Week 8 - self control

{To Inspire and Encourage}

For the next few weeks I want to share a little study about the Fruit of the Spirit. 

^{Week Eight: SELF CONTROL}

Why should we use self-control? Self-control is a life skill that we all need to define, practice, use, and internalize. We use self-control because it makes us feel good about ourselves. Rather than giving children external rewards for using their self-control, make it known that they are using their self-control to make themselves feel good.


Make a list of the positives and negatives in your life. Write down a list of which areas of your life are suffering and which are prospering. Focus on the essentials in order to keep the list brief.

Research the area in which you are lacking control. Read books or articles about the area you are having difficulty with.

Gradually increase your ability for self-denial. Start small by challenging yourself to control your behavior for a short period of time. For example, if you are addicted to television, try turning it off for one day.

Think about what you want to accomplish. Begin each day by visualizing the end result of your efforts. Imagine yourself healthier, happier, and more confident.  

Marriage Monday- Meet Michelle and Nathan

Welcome to Marriage Monday- I love Michelle's story, it is a real story and it makes me get teary eyed. You can visit Michelle right here . 

______________________________________

Once upon a time there was a single, teenage mother. She searched high and low for true love, and often looked in the wrong places. There were a few times when she thought she found the love she was looking for, but to her disappointment, she was let down time and time again. As this teenage mom grew into a twenty-something mom, she continued her search for the best husband, and father for her son, that she could find. The journey was long and tiresome, and she had given up hope many times.

One cool fall day, it happened. She met a man who re-defined what love meant to her. She met a man who made her understand what love really was. This man taught her how to be in a healthy and loving relationship, and he makes her smile every day. This is the beginning of their love story.

I was 24 years old when I met my soon to be husband. A friend at work suggested I try an online dating site. I was skeptical. I had been down this road before and met some real weirdoes. I had some serious doubts about the quality of the online dating scene in St. Louis around 2010. But, being the true romantic that I am, I gave it a go. I met a few guys that I had short conversations with. I even met one in person at a local Starbucks, but he was kind of odd and we never talked again. I had regrets about joining this dating site.

I always wanted to date a guy that was older than me. I had never considered dating someone younger. I was under the false premise that older men were more mature. I needed a mature man. After a few weeks on this site, I felt that I was out of luck and no one looked appealing. I decided to make a bold move and expand my search to include men that were *gasp* two years younger than me. That’s when I spotted the profile of a cute, young guy named Nathan. I noticed on his profile that we had both read the same funny book “Shit My Dad Says”. I sent him a message about how much I liked the book and waited for his response. To my surprise, he wrote back and we hit it off from there. After a few email exchanges, I gave him my phone number and waited for him to call.

He never called. I waited and waited and I never heard from him. I knew it, online dating was a waste of time. I decided to send him one last message to see if I could find out why he never called. I quickly found out he never called because I had typed the wrong phone number into the message. Oooops! I looked over the message I sent him and he was right, I transposed a few numbers. Mystery solved. He called. We texted. We scheduled our first date.

Our first date was in mid-November. I decided that it would be best for us to spend the evening at a gathering at my good friend’s home. I figured having back up would be nice in case he turned out to be a serial killer. I put on a black dress, patterned stockings and tall boots. I did my hair perfectly and had a bottle of wine in the refrigerator. I cleaned my house, arranged a sitter and waited for him to arrive. From the minute I saw him, he took my breath away. He was tall and handsome, with dark hair and blue eyes. He was well dressed and had the best smile. After talking for a while, I was smitten. I had never met anyone so kind and well mannered. We left my house and went to the party.

He opened doors for me. No one had opened a car door for me. Ever. He was polite and talkative with my friends. He even helped clean up after the party. He told me I was beautiful. We kissed for the first time that night. We were outside, attempting to light a fire pit to roast marshmallows. We were talking and laughing, and he went in for the kiss. It was perfect. We never did get the fire pit going. That night he told me how much he liked me and asked me to be exclusively his girlfriend. I was over the moon and told him “yes”.

We went back to my house that night. He was such a gentleman; he never tried anything besides kissing me. We stayed up laughing and talking and kissing. I finally fell asleep cuddled in his arms. And that was it; I had fallen head over heels for this man. We were never apart after that. We have an ongoing joke with friends that we met and he never left. And that’s pretty accurate. I never sat at home and wondered when he would call. I never wondered how he really felt about me or if he liked me as much as I liked him. I knew. I knew because he showed me he cared about me every day. He never left me wondering or waiting.

