How to cope with divorce after long standing marriage

A divorce, after the death of a loved one, is considered the second saddest event in a person's life especially if people live together for a very long time. The initial shock will very soon replace the feeling of emptiness and painful loss, and only after a while will real emotions come, enveloped in great sadness. Deterioration of health, overweight, anxiety, non-working relationships, and unhealthy lifestyle accompany everything. Any marriage, as a rule, does not break up from day to day. Usually, relationship problems slowly accumulate, and if the partners do not pay enough attention to them, and they do not solve the issues from the very beginning, they grow into something big. If a divorce happens after more than ten years of marriage, when a particular relationship has already formed between people, then those who remain themselves, as a rule, fall into a deep depression. They feel that the world has lost meaning for them; they do not know how to continue to live. Recover from a divorce, for them is not a matter of days, weeks and even months. Everything can last for years. According to psychologists, the worst is the first year after a divorce, when a person first experiences moments that he or she had previously encountered together, and suddenly s/he finds oneself whether it is a birthday, a summer holiday or an anniversary. How to cope with the situation? 1. Break away from the past Stop thinking about why all this happened, because it still does not lead to anything. Try a simple exercise: Move in thoughts to the moment that was most difficult for you during a divorce, and imagine how you come out a winner in this situation. Wrap all your denials and discomfort into the imaginable bag and throw it off a rock or destroy it in another way that suits you. Thus, your brain will come off a difficult emotional situation, and you will feel much better. The divorce is over, and the return to it will not lead you anywhere. Look ahead and do not try to change something that you cannot change anyway. Remember that the past lives only thanks to your head. When you leave it alone, it will just die. 2. Be above your ex-partner As soon as your ex- drags through the mud, behave him(-her)self rudely and unfairly, try to keep emotions in check. Try at all costs, do not be the same. It is better to swallow hurtful words and look at the situation from your peace of mind: Should you be nervous about the other? 3. Throw everything you can If you want to start usually living as soon as possible, do not take things from the past into a new life. If your financial situation allows, remove everything you can from the house. Everything that symbolizes the old life will remind you of the past. Pack all the things of your former partner and either send him or her or throw away immediately. 4. Try to find a new hobby Staying at home alone is the road to hell. Try to remember what you always wanted to do, but due to lack of time, it did not work out and focus on it. Be it the learning of languages, painting, and dance course - try something that will please you, and at the same time, you will have the opportunity to meet new people. 5. Go on a trip If your financial situation after a divorce allows, go somewhere abroad with friends. Leave the children at home and go to rest. Take time for yourself and think about your life. Shortstops in this life situation will not hurt. Promise yourself that you are using divorce as your life chance to live better. Today you are standing at the crossroads of life where you can decide what to do next. So choose something for yourself and go in the right direction! 6. Do not forget about the children If you have ordinary children with your former spouse, keep in mind that this event was just as hard to blow for you as well as for them. Children often perceive parents' divorce as their own mistake, and fearfully expect what will happen next, whether the other parent will continue to be interested in them, when they do not live together, etc. In these moments, it is essential to talk with children as much as possible, openly, constantly emphasizing your love for them. About the author: Melisa Marzett is a former marketing specialist who now writes guest articles and works for Online Class Mentor as a self-employed independent worker. People know her in the writer’s circles, a respectable and preferred writer.

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