1.30.2014

Confessional Friday- Getting to know you

Over at Leslie's blog today we are doing Confessional Friday a little differently, we are doing "Getting to know you" Edition.

Here is my answers:

1) Your Name: Terri, TL, Honey, mommy

2) Where are you from: I am from Newfoundland, Canada, currently residing in New Brunswick Canada

3) What do you do with your days: I work during the day for a telecommunications company as a billing and internal support specialist, during the night I carry the role of Wife and Mommy( MY two favourite jobs, I am the hospitality coordinator for our church and I am the president of my daughters school band, there is a lot of work but I love it, and some where in there I blog ;)

4) Tell us about your family ( Photos are great) : we are a happy family of 3, myself, husband and our "tween", we have a 10 year old beautiful baby girlie, she will always be my baby, i married my high school sweetheart who is my best friend, my soul mate and my love- he still gives me butterflies, we will be married for 12 years in May.


5) What are your dreams and goals: I would love to travel the world, never have to work again, blog full time and just relax and chill out. oh well, some day if I can win the lottery..  ;) I have always wanted to be a receptionist at a busy office where the days quickly pass and love my job, never know some day that job may be available.

6) Why did you start blogging: I started blogging because 18 months ago we moved away from our immediate family and closest friends, so I wanted them to have a place to see how much we were enjoying our move here and the happiness that came along with it.

7) Some Random Facts:
I am Boston Bruins fan
I collect penguins, keychains and notebooks
I fight an incurable disease called IC

How about you, tell me some things about you.

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1.29.2014

Wednesdays for Women- Meet Mindy and her struggle with PTSD


{To Inspire and Encourage}

Today I want to introduce you to my beautiful friend.. 


