him he needs a night out with his buddies Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble at the Water Buffalo Lodge. This is especially important if your husband is the Grand Poo Ba of the man cave.

*  Tell him not to strain and push so hard at the gym. Working toward a six pack just to be a trophy husband isn't worth popping out a hemorrhoid.

*  Let him sit on the couch, scratch his crotch and channel surf all weekend long.

*  Keep the sex life interesting, even if it requires a nightly Viagra cocktail and a wife dressed in an Oscar Mayer Wiener costume.

*  Surprise him with VIP tickets to his favorite sporting event that include seats in the sky lounge, unlimited steak, beer and an adult diaper changing station.

*  Give him an HD television the size of a movie theatre screen. The picture should be clear enough that he can tell whether or not the ball players have been circumcised.

*  Let him spend a weekend at a testosterone infused camp where men are men and sheep are nervous. Hopefully he won't have a b-a-a-a-a-d experience.

*  Buy him a large gift certificate to a hardware store. This allows him all the time necessary to roam the aisles for stupid trinkets. Don't be surprised if he comes home with a paint sprayer that doubles as a margarita dispenser or a yard hose with a special, suction extension attached for those lonely nights in the garden.

*  Tell him it's perfectly acceptable to show off his talent of burping the alphabet for your guests. Farting the alphabet, not so much.

     If none of these suggestions work to keep your husband happy, I have a Plan B. Send him off to a one room cabin in the woods for a year where he can grow a long beard and commune with the tree frogs.

     Just don't forget to pack the suction hose.

You can find her here 
You can also purchase her first book that is down right awesome, you will laugh til you cry and then some, right here


Guest Post- Heather

Today I introduce to you my friend Heather- she has a super cool Love Story to share with you today. 

This is the story on how I met my husband. At the time that I met my husband he was actually my boss. I know I know, scandalous right? Well I had just finished journalism school and I turned my resume into all the TV stations in Phoenix and the one in Flagstaff Arizona. I was hoping to get a call back, but none called me back. The next move was to apply to stations in other markets, but while I was waiting for my dream journalism job or at least a job to work up the ranks, I applied to be a flight attendant. I thought well, at least while I'm waiting for someone to hire me in my field of of study I can be a flight attendant and travel a little. I studied for all the tests to become a flight attendant, I was in the process of memorizing all the US airport codes and some international codes, learning all the airlines safety procedures and waiting for one of three interviews to be officially accepted and hired as a flight attendant. I would be making $20 bucks a hour and back in 2004 I was quite excited about that

No sooner did I get accepted into the program I got a call from channel 2 news. From Scott Jones, who would one day be my husband. I took the interview and when I found out what the pay would be as a production assistant at KNAZ, that I would be making $6.50 an hour. I nearly laughed in my soon to be boss's face. 

I had a decision to make. Do I continue on with flight attendant school and end up making $20 bucks an hour or do I use my degree that I spent four years trying to obtain and make $6.50 an hour.  As you can imagine it was hard to turn down triple the pay, but I knew the low salary at first might pay off down the road. 

Well the low salary never did pay off down the road, but I did meet my future husband and the father of my children, who at the time happened to be my boss. A couple years go by and our relationship develops and I soon have to start reporting to someone else after we reveal our relationship to the big boss. Like any workplace romance it was a bit scandalous, but fast forward 9 years later and we are very happily married with two crazy tornadoes we call our children.

Since the days at KNAZ, my husband works has an amazing IT job at the hospital where he's practically managing the department and he has room to grow there and after a short while being an office manager at Swire Coco-Cola, I became a stay at home/work at home mom. Its been great being about to be home with my kids and pursue blogging full time.&

I can tell you right now that when I made the decision to turn down $20 an hour for $6.50 an hour I did not picture my life the way it is now 11 years later. Am I disappointed in anyway? No not at all. I am doing what I had hoped I'd be able to do as a parent, be at home with my children during the five most influential years of my kids lives. Never thought that was really possible, but with how awesome my husband is, he made it possible.

