Confessional friday

Another week, another chance to link up with Leslie 

Today I confess to you 

1) As I said on Instagram here -Two days of technical issues has made for a long week, they had to send me new equipment.. now I am all back and running and playing catch up. 

2) We got so much snow- school was cancelled for two days, I worked but Andrew and Brooke were home...

I went for a walk yesterday in the snow 

3) Hubby and I are having a date night tonight, been a while. 

4) I spent all day Monday at the hospital with my bladder, they are finally moving ahead, ordering in medication from the USA because I can not get it here... hoping to go pain free soon 

Wednesdays for Women- Mother In laws vs the wife

As some of you are aware my relationship with my inlaws started off on the wrong foot, when we came from our honeymoon, we still stayed at a hotel because we had lots of family around, the following morning my mother in law knocked on our door at 5 am asking for her fruit cake( it is a tradition here to have fruit cake at your wedding- no idea why but we never ate it) well we had no idea where the cake was, so we told her that, she wash;t happy and decided to disown us, this went on for a while.. 

when I was pregnant she came to help me out for a bit and we were playing a game one night and she was driving me crazy and I lost it on her… i truly believe that night she would never talk to me again.. 

When Brooke was born we moved in with them, in the basement part of the house but shared the kitchen.. it was hard because she worked a late shift and she would always be upset that we didn’t want for her to eat ( at midnight).. there were just so many things that made it hard to have a relationship with her. 

The first time I cooked for them was 3 years ago, I just never felt they would enjoy my cooking ( they are amazing cooks), I just felt like nothing I did was good enough, i wasn’t good enough for their baby boy.. 

this off course had left Andrew in a very hard place, I was his wife and his mom.. thankfully he stuck beside me, and would never invite them over without me being OK with it.. i

They love Brooke- they adore her- she is in fact probably their favourite grandchild, they have so much fun together.. they play games, they watch movies, she has never been at their house for a sleep over without us but I want that to change. 

Last May I believe is when our relationship changed, we took a vacation together for 18 days with my mother in law, we laughed a lot, we ate yummy food, we met her family, we got along… 

I was so worried about the trip with her, but it was really good. I am so glad we took her with us, no off course it isn’t perfect with her but it could have been a lot worst. 

Now I can call her up, email or text her and we can carry on a conversation, I called today and invited them for Easter and it feels so good at night when I go to sleep that we now like each other and we can tolerate each other, I am sure she felt the same way about me, and maybe we will never be best friends but for now we are working on a relationship and that is all we can do. 

How about you? Do you have a relationship with your In laws?

Wife Talk- 16 Things That Will Immediately Help Your Marriage...

To uplift women and encourage them to keep going in their marriage and to love their spouse unconditionally 

16 Things That Will Immediately Help Your Marriage... 

1. Free yourself from negative people.
2. Show kindness and respect.
3. Encourage your spouse and cheer for them. ...
4. Forgive and move forward.
5. Do little things every day for one another.
6. Be loyal.
7. Keep your promises and tell the truth.
8. Give.
9. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
10. Listen more.
11. Talk less.
12. Don't sweat the small stuff.
13. Touch.
14. Make your marriage your #1 earthly relationship.
15. Praise publicly and privately.
16. Don't spend more than you make.

Want a Happy Marriage? Be Nice, Don't Nitpick

Want a Happy Marriage? Be Nice, Don't Nitpick

Thermostat settings. Dirty socks. Toothpaste caps. Our little habits make our spouses crazy. But no two people are ever truly compatible, so quit nitpicking each other, relationship experts advise. Save the battles for the big issues -- and you'll have a happy marriage.

For a happy marriage, here's how to deal with conflict:

• Bring up things that bother you in a nonthreatening way. "Be nice. No name calling"

• Bring up specific issues or behaviours, rather than personality qualities. In a happy marriage, there's no attacking the person. "Bring up the specific time, how you felt about it, then people can change the behaviour, "Otherwise, they don't know what to do about it, they're boxed in."

• Use "I" statements. Instead of "you're a very messy person' say 'I'm really bothered when you put clothes on the floor." Such statements show how you feel about a specific behaviour, and that's important in a happy marriage.  

• Try to stay calm. Studies show that the calmer you are, the more you will be taken seriously, "Take a breath, count to 10, breathe. Try to be nonthreatening.

