2.19.2018

Nine ways to reclaim romance in your marriage after a baby

Having a baby will change a lot of things, including your daily routine, lifestyle, and relationships. You will be more tired in the first few months than ever before, and will find it hard to cope alone. To make sure that having a family doesn’t affect your marriage, you will need to talk about your issues, ask for help, and trust your partner. You both have to take responsibility for the future of your marriage, and this means taking some time off to spend together and enjoy intimate moments watching a movie on the TV, curled up on the sofa. Below you will find a few tips on how to reclaim romance in your marriage after having a baby.
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  1. Involve Your Partner in Childcare

Men often feel neglected and left out when you face your new responsibilities of caring for a small and vulnerable human being. They might seem like they accept that the baby needs you more, but deep inside they crave intimacy. You cannot just neglect your childcare responsibilities, therefore, it might be time to involve your partner. Wait for the bathing time until he gets home from work, and make sure that he sees the baby before he leaves in the morning. You can ask your partner to watch the baby while you are cooking dinner, so you can share the workload, and he can have some time alone with your little one, too. This will improve the bond between the two of you and him and the baby, as well.
  1. Have Regular Date Nights

No matter how busy you are with the laundry and looking after the little one, you can take some nights out to have a date night. If you have a family member or babysitter to watch the little one while sleeping at night, you can book a table at a nearby restaurant, or simply have a date night at home with some great food after the baby goes to sleep. Be sure that you stick to a routine with your baby, and put them down to go to sleep at a certain time, so you can spend some quiet time with your partner. As soon as your baby sleeps through the night, you can make programs for the evening together.
  1. Take Family Trips

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If your partner is working all day, they might be missing out on taking the baby to walk. You will be the one who goes with them to the local park, meet other mothers, and socialize around the baby. In the weekends, however, you can take family trips to the local national reserve, with your partner carrying the baby. Just because you have a new addition to the family, you shouldn’t stop doing what you used to enjoy for years before. Spend some time together, book a family room, and simply enjoy being together.
  1. Take a Drive Together

Sometimes you might be struggling with getting your baby to sleep at a certain time. It is a well known fact that some babies fall asleep better in the back of the car. Why not get your partner to jump in the car with you and take an evening drive together? While this might not be your idea of a date, you can connect better, have a chat, and enjoy a change of scenery. It will do you good to get out of the house, and with your baby fast asleep you can continue the conversation at home.
  1. Socialize

One of the main problems young mothers face is social isolation. You need to make sure that you maintain your friendships and get together with friends, and get your partner to accompany you. Meet your old friends and introduce your partner to your new ones. You are less likely to feel alone and unsupported if you have friends around. Find out more about improving your relationship with your partner from Sam Nabil Counseling Services and ask for expert advice on how to improve your communication.
  1. Work Out

Stress can negatively impact your relationship. To restore your chemical balance after childbirth, and feel better in your skin after having a baby, you might want to start a home routine just a few minutes a day, while the baby is sleeping. You can get involved in energizing workout programs, such as yoga and tai chi. Working out will restore your confidence level, and make you feel better about yourself as a woman, which will improve your romantic life.
  1. Leave Love Notes

To bring back the romance you believe is lost after having a baby, show your appreciation to your partner. Leave love notes for them on the fridge, on the mirror, and their lunch box. This way you can express your love in a way that men can understand it. If you would like to improve the game, you can even get your baby to “sign” the letters with their fingers or toes.
  1. Spoil Your Partner Sometimes

Instead of focusing solely on your new baby, make sure you have time for planning surprises for your partner, too. Simple things, such as cooking their favorite food, or getting them a surprise, a card, or a video game will not take a lot out of your time, and can help you restore romance and intimacy. Make sure you tell them how you feel about them, so they don’t feel left out and unsupported.
  1. Create New Rituals

Your lifestyle will change with the arrival of your new baby, and so will your daily routine. Spend a few minutes with your partner in the morning and have breakfast together. Never be too busy to listen to them. Spend a few minutes together or talk about your day after the baby has gone to bed, over your favorite snack. Have a bath together, and simply enjoy each other’s company.

Having a new baby can be challenging for most couples. You need to make adjustments to your daily routine, and pay attention to your partner’s feelings, as well as your baby’s needs. Don’t make your partner feel ignored and unsupported, and involve them in looking after the little one, so you can start a journey towards a new level of intimacy together.

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