Pain

How I'm doing

Mentally- it is taking it' toll on me.  I know there are people in the world who just got news they have cancer etc,  there are people who just got news their loved ones have passed.... People have said " I look okay", yeah I may look ok on the outside, physically inside I'm broken, my bladder is broken, I do not live a normal life because this disease controls how I feel, controls if I 'can' be social or not, there are times I really want to but I cannot force myself out of bed.  My bad days are entered around hot Epsom salt bath, lots of medication, heating pads, there is also days of missing work  and this off course could result in losing my job.....

I used to be a happy person, a person who loved to laugh, loved to be with friends and was not stressed at all....
Now I'm usually stressed because I never know when pain could come, it can be caused by certain foods or drinks
No spicy foods, no tomato sauce, no salsa, no caffeine, no flavored (fruit)juices, no orange juice, no oranges, no pizza, nuts, salad dressings, no breads except rye because of the white or whole wheat flours, no rice
That leaves very little that I can eat or drink , here is a more detailed list 

Emotionally- I feel like I fail as a wife- my hubby did not have a sick wife when he married her, I have not been sick with this- no he does not complain, but being intimate and then have paid, really scares ya away from being in the mood.... sorry for the TMI 

Last monday I saw a new doctor- she prescribed a new medication that has to be sent from the US, it has a lot of scary side effects but I am willing to try it. She is hopeful that it will work for me, it freezes the bladder and takes the pain away, it is better then the other medication they have me on. 

Thank you for those who asked about me, it means a lot