• Take a break. "If you're going back and forth, if you find blood pressure going up, take minutes or seconds, "Don't take hours. If you take too long, it festers in the other person, they've had time analyze it; you're dismissing their feelings opinions, dismissing them.

• Don't bring it up at night. Choose the right time -- not when people are tired, hungry, when the kids are all around, when you've got a deadline at work. Those are not best times."

• Consider your spouse's point of view, if you want a truly happy marriage.Studies show that every single action has a different meaning depending on if you are male, female, your race, your background. That is important to remember in conflict resolution."

Do you consider your self a person who Nitpicks or a Nice person?

Weekend Recap

Friday: 
It felt like this week has gone so quickly, work has been so busy, taking a later lunch which I have been doing works great, I go back around 2:30 and then I have to take another break before I’m done for the day.. but the weird thing was this was a long day, does that make sense ;) 

Need to brag on my girly for a second, she had to write a poem a few weeks back for school they had judges etc and she came in the top 10 in the whole province, I am so proud of her, so proud of her. 

I had a ladies night out, we went to McGinnis landing, my food was amazing and i may have eaten it all… then they brought out dessert, it was Chocolate Eruption, that I really wanted but I could not eat all of it, so I shared with some other ladies around the table.

some of the ladies 

My food, that is a huge piece of ribs there 

Chocolate Eruption cheesecake

It was a reveal for our secret sister that has been going on for a year that I have gotten spoiled rotten over, tonight she gave me the top present here, which is a London Bridge clock that I have fallen in love with a while ago, not sure how she knew that but she is awesome, she is one of my best friends at church, Thank you Wanda, thank you so much for spoiling me

This is present from through out the year 

I just realized I didn't take a picture of my christmas present from her 

so here is part of it 

yes it is christmas theme but I still have it out.. is that wrong ;) #sorrynotsorry

also got me a big box of Lindor chocolates ( my absolute fav's), candle melts to go in the warmer ( apple pie and cookie dough scent), and a tim hortons coffee card

Saturday:
Woke up to Broke making us breakfast in bed, it was the best coffee and toast i have ever eaten. So proud of my girl.  
Our pastor called and said he had a meeting and asked if I could watch the kids, it was a short visit,  then hubby and I went to town, I needed to get the ingredients for cheesecake and stopped to say hi to a friend. 
Made wings and Nachos for Hockey Night. 

Sunday :
We woke up to about a foot of snow- we had no AM service because of the winter storm. 
We slept in, cleared the snow, ate some yummy food and cheesecake and played games. 
We went to visit our friends after PM service for pizza and coffee, they got a new little puppy, he is so adorable, I wish we had no allergies so we could have a little fur baby. 

How was your weekend?

Confessional Friday

Linking up with Leslie for another Confessional friday

Today I confess to you

1. I feel like this week went super fast, wasn't it just last weekend already...
It has been crazy busy over here with work, meetings, etc... I have been so exhausted at end of work day, my house has been terribly neglected.

2.  My brother and I are planning a vacation to Colorado for June... to see our sister. Im not sure if I can have vacation by then or not so let's just wait and see

3. I'm excited for a girls night out tonight, gonna be a great time with some pretty awesome ladies

4. it feels like Spring has sprung! it's been rain and not to cold, I'm sure winter is still here but it don't feel like it

Loving Lately

Here are some of my favorite things lately 

1) Grey's anatomy- I'm seriously addicted.. I cannot stop watching it... I watch it on my breaks, my lunch, fall asleep at night watching it... my house has been so neglected so I can watch Grey's.... so horrible. I blame my brother because he told me about it and how I should be watching it. 

2) Acai & Blueberry covered in dark chocolate- i have a bag on my desk and i keep snacking.. so  much for the diet

3. My bed- I just wanna chill out and sleep while watching Grey's

4. Chinese food - we have been going to this restaurant on Friday Nights that has the best chinese food buffet

What is some of your favorite things lately?

Wednesdays for Women- 11 WAYS TO BUILD UP YOUR SPOUSE ...

To uplift women and encourage them to keep going in their marriage and to love their spouse unconditionally 

11 WAYS TO BUILD UP YOUR SPOUSE ... 

"I can live for two months on a good compliment." ~Mark Twain 

Words are powerful, so use them to build up your marriage relationship, not to tear it down. Criticism is damaging ... but don't forget to use actual "words of praise" to make your spouse feel loved. 