So all I can say is that detours can lead you down roads you least expect and in my case, it lead me to the love of my life and I have no regrets! :)

Heather Jones


Guest Post- Marquis

Our next Guest Blogger is Marquis- (I love her name), I met her through Instagram and now her blog.  I love her love story, it reminds me of my own love story. Thank you so much for sharing with us. 
Without further adieu, here is her love story 
Kevin and I met in high school, so I guess technically, we are officially part of the <10% statistic. I was only a Sophomore and he was Senior, but we ended up in the same computer class {because the classes we previously signed up for were full}. We slowing began talking and one weekend we talked basically non-stop online. That Monday, I moved and sat next to Kevin in class {he was the shy type at first}. After a couple weeks of getting to know each other, and hanging out at soccer/basketball games, we went on our first date and became boyfriend-girlfriend that night {January 27, 2006}.

After 7 months of dating, Kevin moved to San Antonio to go to college and play baseball for UTSA. For the next two years, we had a long distance relationship {NO FUN}. But after two years of seeing each other for Christmas and Summer breaks and few times in between, we were REUNITED. When I graduated in 2008, I moved to San Antonio to go to college at UTSA.Pretty much at this point, we both new that actually living in the same city again would either make or break our relationship. And… we both had the time of our lives. College was the most amazing experience for us and we were extremely blessed. Kevin was a pitcher for UTSA Baseball and I was in the Honors College and loving every minute of school. We got engaged the summer before our Senior year of college and got married in July of 2011. 

God completely took us by surprise, neither of us was looking to fall in love, especially in high school, but we did. And no one was really expecting us to make it long distance for two years, but we did and it was so worth it.

Words cannot express how much I love him. We were absolutely made for each other. No one could love me like he does. All his strengths are my weaknesses and all my strengths are his weaknesses. He knows exactly how to make me smile and our house is filled with constant laughter and fun.

marquis clarke
blogger | designer
S I M P L Y   C L A R K E
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Guest Post- Amanda

The first of our Love story week writers is Amanda, I love this girl, I cannot even remember how I met her, it s like she has always been a part of my life, I love her like a sister and the way she writes, her and her husband have a gorgeous little guy Judah and a precious babe as an angel with Jesus. 


Hello and happy new year! I'm Amanda from Beloved Sweetbay and I am excited to be a guest today! When Terri asked me to write about marriage, my mind went a million different places. My husband and I will celebrate 10 years in June, and I've already got a lifetime of stories to tell! 

But today I want to share with you the wisdom of someone near and dear to me. My grandparents celebrated 56 years of marriage last year! That makes my almost 10 years sound so...short! 


These two are undeniably in L-O-V-E and it shows in everything they do. I could not ask for a better example of Christ's love on this earth than the love I see in these two. Not only to each other, but to everyone they come in contact with. I am so, so very blessed to have them in my life!

Below are the answers to some questions I asked my Grannie. I hope they bless you as they have blessed me and encourage you in your marriage- now or in the future!

"Not sure if these will help, but I just wrote from the heart, not from the book on marriage :) Enjoy!" -Grannie B.

1. How long have you been married?
56 years on March 9th, 2014

2. How do you put God at the center of your relationship every day?
We start with coffee moving into breakfast before which we offer praise for the night’s safety and rest; offer repentance for sins we recognize and those of which we are unaware; ask the Lord’s guidance for our family members as they move about and made decisions as well as face temptations; thanks for each provision, whether it be spiritual, physical, emotional or monetary; yield our minds and bodies to His leadership for the day.

3. What are some ways you communicate with your spouse?
Body language and facial expressions are important ways to communicate as are tone of voice. When we have decisions to be made, we try to give each other time and space to share their ideas and opinions.

4. How do you communicate love and appreciation to your spouse?
We drop by recliners for quick hugs; meet (not by accident) in hallways with smiles and silly high-fives/hugs :) We sometimes sit close together and just “breathe on one another” being sure to have used mouthwash, deodorant soap and underarm deodorant. We seldom pass too many hours without an "I LOVE YOU" being said!

5. How do you resolve conflicts or misunderstandings?
Unless immediate resolution is necessary, we sleep on it .. Not to let it fester, but to see if we have a different solution or perspective. Then HE is so sweet to say, “Honey, we need to talk.” Sometimes we have the same ideas, often not, but we acknowledge the value of each other’s ideas and concerns. Of course, we ask God’s help!

