Wife Talk- 10 Habits of a Happy Couple

What does it take to be happy in a relationship? If you’re working to improve your marriage, here are the 10 habits of happy couples.

1. GO TO BED AT THE SAME TIME. Remember the beginning of your relationship, when you couldn’t wait to go to bed with each other to make love? Happy couples resist the temptation to go to bed at different times. They go to bed at the same time, even if one partner wakes up later to do things while their partner sleeps. And when their skins touch it still causes each of them to tingle and unless one or both are completely exhausted to feel sexually excited.

2. CULTIVATE COMMON INTERESTS. After the passion settles down, it’s common to realize that you have few interests in common. But don’t minimize the importance of activities you can do together that you both enjoy. If common interests are not present, happy couples develop them. At the same time, be sure to cultivate interests of your own; this will make you more interesting to your mate and prevent you from appearing too dependent.

3. WALK HAND IN HAND OR SIDE BY SIDE. Do things together. Rather than one partner lagging or dragging behind the other, happy couples walk comfortably hand in hand or side by side. They know it’s more important to be with their spouse than to see the sights along the way.

4. MAKE TRUST AND FORGIVENESS YOUR DEFAULT MODE. If and when they have a disagreement or argument, and if they can’t resolve it, happy couples default to trusting and forgiving rather than distrusting and begrudging.

5. FOCUS MORE ON WHAT YOUR SPOUSE DOES RIGHT THAN WHAT HE OR SHE DOES WRONG. If you look for things your partner does wrong, you can always find something. If you look for what he or she does right, you can always find something, too. It all depends on what you want to look for. Happy couples accentuate the positive.

6. HUG EACH OTHER AS SOON AS YOU SEE EACH OTHER AFTER WORK. Our skin has a memory of “good touch” (loved), “bad touch” (abused) and “no touch” (neglected). Couples who say hello with a hug keep their skin bathed in the “good touch,” which can inoculate your spirit against anonymity in the world.

7. SAY "I LOVE YOU" AND "HAVE A GOOD DAY" EVERY MORNING. This is a great way to buy some patience and tolerance as each partner sets out each day to battle traffic jams, long lines and other annoyances.

8. SAY "GOOD NIGHT" EVERY NIGHT, REGARDLESS OF HOW YOU FEEL. This tells your partner that, regardless of how upset you are with him or her, you still want to be in the relationship. It says that what you and your partner have is bigger than any single upsetting incident.

9. DO A "WEATHER" CHECK DURING THE DAY. Call your spouse at home or at work to see how his or her day is going. This is a great way to adjust expectations so that you’re more in sync when you connect after work. For instance, if your partner is having an awful day, it might be unreasonable to expect him or her to be enthusiastic about something good that happened to you.

10. BE PROUD TO BE SEEN WITH YOUR SPOUSE. Happy couples are pleased to be seen together and are often in some kind of affectionate contact — hand on hand or hand on shoulder or knee or back of neck. They are not showing off but rather just saying that they belong with each other.

Happy couples have different habits than unhappy couples. A habit is a discrete behavior that you do automatically and that takes little effort to maintain. It takes 21 days of daily repetition of a new a behavior to become a habit. So select one of the behaviors in the list above to do for 21 days and voila, it will become a habit…and make you happier as a couple. And if you fall off the wagon, don’t despair, just apologize to your partner, ask their forgiveness and recommit yourself to getting back in the habit. ~ Dr. Mark Goulson

13 Years

13 years ago in front of family and friends we repeated our vows that would last a lifetime.

  13 years = 156 months

13 years = 676 weeks

13 years = 4745 days

and counting every day with you 

Some of our vows were:

I, Terri , take you, Andrew, to be my husband, my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live.

I, Andrew, take you, Terri, to be my wife, my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live.

You are so incredible in everything you do for me- You make me laugh, you hold me when I cry. You work so hard so that I can work part time and keep house, you are always there for me even when you are very busy, you still take me on dates, hold my hand when driving in the car, fix my computer problems, let me cry on your shoulder... 

I can go on and on, you are just incredible and I am a lucky lady to be your wife. 

I've known you my whole life. But only in my heart. I would dream of you for so long. So many represented you. My dad. Every Ken doll I ever played with. 

Every prince in every Disney cartoon. The lead character in every John Hughes film. 

And, then you became a reality. But only after I found me could I find you. 

Because you stood for the other half of me. You allowed me to be me. You've helped me achieve my dreams. I reach further knowing if I fall you'll be there to catch me. 

You've given me the greatest gift I can ever know. The gift of motherhood.

The life we've created together was made out of pure love. We will raise her with pure love. 

And, one day we will smile at each other knowingly as she finds her own soul mate. Thank you my love for the brilliant life we've created together. Thank you for making all my dreams come true.

My words fall short to express what my heart really feel so deeply. You love me just the way God created me, with every scar and imperfection. You can see past my outward flaws into the depths of my heart and you love me just the same. Just one look or a hug from you I know everything will be ok. 