Hello Everyone,
It's Mindy from Simplicity Redesigned. Terri asked me if I would write a guest post for her blog again. I, of course, said count me in.....
What you are about to read is my life....
My struggles....
My own personal Hell....
From the inside looking out (Yes, I mean from my view of life) I am like most women, I am a survivor of life. We each have a burden, obstacle, cross that we bare that we are either attempting to or have already overcome. Something we may or may not want to talk about, accept, hide from, confront, etc. Sometimes we are lucky and the effects of what we have gone through are a distant memory for us. Ones that we have been able to learn from and move on from. Sometimes we are grateful for the lessons and sometimes we are left wondering why the lessons happened to us in the first place.  But we have all survived it none the less. Hopefully stronger then we were before the lesson took place.
I am an avid blogger, homeschooling mama to 2 of my 3 incredible daughters. I am a wife, friend, daughter and sister. I live in a beautiful home that I have been putting my love, sweat, tears and blood into, literally, for almost 8 yrs. I am an optimist, perfectionist with OCD tendencies, and proud of it all. I would rather laugh at my mistakes and learn from them, then cry and dwell on all that I have done wrong. There is however, ONE thing in my life that seems to be something that no matter how much I face off against it, no matter how much I fight to understand it, no matter how many years I go through therapy, it is still there....taunting me, affecting me in ways I never dreamt. It almost cost me my marriage more than once. It has made me question myself not only as a parent and wife but also a person almost daily.
It will be 4 yrs ago this month that my life was flipped upside down. My world shattered. My strength tested. My marriage tried, my effectiveness to be a parent called into question more then once. I will never be the same. Am I stronger for it? I am not so sure yet. Is there a cure for what I have? I am inclined to say no, although I have heard to the contrary.  I am a survivor of a form of PTSD. I call myself a survivor because I have spent the past 4 yrs fighting a battle and defining who I am. Everyday is a struggle to understand my triggers and what I need to do to stay one step ahead my PTSD. I am determined that although I have it, I will not be it's victim.
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When you think about PTSD, your first thought is military (soldier). Your second is rape / domestic abuse. Your third would be something like a car wreck or airplane crash. What you will not think about is the kind I have....Delayed Onset Chronic Medical PTSD. Try saying that 3 times fast!
My journey began shortly after the birth of my youngest daughter. I have a genetic blood mutation called Double or Compound MTHFR Heterozygous C677T and A1298C mutation. Basically it means that my blood LOVES to clot and that I have a REALLY hard time getting rid of toxins in my body. When I was pregnant with my daughter and even afterwards, I was on the HIGHEST blood thinners allowed. I knew that something was not right. I began to feel differently. Both physically and mentally. I could not go up the stairs without being winded, I could not go down the stairs without the same feeling. It was getting to the point that even moving a step was causing me to panic. At one point, I went to my doctor and said I was not sure what was going on, but I needed HELP! My hubby wanted to actually have me committed to a psychiatric hospital. My doc finally sent me for testing that revealed that I had I passed hundreds, if not thousands, of clots through my heart and into both of my lungs. One was the length of a pencil and the width of your pinky, leaving my lungs and heart now permanently damaged. I was sent to our local hospital before the tests were even finished via flashing lights, sirens, and a big boxy type truck with people looking almost as scared as I was. I left a really confused and scared hubby (I should also tell you that only 2 days prior he had a vasectomy and was only allowed to lift X amount of weight.) with our newest bundle of joy that he was NOT supposed to pick up in any way at the testing site. We had to call My Mom In Law (MIL for short) to come stay with us for the second time in 3 months. I was in the local hospital for about 2-3 days before I was then sent to a second hospital, because the local hospital had NO idea what to do with me and a little winter storm named Snowmagddon was about to hit us. I went to the second hospital via flashing lights, sirens, and a big boxy type truck with a different set of people looking almost as scared as I was. I was placed into ICU for 10 LONG days there. I spent them clinging to life literally. I remember several times begging for death to come so that I would stop hurting. The pain in my heart and lungs were incredible. I was on oxygen to breath and in and out of consciousness. I was subjected to test after test. I was finally wheeled out of one test and told to sign a paper as I would probably not survive the surgery I was being wheeled into immediately. I realized that I never got to say good bye to my daughters and my husband. I would never watch my children grow up. I would never help my oldest daughter get ready for prom or watch her walk across the stage as she graduated. I would never be here to help her pick where she would go to college. I would not be here to hold her hand and walk her through all that life would put her through. I had not finished getting her ready to face the world. My middle daughter was only in Kindergarten. I had not even begun to help her realize her potential and to follow her dreams. I would not be there as she discovered her dreams. And finally my youngest...she was only 3 months old. I would NEVER hear her voice, see her walk for the first time. Help her to grow tall and strong. All three would not be ready for me to leave them to face what the cruelty in life could throw at them. I had not taught them how to be positive and to fight for themselves. To be their own advocate in life. To be strong and independent. How to LOVE themselves and each other. How could I leave all this to my husband??? He was not going to do it right. I knew in THAT exact moment that I was not going to make it if I did not will it to be so. I would die on that table never doing everything that I needed to do to teach my daughters to be the people that they were meant to be....not the people I wanted them to be. I began to meditate and pray. I began to tell my body to HEAL. I asked The Universe to help me to know what to do to live. Not as I had been before this, but to live up to what I was supposed to be.
I survived the surgery. There were complications that left me weaker still. However, I began to heal.
The Governor of Maryland declared a state of emergency. The tiny storm I mentioned earlier had hit leaving 35 inches of snow in our area. The hospital was on lock down. And as luck would have it, that meant that those staff that were in the hospital were stuck in the hospital. No matter what! Great time for the flu to hit, huh??? But hit it did with a VENGEANCE through the ICU floor. Needless to say, once I was released from the hospital, within days, I got it. I was told DO NOT THROW UP! I would release the rest of the clots still in my lungs and my heart and lungs would not be able to handle it. It would either cause me to have a stroke or kill me. How do you NOT throw up? I did survive the flu / stomach bugs the first, second, third, plus times I got it. Each time I got it, it lasted about a week plus and it damaged my heart and lungs more. OMFG. THE. PAIN!!!! My incredible MIL moved in with us a third time so that I could finally heal.
About 6 months later, I got the flu / stomach bug again. This time though I was a little bit healthier. I could feel that I was mentally not right. I was feeling panic when ever my heart would race, if someone started to get a cold, etc. I hid it though. I was afraid my hubby would have me committed this time for sure. I did not understand what was happening.