My son absolutely adored Nathan from the moment they met. My son was 10 and quite mischievous. Nathan let him play and joke with him and they had fun together. My heart still melts when I hear them laughing from the other room. For a single mom, it was such an incredible moment for me to know that I had found such a wonderful man to be a father and role model for my son.

Our timeline continues on like this: in 2011, Nathan proposed to me (I said “yes”) and we were married in 2012. We found out that we were pregnant with our daughter in 2013 and she should arrive in August of 2014. I have to say, this has been an eventful and amazing four years! I could write pages upon pages about my husband and how much I adore him. But I will wrap this up with a few final thoughts.

This post is about the beginning of me and my husband’s love story. It is about the very beginning of what has turned out to be an incredible marriage and an incredible life. I am so thankful that I get to spend the rest of my life with him. He has made me feel loved in a way that no one ever has before. He tells me every day how much he loves me and I know he has unconditional love for our son and our daughter. I read once that the greatest gift a father can give to his children is to love their mother. I was looking at my husband the other night and that quote came to my mind. I feel so secure in our love. I am grateful that he will show our children how to love by loving me.

Weekend Recap

Jot Note form because Im to miserable and in pain tonight 

Friday:

-hubby came home with Roses- 36 to be exact

- slept most of the day because I didn't sleep much the night before as I ended up in the hospital with a serious allergic reaction to something used in the operating room, it was very scary.

-Resting, sleeping and more resting for the day

Saturday

- slept most of the day away again- they say sleep is good for healing :p

- I went to a graduation banquet because the student who used to live with us was graduating and his parents couldn't be there so he invited us to go along and we did, it was nice

So Proud of him 

Sunday: 

we had service with the McCurah's- she is a christian councillor, they are both here for the week, she is holding some counselling sessions for some people who wanted to talk to her, I think it will be good for her. 

- after PM service- we had friends over for chilli, it was the last chilli of the year, the weather is to warm now... 

I have to praise on my hubby here for a min

he has been so incredible this week while I am recovering, he has cooked food, got me EVERYTHING I have wanted, would't let me do to much, wouldn't let me of the bed without helping me, would not leave me alone for 5 mins, always making sure I had everything I wanted/needed, he is  worth everything to me, not just for what he does, but what he is , we celebrate 1 years of marriage next weekend. 

Happy 23 to the most Incredible Brother

I remember all too well the night mom told us, we were getting a new sibling, I remember what we were doing ( sitting at the dinner table), I remember what we were eating ( bbq pork), i remember how upset I was that I was getting another "sister"- both Rachel and I didn't want another sister, we wanted a brother but we didn't think we were going to get one, so we cried for a long time. 

Then you were born and your first few hours, you fought for life, we were so worried... the day you came home, we made a real party for your home coming, because you are so incredible and well deserved. 

You make us laugh with your jokes, your funny text messages, your humour, yet you make us proud of your accomplishments... your degree, your hard working, and I know the future holds nothing but great things for you. 

You have an adorable Niece who loves you so much, she knows how incredible you are. 

I have no idea how it happened but my brother turned into a man.  I’m not speaking of his age, but of his character.  He has so much character.  I’m not exactly sure where he learned it but he has all of the strength, humor, wisdom, and patience that it takes to be one of the good guys.  There is no other way to describe him anymore than to say that he is, most definitely, a man.

A good man. A solid man.  The type of man you want in your life.

And I’m lucky enough to call him my brother.   

We love you 

xo

Confessional Friday

Linking up with Leslie

It is Friday again and I Confess

1) I have had a rough week with Dr's, surgeries, needles, gross food, nurses- I got home on Thursday and ended up going back in just after midnight on Friday with an allergic reaction, my entire face was swollen-they were worried about it being a Staph Infection, but it seems to be just a allergic reaction to something used in the operating room... I'm glad to be home and recovering 

2) one incision hurts a lot but 2 like I have is excruciating. I am so glad today I can rest and finally shower 

3) My Bladder is working like NEVER before :p

4) Tomorrow night we have a graduation party for the student who used to live with us, he invited us to go because his parents cannot be there, I hope I feel ok to go. 

What's on your mind today 

Truthful Thursday- My top blogs that I follow

If you want to find out more about Truthful Thursday, head over here 

9) The top blogs that I check daily are: 

Wifessionals                 In This Wonderful Life                 Kelly's Korner

A Blonde Ambition      After Eleven                                 

Wifessionals- always always post the perfect post at the right time, its like she knows what I need to hear and read, she has the sweetest baby girl and they are all around beautiful family. I pray for them daily 

In This Wonderful Life- I have been following her life since she found out her first baby was going to be born with a heart defect, I fell in love with this family, now she has boy/girl twins that are the cutest in the entire world. 