Here are some your spouse would love to hear you say... 

1. I love you.

2. I really admire you for... (something specific).

3. I appreciate you.

4. What do you need from me, or what can I do for you right now?

5. Thank you

6. I'm sorry; forgive me.

7. You are the most beautiful woman/handsome man in the world.

8. You are my best friend.

9. Have I told you recently how much I love the way you...(be specific).

10. You rock my world.

11. You look incredible today. 

What are some things you LOVE to hear your spouse say? 

10 ways to build trust after an affair

When you find out your spouse has had an affair, you feel anger, you wonder where you went wrong, you wonder why you weren't enough... here are some tips to help your relationship heal 

10 WAYS TO REBUILD TRUST AFTER AN AFFAIR

1. Stop lying and strive for honesty. After betraying your partner's trust, you will add insult to injury by continuing to lie, twist, hide, or deny. Take up the challenge of honesty at all levels. It is the only way to reclaim your own integrity. Provide the complete story up front and do so voluntarily. A voluntary confession is a major step in beginning to restore trust.

2. COMPLETELY End things openly and clearly with the person you cheated with. This person is a part of the problem, even if unwittingly. Their role can't be ignored. If you don't offer closure, there may never be any. Completely end this relationship, friendship, and if at all possible, all contact whatsoever. 

3. Take complete responsibility for your mistakes. Cheating is 100% a choice. Accept that you made a mistake and admit that to your spouse. Even if your partner is guilty of many mistakes of his or her own, don't blame your partner for cheating. Instead of cheating, you could have dealt with the issues in other, honest ways. 

4. Answer questions. It is extremely difficult for a betrayed partner to know that there is another man/woman in the world who has more information about their marriage than themselves. Your partner may want lots of details and ask questions about things you may not want to answer, but too bad, answer them.

5. Be patient as your partner rebuilds trust. Suspicion and distrust are natural reactions when a person has been cheated on and lied to—after all, the evidence supports a belief that you aren't trustworthy. Trust can be rebuilt, but it does not come quickly. 

6. Be around. Your partner needs opportunity to work through things with you. At minimum, you need to be emotionally available. However, physical presence can help further, as it will also counteract your partner's feelings that you don't value him or her. Be there to listen, even though it is you that caused the pain. Otherwise, your partner will have lost one of the most important people in their lives that they turn to for support: you.

7. Make your partner feel #1 again. When you cheated, you gave someone else attention and value that normally you would reserve for your own partner. As a result, this may make your partner feel that you don't value them, or that they lack things you sought in the person you cheated with. It can also make your partner believe that other people don't realize that you value them. It is up to you to counteract these feelings and convince them that you will not betray them again.

8. Be open. The more openness you demonstrate, the less urgency your partner will feel to check in on your activities. When you are by yourself, your partner may wonder whether you are where you say you are. Ease their insecurities by letting know what you're doing and checking in with messages or quick phone calls when you aren't at home. Keep in mind that your phone, email, voicemail, and even things like bills may feel like sources of secrets and lies to your partner. If you choose to provide voluntary access to these things, your partner may trust you quicker and easier than before. 

9. Take the opportunity to refresh your relationship.
Be grateful. Your spouse is deciding to remain with you after your betrayal. No matter how angry, petty, or unpredictable they get, they have shown a great love for you and, in many cases, a great strength of character in choosing to try to trust you again. Give your partner respect and gratitude for this decision. Appreciate the second chance—both initially and periodically over the next few years. Remembering what happened from time to time not only will solidify the hard work you did with your partner to recover, but will also help you avoid making a bad choice again in the future. 

10. NEVER cheat again. Third chances are much rarer than second chances.

Used with Permission 

Weekend Recap

Friday - work til 6 pm- another super busy day... it has been so stressful for the few days  last week.. the dealership ( I am an appointment coordinator for a car dealership) isn't happy with the few appointments that has been coming in, so we have been pushing out a lot of calls looking for appointments, please send some good luck to me that we can stay on this dealership. 

After I got off work we went for Chinese food, it is becoming a family date night, we got home just in time because it got super cold and there was ice every where, there were a lot of car accidents. 