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I started to focus on getting us healthy and keeping us that way. Not to an extreme of a SPOTLESS bleached house, but I was pretty damn close! In my mind, if you get sick, it lowers your immune system. Lowering your immune system means that you can get the flu. Getting the flu means my heart will ache and I will run the risk of passing another clot. It will damage my heart and lungs more. This time it may mean I will have a stroke or that it will kill me. I can not die yet. I am not done in this world. I have not seen or done all that I want to do.
This is what my mind thinks over and over again daily from the time school starts back until May when flu season is over with. I managed to hide it for almost 2 1/2 yrs. I fought back the panic attacks, the need to scrub things, pulling my kids out of all extra curricular activities.  Doing the simplest things and trying to hide whatever was going on from everyone....especially from my husband.
I finally found a therapist and I was diagnosed with Delayed Onset Chronic Medical PTSD. It was caused from my near death experience in the hospital with the blood clots. My triggers are not dark alleys, gun shots, violence. Mine is illness. Yep, bring a cold into my house and watch me pull out a can of whoop ass on you in about 5 seconds! It has happened 2x now. It was not pretty. Something I am not proud of doing.
Day to day is a struggle for me, even after a year plus of therapy.
I am constantly feeling guilty, ashamed, less than. I do my best to fight the depression that comes with PTSD and being a stay at home Mom that homeschools.
I know that I should be stronger and able to fight this. However, it is crippling. I am alone in this struggle. It is my weakness and I am not much for weakness.
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My family doctor thinks I am depriving my children a life. I know this from the comments she makes when I take them for their physicals. Needless to say, we go to the doctors office next to NEVER now! You know it is bad if I take us to a doctors office! ER is even worse! There are NO words to define the sheer TERROR I get from just pulling into the parking lot. How I tremble when I walk into the sliding doors. How my body temp rises causing me to sweat, the nerves that go across the tops of my shoulders and down the spine tingle with little pricks of pain, my stomach begins to twist and turn, my brain begins to go into overdrive with everything that will happen to me if I get sick or anyone else in my home.
Heaven help me if anyone in my family sneezes because Hell is too afraid to deal with me! My family could be sick with anything and they will NOT tell me they are sick. They will suffer through days of a sore throat before finally saying anything to me. At that point it is too late to do much of anything but watch as it runs it's course through the family one by one. This is what I have done to my family. They are all afraid to say anything to me when they feel at their worst.
As a mother, as a wife, as a person....this hits me harder then any fist ever could.
I can not watch the news or read any kind of news related to illness. Especially when it mentions the flu. I am so thankful we do not have satellite or cable TV anymore because the ads that they play this time of year are all geared to cold and flu.
We joined a brand new gym and I could not handle it. Too many germs. Too many people not taking care of themselves and wiping down the equipment after they use it. I tried to explain my fears to my family. My husband was less then supportive. There was a lot of fighting. In the end we quit the gym. The fights were not worth it for him anymore I guess. It was another notch against me.
My kids are not in extra curricular sports anymore in the fall, winter, or early spring.  This one really gets me. I look at my 2 youngest that are homeschooled, it KILLS me inside to no end that I can not do this for them. I tried this year. I almost signed them up for soccer. Hubby and I were going on our first vacation alone EVER. They would have either missed several practices or my poor MIL (who was watching them) would have had to figure out the schedule, where they meet, and which field for which kid. On top of that we would have had to volunteer for something on both the kids teams. She would have been responsible for that as well. We made the decision to skip it this year. It was not long until the emails started pouring in about 1/2 the teams not being able to make practices and games because of stomach viruses. This went on for weeks as it kept getting passed back and forth between the teams. All I could think of was THANK YOU! When we pulled my middle daughter out of public school, she lost all her friends. I mean as in they were not allowed to play with her anymore because she was homeschooled. I could not find any secular homeschool groups in the area that wanted anything to do with us. They are such a TIGHT knit community.
My oldest daughter is afraid to have any friends over to the house EVER again. I lost it on her 2x when she brought friends over that were sick. She has an auto immune disease that is rarely found in people her age. The PTSD kicked in hardcore with both of the friends. I was in awe that they would even want to go anywhere as sick as they were. Both actually laid around my house and were beyond miserable!
My hubby...Where to begin there??? PTSD has almost cost me my marriage. There is a part of me that still wonders if it will. He looks at me differently now. I am broken. I know it, he knows it. It irritates him a lot. My weakness and my inability to get over this. It happened to me 4 years ago. I wish that I could more than anyone knows.  He, like me, has no sympathy for the weak. He will tell his friends that he gets my PTSD, if they find out about it and that he is supportive of it. I think in his own way he thinks he is. But he really isn't. He gets easily PISSED at me over it. We rarely go anywhere together or talk anymore. My PTSD white elephant in the room, always there and no one wanting it. He thinks I should be able to get over this on my own without counseling. After a year plus in counseling he sees absolutely no improvements in my PTSD. WOW! I beg to differ there! If I bring up my PTSD, he shuts it down, dismisses it, ignores me, walks away, etc. The last time my oldest was sick, it took her 3 days to say something to me. I was apologizing to her, yet again, and what she could do to get relief when he said something to the effect of NO ONE in the house ever tells me when they are sick anymore and they never will. I get it. This is not what I wanted. When we went to Las Vegas, I began to have a panic attack as we were boarding the flight. I was listening to people cough and sneeze all through the line. There was no sympathy from him toward me. Only disapproval. I think that is what hurts the most. The one thing that makes it THAT much harder to deal with. The one person that is supposed to support me the most....doesn't.
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I am always afraid that I am one step from being committed or having my kids taken away from me. What am I doing to their thought processes? How bad am I screwing up my kids when they reach adulthood? These are questions I ask myself daily. The one thing that they will NEVER understand is how much I take everything they say, how they treat me, and how they act towards me in regards to my PTSD to heart. Every time I see disapproval, hurt, ignorance, etc, it is NOTHING compared to how I feel about myself in regards to my PTSD. 
I hate what PTSD has done to my life. What I have allowed it to do to me and my family. I hate the realization that this will never go away. I will always have PTSD. I will, however find ways to adapt to it and learn to relax as I go on through my life. I am hopeful of that. I know that the damage from 4 years ago goes way past the scar that constantly itches from the surgery to save my life. It has seeped into my family, into my soul. I know that I will never be the same.
I am tired of the eternal tears....
 Of being broken....
Of being shattered....
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1.28.2014