6. What helps you to love the other person when you are mad at them?
Remembering how sweet it was when we were in complete harmony, then realizing nothing is worth being angry past a point. We each try to find a time and way to say, "I still love you very much and can’t stay mad at you very long" :)

7. What do you see as strengths and weaknesses of your/in your marriage?
One of the main strengths of our marriage is respect. We search for times and ways to show respect and appreciation for one another. Frank tells me often how much he appreciates having clean laundry; good meals (and I’m not a great cook); times we do things together without being invited. Sometimes one of us is just having a grumpy day. We need some space or time alone. That’s allowed without question. If we have a weakness, it may be that we could live isolated from others (other than family…they are our joy and bring such excitement when we know they will be with us :) 

8. How has your marriage changed over the years?
When we were first married, I was a total legalist =/ I also saw only one way to do anything. Since he had not been in church during his early years, I felt I had to “guide his conscience.” Finally, after a year, he kindly told me: “I love you, but you are not my Holy Spirit.” It hurt at first, because I didn’t want to admit I had been so dogmatic and set in my ways L With prayer and self examination, I realized I needed to pray and wait for the Holy Spirit to convict/convince if indeed he needed to change. My ‘harping’ on a situation or habit would only drive a wedge. So now I try to hold my tongue and ask the Lord to do what needs to be done with him AND ME.

9. Anything you didn't figure out until, say, 7-10 years in that you would recommend to a couple that is starting out?
I heard recently on a family radio program that the first few years of marriage has a record of letting his/her family traditions cause problems, especially at holidays. I would recommend family traditions and usually accepted practices, be discussed early in (or even before) the marriage. I think by the time we had been married 10 years, we knew one another pretty well and had accepted one another’s moods, personalities and families. We had been married about 15 years before he sat me down and said, “We need to talk. When I ask your opinion, I mean it. Otherwise, when a good decision is made, it makes me look line a Lone Ranger hero. When it doesn’t turn out so good, I feel like I really messed up. I need your ideas, opinions and help with decisions. Seriously!” I had figured as “Whatever you want to do…” was a good thing. It isn’t…or wasn’t for us. He truly needs and wants my opinions and ideas. Makes us both feel we have a part in successes or failures. 

10. What things in your marriage make you happy? 

Just being together. He is my very best friend. We laugh a lot, hold hands while driving, sometimes start to say something and realize we are saying the same thing at the same time. We like the same types of movies and activities … clearing brush, cleaning house, etc. 

11. What do you think God is doing in your marriage right now?
Sadly to admit, I believe He is preparing us to be ready to let the other leave when it is time. Sometimes I can’t bear to think about life without him, then I laugh at myself and say, “Silly girl. He may have to live alone without you. Which would you choose?” I smile at myself and think of something that needs to be done.

12. What makes love last?
Friendship that would probably be there even if you weren’t married. I often tell him I am so happy I am married to him, because I’m afraid his wife would be jealous of how much I love and respect him. Silly thought, huh :) The ability to agree to disagree is vital in a close friendship and especially in a marriage. Of course, faithfulness and trust are without question an acid test for happiness in a marriage.

13. How do you make your marriage feel "alive" or "new" each day?
We wake up (sometimes during the early morning hours), feel to see if we are both really alive and think (usually actually say) it’s a new day. He calls me his Angel Girl and asks how I slept. I sometimes lie, but smile and he knows I just don’t want to discuss my body functions :) So he ruffles my already tussled hair, and warms my coffee. After that we sit together and discuss any plans we have, whether the other party is invited to participate or it’s a loner project; and try to get our “git up and go” going ;))) We ask the Lord’s guidance during our breakfast blessing (and of course at each meal).

14. How do you get along so well today?
Today? Well, if we weren’t still in love and didn’t enjoy all the things we share, I’m not sure if we would get along so well. However, there are few things we disagree on and if there are, we just avoid them at this point … he gives me space and I try to allow him time and space, too. If I sense he needs more together time, I try to provide it and wait until ‘tomorrow’ to do whatever it was I felt was important for immediate completion.

I realize I’ve painted a pretty cheerful picture, but our life has had few dark days. We have been so blessed … he has made me comfortable with myself. I was not {comfortable with myself} in my early teens and a little later. I had little confidence. I couldn’t believe people would like me or need anything I had to say. He has built my self respect up, possibly more than he should. I try to let extreme compliments slide off and know what I could have been had I married someone who didn’t respect me or care about my success as a Christian and as a woman. But, I still JUST LOVE THAT GUY!

Aren't they just precious? It is an absolute Joy to be around them and see their love for The Lord and one another! 

Thank you for reading! Happy Monday

Amanda can be found here
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