Take A Walk In My Shoes

L.

O.

V.

E

A small word with so much meaning.

Different meanings for different people and for different people.

I love my husband with a different love than I have for my kids and grandchild.

I have friends that I say “love ya” to but it is not an attractive type of love, it is a friendly love to let them know I am thinking of them.

I have been married to my husband for 22 years this year and I can tell you what I think real love feels like?

You don't worry about what they're doing or who they're with, you both trust each other and respect that you have very significant mutual feelings. True love is comfort and happiness. True love is the most amazing feeling in the world. It's like this overwhelming sense of purpose and warmth. I can talk to him about anything, I am not scared he will judge etc. He has seen me at my darkest days and lowest lows yet each day he is still here- to me this is real love.

What love feels like

1.It's more than lust

It's important to recognize the difference between lust and love. While lust is one stage on the way to love, you're going to need more than physical attraction to make it last. In time, the deeper you get to know them and the more you bond, the more you'll grow to care for who they really are—and the more they'll care for who you really are, too.

2. You're not concerned with the risk

If anything, risk is what makes it exciting. Love pushes you to open yourself up completely to another person, to really be seen and understood. Love is a huge risk, but it seems to be the one we're all willing to take.

3.You feel calm and content around this person

Eventually, as the honeymoon phase dissipates and you and your partner really begin to see who the other is, there's a sense of calm familiarity. You feel grounded and content in their presence. 

4.It just feels right

Love doesn't always have "good reasons," which is where the idea of unconditional love comes from. It doesn't always feel easy or even necessarily positive, but it always feels like I'm right where I need to be.

5.You feel like a complete individual

Your partner shouldn't "complete" you; in fact, feeling that way is a good sign that you're more in the infatuation phase than true love. Love happens between two whole people,

Both people are free to be their whole selves. Couples experience "true individuation and self-discovery" when they're truly in love, In this way, you don't feel incomplete without them but rather that you're two whole people who work well as a team.

6.You accept the good with the bad

Before getting to the wholehearted stage, couples must go through disillusionment (the end of the honeymoon phase when faults start showing up) and ultimately, a decision about whether to stay together. There's really no way around it. "Loving is realizing all the ways you're not perfect together and making it work anyway.

7.You actively choose them

Once you've accepted those things about your partner that aren't exactly your favorite—congratulations! —you've actively decided your love for them is more important. Long-term love is very much a choice. I think there's more than one right person—I think you can make a choice to spend your life with someone.

8. You trust your love will last

Despite the risk and any other difficulties, there's a deep knowing that you want this person in your life, and trust they'll be around for the long haul. And building this trust is no easy feat,  it's a process that takes time.

9.You've overcome obstacles and challenges

Developing true love takes going through rough seasons and finding out all the ways you're not compatible.( The first 7 years of our marriage, I did not expect to last, now here we are year 22)  But the more your relationship is put to the test, the stronger you become as a pair. Of course, every relationship still takes effort, but once you reach wholehearted love, you've really sharpened your communication and conflict-resolution skills.

10.You could live without them‚ but you don't want to

Going back to the idea of being a complete individual with and without a partner, there's the part of you that knows you would be OK without your great love. But with that said, you know this isn't what you want because you simply, genuinely love having this person in your life.