Ask Terri



What would you like to know about me, I am opening up the blog today for questions, I will try to be an open book for you, so ask away 

1.27.2014

Menu plan Monday


Sunday~ Chicken dinner/veggies/
Monday~ Shake n bake chicken/baked potato/corn
Tuesday~ Pulled pork/veggie casserole
Wednesday~ Hot dogs- extremely busy night
Thursday~Spaghetti /garlic bread
Friday~ Kitchen closed
Saturday~ Nachos

1.26.2014

Weekend Recap


Friday: 
I took the day of because I was still recovering from Food Poisoning- First time I have ever had it and I hope I never have it again, it is the worst sickness I have ever had- the pain made me cry literally, it was such hard pains. 
I did feel good for an hour- so I got up to clean my house a little bit... 
hubby came home and made nachos, I did eat a little bit, but it didn't taste good to me and I got sick again, it was a crazy sickness, Thankfully I had no bladder flare ups during this.. bc normally i would.
Later in the evening I was feeling a little better and I got up and made my niece some skirts, I was in a sewing mood and I was missing  her so I made them for her, they are pretty cute, here they are:



I know they aren't fancy but it is my first time. 

they are coming to visit in May and we always get pictures taken when they are here, so maybe I can make us matching outfits. 

Saturday
Woke up around 6 am, I guess all the sleep from the day before, I couldn't sleep anymore... 
I got up and had a glass of milk and  browsed online for a bit, then I went back to sleep til 10 or so, hubby had to work for a couple hours today, so Brooke and I made cinnamon buns, cleaned house, then we babysit my friends daughter while she went on a date, she is the cutest little thing

Brooke came down with a fever in the evening, now she has a head cold, my poor baby, hope she is better quickly.  I'm ready for summer, all the colds/flus etc. 

Sunday
We missed Sunday morning service because Brooke was really under the weather, I went PM with her but we didn't stay long, she took another fever, My poor baby. 

I am ready for summer to get here so the winter sickies are all gone

Have a great week

1.24.2014

This is a Blogger Giveaway Event. 
Bloggers will be given one free link with announcement post. Bloggers are expected to promote this giveaway thru their social media accounts at least twice a week. 
Please do not sign up, if you cannot commit. 
Please Sign Up Here! http://bit.ly/1dBoAKK 
For information regarding this event please contact Heather at mommyonlyhastwohands(at)gmail(dot)com

Confessional Friday


Today I Confess:

1) I am home from work today- battling Food Poisoning ( I assume), took sick suddenly yesterday after noon while at work, and haven't been able to leave the bathroom much at all 

2) I am very homesick today, I would love to take a trip home and see my family 

3) I am so excited for May 2014- the first 2 weeks my sister will be here, the last 2 weeks we are in Minnesota- very excited

4) I am excited because after some major cold weather, it is feeling like spring around here

What do you want to confess today

1.23.2014

Terri's Thursday Thoughts- Letter to my daughter


Dear Brooke, 

I wanted to start writing you letters because I know you read my blog so i wanted to write something to you. 

Being your mom is the greatest thing in my life after marrying your Daddy, you light up our lives each and every second of the day. 
You are so helpful, responsible and caring to everyone, you are an animal lover, wheter it be a spider with 2 legs or a 8 leg one, a bunny- a bird to a snake, you love them all, we have a lot of frogs around here and sometimes when it's raining they are everywhere and it hard to not drive over them, we try not to for your sake baby girl .

You are 10 now, it seems that last 10 years have flown by.....


1.21.2014

Wednesdays 4 Women - 13 Insights from 2013 - Guest Post

{To Inspire and Encourage}


I have never personally met Gill but she is my inspiration, I sign up to get her weekly emails about being fit, staying in shape and loving life, her emails always speak to me, so when she agreed to guest blog, I was stoked. 


Today is the day that I pack away Christmas in my house, for another year. This year Christmas was nothing short of magical, and I hope you all had a similar experience.

The past few days, I've done a lot of reflecting on what the year 2013 was for me. It was filled with the highest of highs, and some very difficult lows. Until 2013, I've never dealt with extreme stress. But incredible things came from that stress, and if you had told me a year ago I would be where I am right now, I never would have believed you.

