3.05.2014

Wednesdays for Women- From The Depths Of My Heart!






{To Inspire and Encourage}

Today I introduce to you , one of my long time friends, she is new to blogging and so I asked her to join me and go say hello to her when you are done reading. 

From The Depths Of My Heart!


I was asked yesterday by a friend to post a blog about the struggles I’ve had with my health issues (epilepsy) and also share some of my opinions and struggles as a single Mom. This friend asked me to do this so she could share it to HER blog as a devotional to help others. So here goes.. in January of 2008 I was diagnosed with epilepsy. For several months before this, I had been waking in the night completely paralized (unable to control my own body) yet my body would be shaking violently. I knew there was something terribly wrong. I would be exhausted after these episodes were over, and sore. In November of the same year I became a single Mom..I guess the point of this blog is to be totally honest, and to help someone else, so here it is. I spent one month of my life hospitalized for a nervous breakdown, because my life had just come to the place where I had fallen apart..but I had 2 small children, and I had to get better for THEM! I picked up the pieces of my life, and started over..just me and my 2 sweet little men..over the past 5 1/2 yrs, I’ve learned alot! I’ve learned how to stand on my own 2 feet..I’ve learned that the love of my children is all I really need for now, and if in time God sees fit for me to meet the right guy well great! :) If not, well I will go on loving my sweet boys! Really it hasnt been much of a struggle being a single Mom! My boys have TWO great parents, for which I’m thankful..its just that in my case, things couldnt work..their Dad and I are on good terms, and I even get along with their Dad’s new wife. Do we always agree on everything? No! We have our disagreements..thats life, and its human nature, but for the sake of those 2 innocent children, we all get along! Which is the way it should be, and the way I want it to be..and no its NOT always easy..and Im speaking in honesty and from my heart here, like I said I would! :) Like I said..its not always easy, BUT its the way it needs to be, and has to be for the sake of my kids! I dont want my boys growing up seeing me fighting with their dad, or their dad’s wife! They need to see peace, and unity in their family! That is my wish for ALL children..unfortunately..thats not going to happen! :(
As for the epilepsy..Yes thats been a struggle..In and out of hospitals..EEG’s.constantly changing meds to try to find the right meds, the right dosage to control the seizures. Abnormal EEG’s..fighting for disability because I cannot work..losing my driver’s license..suffering off and on with depression, feeling alone at times, cooped up in my house not wanting to “bug” people for a drive to the store, or just to get out of the house! Yeah its tough. Having to depend on others ALL the time to get me to appointments, to town, and anywhere I need to go. But its my safety, and the safety of those around me that counts! And until now, very few people have known this, but Im about to let the cat out of the bag, but the last month has been a real struggle..seizure after seizure. Im exhausted. I see my neurologist in a month..hopefully he will do some tests, find out whats going on. Its a daily struggle really, never knowing when a I could take the next seizure. But I know God is with me. I also suffer from complex migraines, which resemble a stroke..they are severe migraines that cause my face and hands to go numb. They are scary, and medication does not seem to control them. My neurologist feels they may be somehow connected to the seizures. So yes, it has been a struggle, especially being a single Mom, because each time Ive been hospitalized means I have to leave my babies behind for days at a time..which is rough! Atleast though, they are always in good hands when I have to go for a few days! But though the road is sometimes rough..I just keep pressing forward!! Thats all one can do!! Giving up is NOT an option! Being negative is not an option..for a time in my life, I was VERY negative..always posting negative things on facebook, airing my dirty laundry so to speak, and really, where does it get you? I have found personally that I feel so much better about myself when I just walk away from the negativity and instead of posting something negative when im angry or upset, my whole attitude and perspective changes when instead I post something positive/uplifting! I have decided for me, and for my house, I am going to do everything in my power to create a positive atmosphere! I want my children to grow up in a home where theres nothing but love, and happiness! Not negativity, and sadness! So if your facing something in your life, that has you down, whether it be a health issue or whatever it is..keep walking forward, dont look back..dont give up..you can get through it!! I have, and am :) I am happier today, than I’ve ever been…I have my own home..2 precious little boys..a wonderful family who supports me..friends that mean the world to me…I am truly blessed!! <3

7 comments

  1. Very inspiring story! Great how you pushed through and are in a super happy positive place right now.

    Michelle F.

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  2. Great post,it is hard to share these things with others. Keep up the positive and lean on those who are willing to help

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  3. Seeing you wrote "Being negative is not an option" means you have such a positive outlook and that definitely helps!

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  4. I gave up negativity for Lent (and forever). Not only am I trying to keep positive but I am surrounding myself with those who are good for me. Great post!

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  5. Wow what a story - you're brave for sharing and "putting yourslef out there" like that. My dad had seizures for about 10 years while he was about 55-65 - they never found a real cause and then they just stopped and he's been seizure free for about 5 years now and meds free for about 4. Even just as a daughter it was a really scary thing to never know when one might happen. He only ever had 1 while awake, ther est were at night so it was a bit of a relief but the not knowing is just awful.

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  6. Thanks for being so up front about all of your experiences. What a wonderfully uplifting post-thanks for the inspiration and sharing. I hope you continue to be happy and stay positive!

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  7. Very touching story. So glad you have a good working relationship with your ex, that makes it easier for everyone involved.

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