Kelly's Korner- I started following her on the birth of her first baby, 5 years ago, I prayed for baby Harper every day, now she is healthy and one of the sweetest lil ladies, her sister Hollis has the most adorable smile. Kelly- is an inspiration for me. 

A Blonde Ambition- I do not remember how I "met" Leslie, but she is def a person I love so much, she is a mommy and a wife, and also the best fashion blogger I ever knew. 

After Eleven- Remember saying" When I grow up I want to be like.." Well I want to be like Whitney, she is a momma, and a wife, she always seems like she has it together, her love for Jesus shines bright thru her blog, and any emails we have sent, makes me love her more and more

SO stop right now and go visit these lovelies <3 

Week 7 - Faithfulness

{To Inspire and Encourage}

^{For the next few weeks I want to share a little study about the Fruit of the Spirit.} 

^{Week Seven: FAITHFULNESS}

there are many types of Faithfulness but today I am going to talk about
Being faithful to your spouse

You took the walk to the altar, why not trust them completely and only give your heart and body to him/her.
Here are some tips I found

Agree upon trusting one another. Once you have taken your vows, don't do anything to break that trust.
Accept the fact that you are no longer single. No, you may not come and go as you please, no matter how much that may rankle.
Understand that your spouse is not attempting to put you on a leash. It's simply a matter of honoring your commitment, and of letting your spouse know when to start worrying.
Wear your wedding ring at all times. Avoid taking the ring off in most situations, even if your friends tell you to. Some exceptions are when playing sport, washing the dishes or if it could be damaged or cause you injury on the job. Do remember to put it back on straight away!
Nourish your intimacy with your spouse. If either of you is experiencing problems with intimacy, talk it through – and the earlier, the better. Being intimate through loving gestures, hugs, kisses and sexual relations is a vital part of keeping the two of you bonded.
Don't stir up trouble where there isn't any. Doing hurtful things to see how your spouse will react is a bad idea.
Avoid even the appearance of wrongdoing. If you meet with someone who tries to come on to you and maybe even who is attractive to you, don't panic. Simply show no interest and say it clearly to that person. 
Tell any person who tries to lure you into an entanglement with them that you're not interested, period. Don't give a half-hearted "Gee, I'm really attracted to you, but I'm married" response. 
Take your spouse with you. If you know you'll be in a situation where you can't avoid a person who keeps coming on to you, take your spouse along. Knowing your partner is watching will keep you in line, and hopefully will deter any questionable acts on the part of the other person.
Leave the situation. It doesn't matter whether it's a job or a circle of friends. If you've tried your best to put the stops on the interest someone has in you - and worse yet, if you have started to return those feelings, you have to leave the situationimmediately.
Stay home. Studies have shown that men who cheat start spending time away from home, such as working late at the office, going out for drinks after work, etc
Make plans for your future together and revise these plans regularly. Be sure to not only plan, but to also do the exciting and amazing things you have planned together. 
Communicate! If you are feeling pushed away, due to lack of attention or contribution. Communicate those feelings to your spouse. 

Eve of Surgery

It is the Eve of my surgery AGAIN- You can read the first Eve of Surgery here

I will be going to sleep at 8:00 am tomorrow morning, it may not be a long surgery but ya never know and ya have to be prepared.
I trust my doctor completly though so I know I am in good hands.

that being said, my mom asked me how I was feeling about it.. off course I am scared, worried of what may be found...
well it is something that I have needed done for 2 years, I am ready to get this party started.

I will be off work for a bit so hoping lots of blogging gets done

I will update when I can

Thank you for your prayers, well wishes and Get Well Soon's
:)

You make me smile

Vacation 2014

I am so thrilled to tell you about our Vacation Plans this year..

 

We have never gone out of the country as a family of 3, Andrew and I have gone, I have gone alone but this year we are taking our little lady..

 

We leave

May 17 and drive to Vermont- staying for night one

May 18- We are crossing into Ontario to visit some friends - stay the ngiht

May 19- We are in Indiana to see friends- stay the night

May 20- We go on to Minnesota

May 24- Andrew's Birthday

 

We are driving, it is going to be so much fun.

I am excited to see my inlaw family, for Brooke to meet those cousins there and for us to hang out and have some down time with some family and new friends.

 

My Husband's family mainly live in Minnesota so we can see 99% of them while there.

 

It is going to be a great time, I would love to meet any of you that live in or near the area, drop me a line if you would like a visit :)

 

Weekend Recap- Easter Version

Friday:

Good Friday

Jesus died for us, but thankfully three days earlier he rose. 