"Growth occurs in chaos". I read that at a point in 2013 when I felt as if I was drowning, and it has stuck with me.

So, I want to post my thoughts today, my ramblings. Thank you for reading, thank you for your constant support, for your presence, your messages, your texts.


13 Insights from MY 2013:

1. Family is #1. It's simple - family is everything. Family comes ahead of anyone and everyone and you protect and support them always. If there is one thing that the mafia members in the movies do right, it's the unwavering love and support of the family unit. I'm so grateful for the support of family in 2013.


2. Think for yourself. DO NOT allow someone else to control your thoughts, your actions, your behaviours, and your opinions of others. You have a brain inside your head - use it.

3. Take the leap of faith. If you have a dream, make it happen. Don't listen to the doubters. Make things happen- but do it with class and dignity - that way no one will believe anything negative about you, because they can see the true you.

4. Say I love you. Say it often, say it when you mean it and when you feel it. Outside of my husband and kids, I spent many years where I found that difficult to say. I guess it was hard for me to open up that way. Now I make a point to say it when I mean it, to my siblings, my nieces and nephews, my in law family, and the amazing friends that mean so much to me.

5. Take vacations. I don't meant big, fancy, expensive vacation if they are outside of your means. I mean take a step back. And do it on a regular basis. Take time to spend quality time. In 2013 I travelled, I skied, I swam, I danced, I played sports, I had picnics - I finally woke up to the important things in life.

6. Current events - be aware of the news. Do not become consumed, but in order to make informed decisions, you must be aware of the world you live in. Hiding gets you nowhere.

7. Cook, and enjoy your food. It is my belief that having a relationship with food is a wonderful thing. But it must be a healthy relationship. Focus on sharing good food with good company. Don't binge, don't starve, don't overeat.

8. Show Gratitude. Every night before you sleep, think about the things TODAY that you are grateful for. Even if it has been a particularly trying day - there is always something to be grateful for. And as much as you may not want to focus on the good, do it. Trust me when I say it works.

9. Be silly. I try every day to have fun. Fun is my favourite thing. There is a story behind the family Christmas Card pic that I posted here. We tried for weeks to co-ordinate a family photoshoot with a photographer, but with work travel, etc, we just didn't get around to it before the holidays. But this is my favourite Christmas photo of all time. It was taken in my living room at about 8pm on a friday night when myself and my husband and kids had a spontaneous dance to Rudolph, and decided to take a selfie. Not only is my hair not done and I don't have any pretty make up - I hadn't yet showered since my morning run, and a subsequent busy day. But it's the MOMENT that counts.

10. Trust your gut. If something doesn't feel right. If you begin to question your own morals and how they fit into a particular situation, move on. Do not take on other people's mistakes or stresses. Live your own life. The only person you own anything to, is yourself.

11. Exercise daily. For me, this is just as important - or maybe even more important - for my mental health, as it is for my physical health.

12. Appreciate and be appreciated. Give appreciation often. I appreciate my family, my friends, my partner Heidi, our team, and every one of you taking time out of your busy day to read this. I sincerely do.

13. Be Proud. Every day, find something within yourself that you are proud of, and something that someone in your life has done, that you are proud of. In the past week, I reconnected with an old friend, and I'm so proud of everything she has done, is doing, and has the potential to do. Remember that we are all members of the human race - we all share this life, so let's support each other where we can.



2014 is ready for us, let's do this

xoxo
Gill


Visit Gill here

Facebook LBN


I am part of a fantastic group of ladies on face book, I'd like to give a shout out to some amazing ladies on there

Tami: Thank you for your beautiful soul, you do so much for our group, you are outstanding among thousands, we are blessed to have you in our lives. 

Kera: I cant say enough good about you, you inspire me to be a better momma, you are a fabulous momma to 2 gorgeous baby girls, you make the world a happy place just by being in it. 

Rosey: For all the comments you leave me, Thank you. I can always count on a comment from you and I appreciate that

Heather: We don't chat a lot, but I do read your blog and I always get inspired to write more from the heart, thanks for being you 

Kerrie: I really enjoy reading your travel adventures and reviews. You seem to have it all together, I want to be more like you. 