I came home watched a lil hockey, but more Grey's, we went to bed just after midnight

Saturday- We stayed in bed til around 11- then was really lazy, did the basic tidy up... and watched some Netflix.. we had a bank appointment with Brooke for 1:30 so we were in town by then, then went to Walmart and went shopping for some food... came home took a nap ( I love my saturday afternoon nap), after I woke up, I made pizza for dinner, then I made a apple pie and a lasagna for sunday - then talked to my friend from work and watched Grey's #addicted 

Sunday-Happy Birthday to the best Momma ever 

 up at 7 am ( sigh) to go set up for service, I cannot wait until we have a building for our church and we no longer have to set up and tear down. 

We had friends over for sunday lunch- i had lasagna, caesar salad and garlic bread, the apple pie was for dessert- I was so full. 

My sister sent me this picture 

Hubby then decided to make 2 big pots of chilli- had friends over after PM service- now its almost 1 am and I am still up writing this.. 

Have a blessed week :) 

Every Bitter Thing Is Sweet- Review

Wow, talk about an amazing book. What this author does is take you through her walk with the Lord, during probably the most trying times of her life.

She struggled with infertility, then God lead her to adopt 4 children, and all of the ups and downs that God took her through to reveal Himself to her, through her, and to walk closer to Him than she ever knew possible. And, like all of us, the closer she gets, then she realizes that her journey is just beginning.

Now, that is just about the simplest description ever, and I know it. However, it is very, very difficult to explain this book, simply because of the depth and breadth of this book, you just have to get it and buy it for everyone you know to truly understand it.

This is a "meat" book - not something that you just casually grab and read, this is a book that you need to sit and study and let it speak to your heart. This author really puts her thoughts down in such a way that you can really see the Father's heart through her writing and her walk with Him. Golly, I've never read anything this thorough! She literally turns herself inside out so everyone can see what an awesome God we serve

I was given this book in exchange for my honest review.

Confessional Friday

Linking up with Leslie for another Confessional Friday 

Another week has passed rather quickly. 

I am hoping next week is better for me, work wise. 

I confess to you 

1) Computer Issues have gotten the best of me ( work computer)... we all need mac books, then programs won't crash like this one does. 

2) I am hoping we get the snow storm we are supposed to get, 20-30 cms- 11 inches... I just hope Brooke is home safe and hubby can stay home too. 

3) I have been having some weird cravings- Chinese food, subway, cheesecake ( No I'm not pregnant)... 

4) we are trying to decided where to go for vacation, but this year might be a stay cation- there are places here I wanna see, we are also buying a new house so we need to 

5) New blog design is being created- so cannot wait to show you all

 

6) This past summer for the first time, I got to hang out with a blogger friend, we had such a great time.. if you want a new blog to follow and a new friend, check out : http://www.dreamsandcolour.com

 

W4W-The 4 Secrets to Having a Spectacular Marriage

To uplift women and encourage them to keep going in their marriage and to love their spouse unconditionally 

The 4 Secrets to Having a Spectacular Marriage

 What do couples who describe their marriages as spectacular do differently than those who describe their marriages as simply so-so? The differences are quite small, actually. "When we look at happy couples, we see that great marriages are not the result of hours of hard work," says relationship researcher Terri L. Orbuch, Ph.D., who followed 373 couples for over 22 years as part of a marriage study funded by the National Institutes of Health. "It's small changes in behavior and attitude that can transform your relationship." In her new book, 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great, Orbuch shares the steps you can take to marital greatness.

Understand Each Other's Needs

 "The main reason marriages break up is not conflict, communication problems, or sexual incompatibility," Orbuch says. "It's frustration — the day-to-day disappointment of the gap between what you expect and how your partner acts — that is most damaging." To diffuse that frustration, share your expectations with each other. Maybe you desire more affection and he craves more relaxed couple time. "And be sure to check in with your partner once a year, as added pressures or life changes can create new expectations," Orbuch says.

