Boundaries-

 If you would have told me a year ago that I would stop allowing people to walk over me and to stand up for myself, I would have laughed at you. 

What does it mean to stand up for yourself?

Learning to stand up for yourself means that you're looking out for your well-being and bettering your mental health. You're defending your self-worth when you take up this action. When you're too passive under difficult situations, you may feel like you've let yourself down.

 Understand that saying no can be a good thing- I have struggled with saying no all of my life because my mother is the same, she does more than she should for people, then she is tired and worn out.  I once did the same thing but the last few months I am actually saying no to anything that I do not want to do or am comfortable doing.  Saying no can be beneficial and it sets up a boundary. 

Stay true to your words- After you've set boundaries and advocated for your own needs, you may feel the need to apologize. Try your best to ignore this feeling. You can be straightforward and assertive without apology. If you feel like you need to justify your request skip the "I'm sorry, but" part. Clearly state what's on your mind.  I do this all the time, I apologize even when I have nothing to apologize for. Why, I don't know.  I've apologized to someone who has tried to make my life so miserable.  I did nothing wrong but yet I apologized.. why?

Consider how you could be giving too much- Giving your time and energy to people is great, but don’t overdo it. If you do, people will expect you to agree to any request or statement.  This weekend is crazy hectic for me, so last night I decided to take something off my plate and cancel an event that I just do not have time for. It actually felt good 

Know when to leave- If another person makes the environment toxic, it’s best to leave. You probably aren't interested in discussing the topic in a shouting match. Exit the room, get some fresh air, and make sure you're safe from physical harm. Walking out isn't a form of surrender but rather self-care. You're looking out for your well-being and safety.  I walked out of my job yesterday, I was being abused and I had enough, I was pushed beyond my limits, I got home and I beat myself up over it but the more I think of it, I put up a boundary and I am not allowing this to happen anymore.  You’re under no obligation to respond to what people say when it comes out of their mouths. If you can, take a moment to digest what kind of situation you're in and think about how you're feeling. 

Remind yourself that you deserve respect

People who allow themselves to be pushovers don't have powerful self-esteem. Think about it this way: Why don't you deserve to have people respect you and your personal boundaries? There’s no reason you can't receive respect from your coworkers, friends, family, and partners.   I used to be a pushover but I am no longer allowing it.  If you don't like my boundaries then move along, I am not the one for you. 

This all being said I have had a lot of horrible, rotten, mean, narcissistic managers in my life.  I have let them treat me like garbage- from telling me I am not worth the ink that it takes to sign my pay cheque to just rude comments. But not anymore, you treat me like a human and I will respect you, disrespect me you will lose an employee.