Marriage Monday: Love Story of Heather & Allan

In 2004, I suddenly became single. The marriage I was in was not working. The man I was married to was floundering and our lives had become a mess of emotional and financial ruin. It was the lowest point of my life. Here I was a single woman in her late 40's, two (yes I said two) failed marriages behind here, no career to speak of and no place to call home. For the next couple of years, I lived in an apartment in a sketchy area of town and worked rebuilding my life while haphazardly dating. When I turned 50, I said to my best friend Helen that this was going to be the "Year of Heather". I was determined to turn my life around, buy a house (thanks to a great government scheme that allowed for minimal down payments), get a promotion at work (or change careers to selling real estate) and meet the man of my dreams. That was in February of 2006.

By June, I had bought a little house. It was going to be the "forever" house. It was a quintessential single woman house with two bedrooms and a little garden. I had also gotten a promotion at work and was able to finally afford to enjoy life a little more without having to eat Kraft dinner if I went out to the movies that week.  But the dream man......that wasn't happening. I was still languishing in serial dating the wrong guys. And with my career in full swing and a new house to deal with, I decided that life was full enough and that I didn't NEED  a man to make this "the year of Heather".  And got down to the business of living.

Parkwood Estate, Oshawa, Ontario Annual Gala 2006

And life was full. Between my kids and grand kids, travelling for work and some charity work that included involvement at a fundraising gala for the local historical home, I was busy. As I attended the gala that year alone again for the third year, I thought to myself that I needed to find someone who I could bring to this type of event. Someone who didn't mind dressing up in a tuxedo every once in a while. Someone who wasn't looking for a commitment, but who was just looking for a date every once in a while.

www.plentyoffish.com

When I got home that night, I figured it wouldn't do any harm to spend some time surfing the web for some online dating services to see if that man was out there - you know, the handsome tuxedo wearing casual dater who wasn't looking for a commitment but was looking to be able to go to the occasional artsy movie and knew about Holt Renfrew  (that was the benchmark question as my daughter worked at this upscale store at the time). They didn't necessarily have to shop there, just know that it existed - I couldn't afford to shop there after all).

After seeing this smiling face, the description of how he was looking for someone to go to the movies, to have a quiet dinner and who lived in the big city, I clicked on Alan's profile. One click. One moment that changed everything. And it was magical from the first moment. In fact, it was so right I was worried that it was wrong. This wasn't what I was looking for. This lovely man was too good for me. I didn't deserve to be with such a good person.

Our Wedding Day - May 21, 2009

But apparently I was. Because today is our 4th wedding anniversary. Today we will celebrate by going out for one of those quiet diners. In our new town in our new life in our new happiness that just feels rights.

I love you, Alan, in so many ways.

Your love, compassion and understanding has brought out things in me I didn't know existed.

Thank you for making my life complete.