Jesseny: The woman who inspires me to loose weight, to work out, to exercise and to eat well, this will be the year that I do that. Hugs to you girl

Monica: momma of 2 beauties, she has her kids dressed gorgeous all the time and takes stunningly gorgeous pictures, may 2014 be a great year for you 

Chani: Beautiful person, momma of 3, I enjoy reading your reviews, your every day to day blog writings, Thanks for being apart of LBN 

Jennifer: has a gorgeous blog, I am all about color and she has that, it is so neat and today, easy to read. one of my fav blogs to read. Keep up the good work Momma

Cheryl: She is the type of person that we can all learn from- her tag line for her blog is "Exploring the world with kids, without losing your mind or money", Im all about saving money, I enjoy what I read here  

1.20.2014

Menu Plan Monday



Sunday~ Turkey dinner
Monday~Hot turkey sandwiches/baked fries
Tuesday~ Fajitas/mexican rice
Wednesday~Pasta / garlic bread
Thursday~ burgers/fries
Friday~ Kitchen Closed
Saturday~ finger foods/wings

1.19.2014

Weekend Recap


Friday
 Thank Goodness Friday is Here
I worked til 2 pm, then went to the hospital for treatment- it went well, had another nice nurse do it so its all good, hubby sent me a text around 11 am and said he was taking me on a date if I didn't eat out for lunch as well, { I usually eat out for lunch on Fridays}.. we came home from treatment, Brooke was invited to her friends for a hockey game and they invited her to spend the night with them, so perfect time for a date, we took a nap together, he isn't feeling well and treatment exhausts me, so we got up around 7 pm and went to Blue Canoe for dinner, they always have such good food there, I got this:
I love pulled pork and they have the best yet.
Hubby had steak and eggs { always gets breakfast here}
I have not seen anyone who likes breakfast like he does, he can get that at home but has to have it anyway. 
We came home and watched some hockey together, then we cleaned the house together ( exciting date eh) and then went to bed and i was asleep in no time. 

Saturday 
We slept til around 10 am, we needed to be in town just after 11 am to get Brooke so we quickly showered etc, we went to get Brooke and then had to do some shopping.. went to walmart and got groceries, $268 later.. but its because I have started Menu planning again, so I needed to buy some basic things to make it easier from here on out, then Brooke had a letter to mail to her pen pal so we did that, went to another grocery store to get some wings and pizza for dinner.. 
went to Michaels and a few other stores to get a present for my Cara Box , i am excited to get it out to her now, just have to finish something, can't go into details here in case she reads it :P 
Came home, put groceries away, made this 
Chocolate Cream Pie 
Worked on some laundry, then got tired and took a quick nap, my back has been hurting me a lot the last few days.. {YES, I love my naps}
At 6:00 pm, we had a Leader Planning session at the Pastor's house, Brooke went to stay with a friend and it was good, we planned out the next year, have some fun things coming up. 
Hubby had to go set up for service tomorrow, so Brooke and i came home and i started lunch for Sunday, we are having company and some yummy food. 

Sunday 
I was up at 6 am to put the turkey and the fixings ready for lunch, we had some new people from our church over for lunch, it was nice to visit with them. 
I was exhausted most of the day and a pounding headache, so I am going to post this and go to bed. 

Night all


1.18.2014

Happy Birthday Mom

Happy Birthday Momma


“She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.” (Prov. 31:27)


It didn’t take becoming a mother for me to start appreciating my own mother; that began a long time ago and grew over the years. But now that I have a child of my own, I look up to you, i call you often for advice and ask what would you do in this situation...

She is always there to take care of the needs of her husband and children before her own, if her kids wanted it, she would do without it for them


My Mother’s Leadership and Support: “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue” (Prov. 31:25)
In addition to serving her family, my mom has also been a good source of wisdom. She has a practical perspective on life, and she is very focused on the things that she values: family and Christian faith. It is really difficult to capture all of the ways that she has passed her wisdom along to us. 
My Mother’s Legacy: “Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.” (Prov. 31:28)
After many years of faithfulness, my mother has much to show for it. Her contentment in the sometimes tedious and mundane life of a mother has led her to an amazing legacy:
  • She has successfully raised 3 kids with different personalities, strengths, and weaknesses. Never went back to work until we were all in high school and able to take care of our selves
  • She now has adult kids who are happy, healthy, and grounded.
  • 2 daughters are married, and she has 3 beautiful grandchildren.


Thanks for all you do for me, I am so thankful that you raised me to be the best I can be, you taught me to reach for my goals, and never stop believing until I reached them 

Thank you for all that you have done for us, Mom! “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” (Prov. 31:29)

May this be the best birthday yet and nothing but good things this year. 

Love Your Oldest
TL 

1.17.2014

Confessional Friday

Friday is here again, time for some confessions





I Confess:

~So glad its the weekend, feels like a LONG week... even though it really was no longer then any other week..;)

~ before I had my new "look", I had made a new word press blog, but I really like this new look now, so I am trying to decide what to do, thoughts??

~ I want to hire someone to clean my house, I just do not have what it takes to keep it clean these past few weeks, no energy and just plain exhausted and my house needs a good cleaning...

