2 years-

Two Years Without You

My dearest Rachel,

It's been two years.

Two years since you left, and somehow the world has kept turning, but a part of me is still standing still, right back in the moment we lost you. Some days it feels like an eternity, and other days it feels like yesterday. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you.

I miss you in ways words will never fully hold. Not just in the big moments, but in the quiet, everyday ones the things only you and I would understand. I still hear your voice. I still catch myself thinking, "I need to tell Rachel this," and for a split second, it feels like I can.

You were never just my sister. You were my safe place, my laughter, my constant. A piece of home that I now carry in my heart instead of having beside me. You were my friend, my confidant, and one of the greatest blessings of my life.

There are still so many things I wish I could tell you.

I want to tell you about your kids because, Rachel, you would be so incredibly proud of them. The way they've handled losing both of you so quickly is something no child should ever have to endure. Yet somehow, they continue to move forward with a strength that can only come from you.

Curtis has a job in a trade now. He's working hard, finding his way, and growing into a young man you would be so proud to call your son. The girls are doing wonderfully in school. They're smart, strong, resilient, and every day I see pieces of you shining through them.

And Lina I need you to know about her too. She has been such a blessing. She takes care of everything they need, but more than that, she makes sure your memory lives on. She lets them talk about you, cry when they need to, and remember you openly. She visits your grave, brings flowers, and loves them fiercely. She has been a true gift to all of us, and I know you would be grateful for the way she has stepped in and cared for your children.

The pain of losing you has never truly gone away. I've simply learned how to carry it. There are days when missing you feels overwhelming, like it sits heavy in my chest and won't let me breathe. Then there are moments when I find myself smiling because loving you is still one of the greatest gifts I've ever been given.

That love didn't leave when you did.

It's still here.

It's in every memory, every story we tell, every family gathering where your absence is felt, and every milestone that makes us wish you were here to celebrate with us. You are woven into our lives in ways that time can never erase.

I hope you can see us. I hope you know how deeply you are loved, how fiercely you are missed, and how often your name is spoken. You are not forgotten not for a moment.

Two years later, my heart still whispers your name.

If heaven has visiting hours, I'm counting the days until I see you again.

Until then, I'll keep carrying you with me in my heart, in my thoughts, and in every precious memory I hold close.

I love you always, Rachel.

Always and forever. 🤍