Show Him Some Love

 Husbands whose wives give them affirmation — those words and gestures that show they are appreciated, respected, and loved — are twice as likely to describe themselves as happily married. And men may need affirmation more than women, Orbuch's research showed. "Women are constantly receiving flattery from friends and even strangers who say, 'Love your outfit!'" she says. "But men don't get that recognition." Can you imagine a passerby stopping your husband to compliment him on how well his tie matches his shirt? Not gonna happen — which is why men rely on that attention from their wives. Luckily, there's another payoff to your flattery: He's more likely to return those loving deeds back to you 

Take 10

  A weekly date night is always recommended as a way to reconnect, but sometimes all you need is a few minutes. "I call this the 10-Minute Rule: Take 10 minutes a day to talk about anything — except for kids, responsibilities, or chores," Orbuch says. Throw out Mom's old advice about how an air of mystery keeps the flame alive: Orbuch's research showed that 98 percent of happy couples say they intimately understand their partners. And knowing your spouse intimately isn't always about engaging in heavy conversations: Anything that helps you learn something new will bring you closer, Orbuch says. You can bond over why you think your dog is the smartest one on your block or which superpower you'd want most. You'll get to know each other's inner world and strengthen your bond of happiness.

Focus on the Good

 The best way to make your relationship better is to work at fixing what's wrong, right? Nope. "The most effective way to boost fun and passion is to add positive elements to your marriage," Orbuch says. "That positive energy makes us feel good and motivates us to keep going in that direction." This doesn't mean that you can't feel — or talk about — anything negative, but "pretend you are weighing your interactions on a scale," she says. "If you want a happier relationship, the positive side needs to far outweigh the bad." The more you honor the love and joy in your bond, the sooner you'll transform your marriage into one that is truly great.

6 Ways to be your spouse's best friend

6 ways to be your spouse's best friend 

1. HAVE FUN TOGETHER. Don’t just do the work together or raise kids together ... do the fun together too!

2. GET EXCITED ABOUT THE THINGS THEY GET EXCITED ABOUT. If it isn’t necessarily your ‘cup of tea’, so what! Try a sip! You may just like it. If you husband loves baseball ... take an interest in it. If you wife likes gardening ... take an interest in it.

3. KNOW THEIR WEAKNESSES ... AND LOVE THEM ANYWAY. Isn’t that what best friends are for? “A friend loves at all times…” (Proverbs 17:17).

4. PRAISE THEM. Make them feel good about themselves. Would you want to spend time with someone who only makes you feel worthless and insecure? Certainly not. So, affirm your spouse's best qualities. Celebrate their wins.

5. EXTEND GRACE AND FORGIVENESS. Even the best of friends have a bad day, say a hurtful things or disappoint us in some way. Offer the grace in those moments that you’d want in return. If you want a friendship that lasts, a marriage that endures, you must forgive both big and small.

6. PUT THEM FIRST. Don’t let your spouse just be one of your friends. Don’t just let your spouse be a best friend. Make them your most important friend. Your relationship with your spouse should come before any other relationship in your life, short of your relationship with the Lord.

Weekend Recap

Friday:
Worked til 6 pm, then I took my hubby on a date- he has been working so hard as of late on the project going live, took him to Montana's for a steak

It sure was yummy 

The roads were very snow covered and slippery, we probably stayed home but we made it safe and sound. 

Saturday:

Needed to do a little grocery shopping and some shoe shopping for hubby- buying shoes for me is the worst ;) Sorry honey ;) 

We had friend over on Saturday evening for some food and mexican train game- it was fun but I took no pictures. 

Stayed up far to late watching Grey's Anatomy- I am so addicted to that show and I really didn't think I was going to enjoy it, but I truly do. 

Sunday:

Had both services today, for once there was no storm, we did go to A&W for lunch, we needed to take Brooke for a play date so we needed to feed her first, we didn't want to drive the 15 mins home, then back again. 

One of my friends and I were matching today 

That about does it for me for this weekend, Off to watch Heartland and then some grey's. 

Have a blessed week 

Come back tomorrow for the beginning of my new blog and the marriage posting 

Confessional Friday

Linking up with Leslie


I Confess

1) the two week break I took over Christmas was super nice, but I really missed my blog, is that weird.. it felt like a piece of my daily life was missing.  as much as breaks are needed, it was so nice to come back

2) I am pain free for the first time in 2 days, I spent all day yesterday at the hospital, needing medications for pain- I wish I could trade in this bladder for a new one

3) Looking forward to hanging out with friends tomorrow night, they are coming over to play games and eat yummy food :)

4) I am excited for a date with my hubby tonight, it has been so long since we have had a date and i really miss him