~ I am so thankful for the spring like weather we have had the past few days, wish it was spring time 

~I am so excited about Vacation 2014- we have a great trip planned and maybe just maybe I might be able to meet some of you  :) 

That's about it my friends, Off to work I go 


1.16.2014

Terri's Thursday Thoughts


So many thoughts running thru my head today


~Health Update:
             I saw my gynecologist today, I am having surgery next week. 
This is going to be stage 1 to making my pain go away for ever... for those who don't know I have Interstitial Cystsis( check out the tab on the top here for my story) , for the past 3 months I have been taking the Lupron shot which shuts down our "female" parts, and since I have been doing so well on it, they are going to do a surgery next week to remove my ovaries, well they are going to check it all out first, and see what they can see, then if there is Endo there they will remove the ovaries. 
Am I scared? 
OH.Yes..
am i ready to lose my ovaries 
NO
I would like another baby but that isn't going to happen now ;), no seriously I am OK with them doing this, I am tired of battling pain, this crazy amount of medication that I take (12 per day) , it takes it's toll on your body.
They told me I am off work for a while after this, so as much as I love my job, it will be hard to be away from everyone for a while, but this is a baby step in being pain free. 

Do you like my new blog update, it was done by LeeLou Blogs and I like the fresh clean look, it is the perfect change for me

~Weekly update
any one else have a husband that when they get sick, it is the worst sickness in the world, so whiny but yet I love that man and when he is sick, I feel helpless, there isn't much I can do to help him, Brooke was home today as well,she has been having pain in her back, so I have been wanting her to rest today.

I had a dentist appointment today, so i didm't go to the dr until 11:30 when I got done at dentist, I needed some work done, so I got 3 needle, and then when I got to work I could not talk so I just did some offline work, at least I was there and getting paid for it. 
Left again at 3 for my dr apt. 

Here are some things I wanted to share with you 

My friend posted this on her blog and it pulled my heart strings so I wanted to share here as well
Teddy

Here are some free printables for Valentines day 

Have a good rest of the week :) 




1.15.2014

Wednesdays for Women- My biggest stumbling block

{To Inspire and Encourage}


Why must I Fear


Anxiety is very real, it is a joy stealer...


I wish I could say that I no longer deal with this  but i'm scared that it has come back full force- in fact on Monday night i had a really really bad panic attack, to the point of not being able to breathe...I have never had it quite so bad before, I felt like something was sitting on my chest and it was crushing me, I texted some close friends and asked them to pray, I immediately felt a relief.


People will tell you it is all in your head, you can control it, it's just your mind going crazy or even you are going crazy, all the above might be true but it is very crippling to a person...

In high school I didn't deal with because I had a lot of friends and we had fun together, but once I went to college and I was on my own, it was bad- very bad...
I would lay in the dark room at night and make myself see things that were not there, I would be scared to have my leg out of the blankets or put my feet to the floor because something under the bed might grab me and no one would see me again.

Now that I am married and a mom- I worry about other things

Andrew losing his job,  he will die, or leave me for someone else, something would happen to my siblings, my parents, I worry that I will have a disease that will kill me, or that I will deal with IC for ever and ever, or something will happen to Brooke - like a school shooting, a bus accident, kidnapping.. all these things go thru my mind if not every day, every other day.
On the drive to work in the morning I am scared Andrew will fall asleep, we live 15 mins from my work yet I live with that fear every day..
I am scared Brooke will drown in the pool, or our house will burn down.

I have gone to the ER thinking I was really having a heard attack, but come to find out it was anxiety. It is very real and very scary, I have had my face go numb, tingling down my arm, that sounds like a heart attack, I have cried many tears thinking I was dying.

I have been given medication and have been on them for well over 9 years, it was under control for a while but since this new treatment it is back and it numbs me to feel this way.

As a christian I should be able to cast all my fear on him for he cares for me- he will not let anything happen to me that isn't good, he knows everything, he knows why I deal with this, he knows when it will be completely gone away from me etc.


It is easier said then done- we have all heard that right.

It is easy for people to tell us to get over it, it is easy for them to look at us and think we are nuts..
but I would like for one day for them to feel this agony..

I do not like to be alone even now at 31 years old, I hate being alone, hubby dont' travel a lot and for that I am thankful but when he do, I leave a fan blowing or some noise so I can sleep and not hear the outside noises...


I am so thankful each night that I have my hubby beside me, he worries about nothing, nothing bothers him at least nothing that I know of, he would never tell me because it would make me that much worst.

There are so many people mainly females that deal with anxiety, when I was at the hospital on Monday there was a man there who was having a major anxiety attack, I felt so bad for the guy, wish I could have talked to him.