We left home around 12:30 and we drove to my aunt's house which is about two hours away.. 

we stopped at the hospital to see this little guy 

Jaxon Wesley was born April 17- his mom and I grew up together, I spent the afternoon there with them while hubby and Brooke went off exploring.  

Then we went to the Keg for dinner, hubby keeps saying he wanted to take us so tonight we went and oh my Land, it was incredible... I ate my first steak, I am not a steak person but this was divine. 

This dessert was called "Billy Miner Pie" ~ Amazing!

We got to my aunts around 7 pm

played with my cousin's baby boys, we had so much. 

saturday:

we decided we did not want the normal Easter dinner, so we decided this year we would have the first BBQ of the season- my aunt went all out.. there were all kinds of salads, steak, hot dogs, more salads, it was soooo absolutely amazing. 

I made this 

 I will share the recipe if anyone would like it. Such a nice hot summer evening recipe. 

We came home around 4 pm

is it weird that I love to hold my hubby's hand while we drive, we chat or just sit there, listen to music or the radio but I love the closeness of being in the car with my loves. 

sunday:

I Love Easter so much, it is my fav time of the year- new birth, new life and a new hope. 

We went to church this morning, we had a lot of visitors.. here are some pictures from today 

My Mom gave Brooke this Easter tree last year and it was the perfect centre piece for the day. 

After the Easter 'bunny' came- she got practical things this year, she is getting to old for fun easter presents like bubbles, sidewalk chalk etc, so this year she got:

*Clothes

*Notebook

*sketch book

*hair bows- we love our hair bows

*chocolate 

*M &M's

and there were a couple of other things but i can't remember and i don't want to walk down stairs 

We had 28 deer in our front yard today, here you can see 3.. I really like them being around

I went to service tonight and also had to serve in the Cafe, it was nice to work with some lovely ladies

My Girlie 

This Lady is my "other" mother- she is always just a text or a phone call away, she has taken me under her wing and I love her so much. 

My Girl and I- Easter is also the day we first bring out the white shoes, skirts  etc. 

Our Pastor sang a beautiful song this morning

Here is the link 

Tomorrow is a holiday as well and we have plans with a girl friend. 

How was your weekend

Good Friday

It's 

Friday but 

Sunday 

is coming

This is my all time favourite Easter song

Confessional Friday

May you all be blessed on this Good Friday

I am linking up with Leslie

&

Today I am confessing...

1) I am excited to get out of town for a few days to just relax and do a little of nothing, we are going to my Aunt's house about 2 hours away, i am happy to hang out with my cousin and her adorable baby boys.

2) I am thrilled to have (today)Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday off- us govt employees gets an extra long weekend :)

3) I have yet to buy Brooke some things for her Easter basket... sometimes I fail as a mother

4) It feels like this week was dragged on and on... but alas here it is, the weekend.

5) So thankful for my sister in law in Newfoundland, I ordered a bunch of clothes online and it got delivered to an old address I had 5 years ago, Why, no one knows.. she went and got it and re-sent it to me 

6) I love my house- last night we had 12 Robin in the front years and 11 deer in the back yard, I love it so much 

A story to tug your heart

Today I want to share a story that hit close to home for me after my major lung surgery in 2010, we need to get this story out there and share it with as many people as we possibly can.

Meet Heather

In 2005 at the age of 36, just 3 1/2 months after the birth of her only child Lily, Heather was diagnosed with malignant pleural mesothelioma. At the time of her diagnosis, she was given 15 months to live, unless she took drastic measures. Well, here she is, 8 years later, minus one lung, a rib and half of a diaphragm, but alive and well. She is a cancer survivor, not only surviving, but thriving. Her and her husband Cameron Von St. James are passionate about mesothelioma awareness and patient advocacy. She was given a second chance at life, and she wants to give back as much as possible. Inspiring others, and giving them hope is what she loves.

1)How has this illness changed your life?

It changed it on an almost foundational level. Everything I knew, everything was, got torn away from me the minute I got the diagnosis. It all at once is the worst thing that every happened to me, and the best. So much good has come of it. I no longer care about the petty things, and am much more appreciative of the every day miracles.

2)What symptoms did you have

It started out with flu like symptoms, fever, heaviness in my chest, then came shortness of breath along with extreme fatigue and weight loss. I was losing 5-7 lbs a week.

3)How long did you have the symptoms before diagnosed

I didn't wait long… probably about a month from the onset of the first symptom.. I went downhill quite fast.