I love you Now and Always my darling 

Weekend recap

This was a very full weekend, I hope I can remember everything

Friday:
My day started really early...I went to Tim Horton's to enjoy a coffee while waiting for appointment number 1 with my gyno, it went well.
Then I went downtown to get pretty nails

I love getting my nails done I always get super relaxed and leave feeling great.
After that I went to a second dr apt, after 3 years we have a family doctor and she is so sweet,  I had to get a tetnis shot though because I have never had one- the needle didn't hurt but my arm is so sore still.
We had a wedding to go to as well, Mr and Mrs Chris Eaton- beautiful wedding

 Brooke got invited by a classmate to go see a movie and the mom asked me to go too, they treated us, it was so nice of them, the movie was better then I thought, we saw Home, super cute.

Saturday:
Cleaned house, got bedding and curtains on the line- I love bedding dried in the wind. It smells so good.
I took an extra long nap, I have not ben sleeping well so I think it was my body telling me to slow down and relax.
We had our anniversary dinner early because Monday's are so busy here with voice lessons etc, so we did that tonight, on Monday I will cook for him.
We went to Montana's- it was so so amazing.

We never leave there disappointed. We went for a walk across the walking bridge all while being together, such a beautiful night, stopped for ice cream, did some shopping for a couple garden related items, came home and watched a movie. I cannot believe Monday is 13 years since I said I do and I still do.

Sunday:
Sunday Am service was at our old location which means we got to sleep in an extra hour, it was nice.
After PM service we went to Harvey's, I love that place so much.

Check back tomorrow for a special anniversary post

1 Year

Dear Grandpa,

You have been in heaven for 1 year, I know now you are happy and healthy now but this has been the longest year of my life

Many time I wanted to pick up the phone and call you, just to hear your voice one more time, I would love to see your smile, hear you laugh, hear you sing your favourite songs again.

You were such a wonderful husband, Dad, step dad, brother, cousin, uncle, grandpa, great grandpa, you were an amazing friend to all who know you, a kind neighbour, a man who loved to pray.

I miss you more today then I did the day you passed, the pain is just so real still.

I have a part of me that died the day you died, I hope heaven has coffee because we are going to have lots to catch up on.

I love you
Rest Easy Grandpa

The Undertaker's Wife - Review

Dee Oliver grew up in a wealthy environment, living in a beach front home in Virginia. After graduating from a private college, she lived at home, struggling to figure out both a career path and her love life.

 In the 1980's Dee met her future husband-to-be, Johnnie, when he contacts her after she catches his eye during a funeral. Johnnie is a fourth generation funeral director and his profession shapes their entire relationship, starting on the first date when he needs to leave a restaurant to pick up a body, bringing Dee along.

The pair soon married and Dee found her life shift, as she became the mother to three daughters and helped out at the funeral home. When Johnnie unexpectedly dies of a heart attack in his early fifties, Dee is left not only mourning her husband, but trying to figure out a new direction for her life. She decides to go back to school and get her funeral director's license, expecting to find a job at her husband's funeral home, which is being run by her brother-in-law. When it comes time to fulfill her internship hours, she is shocked when her brother-in-law refuses to let her work for him. Dee finds that the only funeral director willing to help her out, is a man named Riddick, who runs the only African-American funeral home in town.

The Undertaker's Wife is Dee Oliver. She is such an inspiration and a strong woman. She's plucky and someone who doesn't give up,Oliver is frequently funny, lightening the mood even when writing about her husband's death. She dispenses good advice towards pre-planning your own funeral and on the grieving process, both for someone who is in mourning, but also towards those who are interacting with people who have recently suffered a loss. 

Soul Friends Review

When I first read this book, I decided I wanted to get one for my friends birthday that was coming up- she is my soul friend. 

Dr. Leslie Parrot writes that these deep-spirited relationships are the essential element to the formation of her faith, but Soul Friends is no formulaic manual for finding or being a better friend.  Dr. Parrott invites her readers to turn the pages and feel the warmth of a spiritual journey, lived alongside sisters-in-faith who believe to follow Jesus.  Sharing the faith journey “where you are right now” is a process of living, obeying, loving and believing “right there,”  in the context and with the people God has provided.  This spiritual journey in company with one’s soul friends is marked by four major landmarks:

1.  Quest:  This is a recognition of one’s own adventure and involves finding the treasure of God’s will and, in the process, becoming a treasure for those we know and love.

2.  Calling:  God’s action plan for the traveler requires humility, for we are ever in the process of being stretched as we depend on God and the sustenance of our soul friends along the way.

3.  Crisis:  We travel an unknown road and find grace to meet the challenges.  Dr. Parrott’s account reads like excerpts from a spiritual journal as she walks beside those who battle cancer, mourn the loss of a child, absorb the news of unexpected pregnancy, or manage the decline of a beloved parent.

4.  Communion:  The command to love one another is the essence and the destination of our spiritual journey.  Travelling with soul friends, the expedition transcends the ordinary, yielding “fruit that remains,” (John 15).

This book was provided by  Book Look Bloggers program in exchange for my honest review.