Pills are not the answer for everyone, some people just do.not.like.medication. of.any.form, they would rather find natural ways to deal with it, sometimes if i can "catch" it before it gets to bad, I will call a friend, or my sister, talk to my husband and we will talk about something that will take my mind of it, that really helps.


So if you face anxiety, let it go- talk to someone, talk to a friend, a co worker, a family members, a doctor, nurse, pastor etc, someone you can trust... the last thing you need is for someone to laugh at you and say get over it, it isn't that easy to get over, some people can never get over it, it is something they deal with forever,


My advice to you is to keep a notebook beside your bed, on your desk etc, when the anxiety starts, start writing the opposite of what you are feeling, if you are feeling fear, write happy thoughts, I have a notebook of things I have written when anxiety has hit me, there are prayers, little quotes, letters to myself etc.

Pray is also the best thing you can do because Jesus is right there beside you no matter where you are, what you are doing etc, he is there as soon as you call out to him.

Also, I am here to help you in anyway I can, Promise

1.14.2014

Organization 101

As a working wife and mother, I try to stay on top of appointments, field trips, oil changes, I am the president of the school band- that takes organization, I am the hospitality coordinator at church, so I have a lot that I need to organize.

Then I met this beauty
I bring it to work every day and as I think of things that need to be done, I write it in here, it also comes with stickers so you can place a sticker to remind you of things. NO, I didn't get asked to a review, in fact i didn't even plan to mention it but here it is :)

Life is so busy
we seldom remember everything. 

Most people now will use their phone or their computer to remind them of apt's etc, I am old fashioned and I love me a good paper calendar and a nice pen, I look forward to boxing day shopping to get my yearly planner. 

at home I try to be organized as well, i organize my clothing by colour, sometimes I have outfits put together, my office is semi organized, there is still a lot of work I need to do in there, but it is useable for now.
Menu planning also got me to be more organized because now I grocery shop with a list and just th things I need for a particular meal- then when I get up in the morning, either I start the crock pot or let something thaw in the fridge, it takes the stress of me, deciding what to cook takes up so much of my time in the mornings when I don't know what I want to do. 

I also have a notebook I use for the hospitality things, I just like pretty notebooks and pens and I find I stay more organized when I do it that way, sure I can save a file to my computer but chances are, i'll never find it again and will forget about it.

Of course we have Pinterest and there are thousands of organizational tips on there

How about you, what is your favourite things to Organize? 

1.13.2014

Menu Plan Monday



Monday~ January 13- Lasagna/garlic bread/caesar salad
 Tuesday~ January 14-Hamburgers/fries 
Wednesday~ January 15-Mac n cheese 
Thursday~January 16- Spicy Chicken Pasta
Friday~ January 17-Kitchen Closed 
Saturday~January 18- Nachos for Hockey Night in Canada 
 Sunday~January 19- Chicken Dinner

I would love to try some new recipes, leave them below :) 

1.12.2014

Weekend Recap


Friday: 
I worked until 2, it was a pretty good day, I had plan to do some writing for the blog ( i use a notebook if thoughts come to me at work), but it was BUSY which is different for a friday but we all survived. Took a taxi to the hospital for treatment, the cab driver was a crazy one and they always freak me out, almost like your life flashes before your eyes, why must they do that, can they not drive normal?

After treatment, picked Brooke up and came home and I went to bed by 5 pm and I slept until 11 pm, then i got up and had some toast because I hadn't eaten since breakfast, then I went back to bed and slept until 4 am which is right now and I am blogging... it is quiet in the blog world at 4 am, but I think I got enough sleep and not sure if I will head back to bed after....
I didn't sleep well on Thursday night so my body needed to catch up on sleep. 

Saturday:
We had no plans and no reason to leave the house til 5 pm, so I cleaned my entire house, it needed a deep clean so it got it... 
I slept a lot because the treatment yesterday kicked my butt, all I wanted to do was sleep.. i did make dinner, then did something around the house, spent time with Brooke
We were having nasty weather, the meeting we had at 5 got cancelled because of the road conditions:







Yeah I am glad we stayed home all day, it has been a long time since we did that. 

Watching some hockey with hubby and off to bed. 


Sunday:
It was nice to be in service this morning and not down with Sunday School, I love those kids but we all need the adult attention at times.
Pastors wife was at the hospital with the oldest, he has something going on in his tummy, keep him in prayer- so I was going to bring the other 2 kids home because Pastor had some things that he needed to do today, but half way thru she came in, they couldn't find anything wrong but he sure has a lot of pain, so i took the oldest two home for the afternoon, they had fun.
I took my regular sunday nap and hubby took care of the kids, Thanks hun <3

I got my new look, i am seriously in love with it, very simple but i truly love it. 

That does it for me, Monday is coming very quickly and I don't feel ready for it.
Off to veg and relax more :)
Have a great week

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