4)How can people know if they may have this?

If you think you were exposed to asbestos, a chest x ray or CT scan is a good start.. Mesothelioma usually presents itself as sore muscles, like a pulled shoulder muscle from the fluid build up in the chest cavity..along with fatigue, shortness of breath and sudden weight loss.

5)How can we support you?

By sharing my story, and video, and donating your social media status for the victims. .. Awareness is where it all starts.

6)What treatment is there

In the US treatment depends on your diagnosis, and what stage you are. Surgery is the best treatment, followed by chemotherapy, and radiation if needed. If surgery is not an option, palliative care is your best course.

7)Does the treatment pose any challenges for their condition?

Getting one lung removed is no easy task.. it changes everything. The chemo is well tolerated by most people, and radiation, depends on the type and how much, as to how it affects you. I'm not a medical person, and only know my personal experience… These questions might be better answered by an oncologist who specializes in mesothelioma.

8)What hidden blessings came with the disease?

All of the amazing people I've had the good fortune to meet because of this disease. My friend Ted says Mesothelioma is the shittiest way to meet the best people. (you can edit that if you want to!! Don’t want to offend anyone!!) My life is so much richer and deeper because of the wonderful people in the mesothelioma community… they are our greatest asset.

9)Have you ever been discriminated against due to your condition?

Not that I can remember. People are usually shocked to learn I have only one lung.

10)Has it affected your personality

It made me less selfish, and more open about my life. I used to be quite self absorbed… that went out the window when I got my diagnosis… I do this for the many meso warriors who are fighting.. awareness and prevention are key. It isn't about me.. its about the entire community.

 

 

Check out Heather's awareness page right here

Truthful Thursday- Cats/Dogs or Neither

If you want to find out more about Truthful Thursday, head over here 

8) Cats, Dogs or neither

Growing up I always had a fur animal, one year my best friend gave me a kitten for Christmas, I named her 'Christmas', 

I had her until one week before my wedding, when she passed away. 

When I worked with the police officers, they rescued an adorable lil guy and I adopted him

His name was Benji- he was the most amazing little guy, then he suddenly got very sick and he passed away, that was the last furry animal for me, my hubby had a lot of allergies and we decided that we would stay away from the furry animals.

Right now our pets are some adorable fish that swim happily all day and night long, we love our fish and to us they make great pets <3 

Wednesdays for Women- Week 5- Kindness

{To Inspire and Encourage}

For the next few weeks I want to share a little study about the Fruit of the Spirit. 

^{Week Five: KINDNESS}

Kindness is a behavior marked by ethical characteristics, a pleasant disposition, and concern for others. It is known as a virtue, and recognized as a value in many cultures and religions 

Remember growing up when your mom told you to share and be kind to your friends….

I love when I do random acts of kindness for the person in the drive thru next to me, or keeping the door opened for the next person, going to visit a sick friend in the hospital, inviting a friend for dinner, taking a friend to a movie, having tea with someone who has very little friends or no family. 

There is a random acts of kindness day, where we need to kill them with kindness - Feb 17 is random acts of kindness day, i love this day each year,the day we make that lonely stranger smile, paying for someone’s coffee when they have no roof over their head and they live on the streets all night long, bring them a blanket, give them some food...

so will you go and do a random act of kindness for someone, after all- 

Kindness makes the World go around. 

Kindness is a behavior marked by ethical characteristics, a pleasant disposition, and concern for others. It is known as a virtue, and recognized as a value in many cultures and religions 

Remember growing up when your mom told you to share and be kind to your friends….

I love when I do random acts of kindness for the person in the drive thru next to me, or keeping the door opened for the next person, going to visit a sick friend in the hospital, inviting a friend for dinner, taking a friend to a movie, having tea with someone who has very little friends or no family. 

There is a random acts of kindness day, where we need to kill them with kindness - Feb 17 is random acts of kindness day, i love this day each year,the day we make that lonely stranger smile, paying for someone’s coffee when they have no roof over their head and they live on the streets all night long, bring them a blanket, give them some food...

so will you go and do a random act of kindness for someone, after all- 

Kindness makes the World go around. 

Marriage Mondays

I have been asked by several people if I would do a series on Marriage, so I thought about it and I felt led to do this.  It will begin April 28. 

I am going to post some Marriage advice, my love story, marriage tips, date ideas, ways to keep your marriage alive etc. 

Would you like to help me with this?

I am looking for some people to share your Love Story with us? 

I would appreciate it so much, drop me a line 

terrigrothe@gmail.com 

or leave your email in the comment section and I will get in touch with you.