How we hold "grudges" why cant we just be woman enough to let them go, we don't need the added stress in my life
When someone you care about hurts you, you can hold on to anger, resentment and thoughts of revenge or embrace forgiveness and move forward.

but because we are human and 99% of us here are female- we always hold tightly onto things and look for ways to "pay them back"

Nearly everyone has been hurt by the actions or words of another. Perhaps your mother criticized your parenting skills, your colleague sabotaged a project or your partner had an affair. These wounds can leave you with lasting feelings of anger, bitterness or even vengeance — but if you don't practice forgiveness, you might be the one who pays most dearly. By embracing forgiveness, you can also embrace peace, hope, gratitude and joy. Consider how forgiveness can lead you down the path of physical, emotional and spiritual well-being.

What is forgiveness?

Generally, forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. The act that hurt or offended you might always remain a part of your life, but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help you focus on other, positive parts of your life. Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you.
Forgiveness doesn't mean that you deny the other person's responsibility for hurting you, and it doesn't minimize or justify the wrong. You can forgive the person without excusing the act. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you go on with life.
As you let go of grudges, you'll no longer define your life by how you've been hurt. You might even find compassion and understanding.


My Best Friend ~ My Husband

I know i dont talk about my husband on my blog much so in honor of 15 years since we met, here is how i feel about this man i feel blessed to call my husband

He’s got my back. Always. This is hugely important to me. I know that hubby is 100% behind me, always. He is always there for me, and always takes my side. He is my true partner, in every sense of the word

I trust him completely. Look, I know one should never say never, but for all the important things in life, I trust him completely. I know he always has my best interests at heart.

He’s funny. Hubby might come across quite serious at first, but he has an impish sense of humour – there is NOTHING he likes more than to pull a prank on someone. He is very funny.

He is clever. More important than looks, power, money etc, ‘clever’ has always been my ‘thing’. I love clever and hubby is very clever. At all sorts of things.

He is hot. Being caught up in the daily grind of work/kiddo/sleep etc, this is something I don’t notice often enough, but the man is hot. If I had to describe my ideal physical characteristics in a man, he would be it.

He loves my parents. This is HUGE for me – I could never be with someone who didn’t love and respect my parents. They mean the world to me and it would be an absolute deal breaker if it was any different.

We are remarkably similar in many respects – we have the same attitude towards money, family, punctuality etc etc

Yet we are different enough to make life interesting. We compliment each other, he is strong where I am not, and visa versa. I think life would be very boring if we were pure carbon copies of each other. Does make for some ‘interesting’ times though.

He works hard. I don’t think I could be with a slacker. I complain, often, about how hard he works and his work ethic, but I also admire how much he puts in. Any employer would be lucky to have him on his team.

He is the father of my child. An Amazing one at that. He loves his little girl more then life it self.
I could actually go on and on. He really is perfect for me. Make no mistake, he is a HUGE pain, an industrial enema at times, but he is perfect for me. some people often says she has no idea how the two most anal, odd people in the world managed to find each other. And it is quite weird actually, considering we are from such different backgrounds  But we were obviously meant to be together.
I love you Babe, always and Forever

Look what he brought home to me yesterday

Oh yeah thats right- Macbook Air and i am in love with it him


Weekend Recap

day started with me going to the mail and getting present from secret santa here in bloggerville

Black friday here in NB as well as the USA, so I decided I'd do some shopping. I got so many amazing prices for everything I bought.

I got my dads, father in law- dress shirts for $3 each.
Shirts for nieces and nephews for $4 each, toys for each for $2, plus a bunch more for less then $60, I was so excited, I splurged on my niece and got her a tutu dress for $15, christmas shopping really stresses me out because I wanna buy everything for everyone all at once and because we do this with cash only, it makes it hard to get it all at once, we don't use credit cards for purchases and be a year paying off- not happening.
Friday night we went christmas tree shopping- I cannot wait til next weekend to decorate. Also got brooke her Christmas dress- tradition that every year she has a new one. It is silvery and glittery this year.

Friday night a friend ( Cherie )  called and asked to hang out and do some shopping with her today- so alarm was set for 9 am and we went out at 10:30- first place we went was to Market- have i mentioned how much i love the farmers market here...it was so much fun hanging out with her and viewing all the booths that were around. I bought samosa's, sooooooo good, also got some freshly squeezed orange juice, there was so much i wanted to buy there, i am going back next week for them....

We left there and went to Tim Horton's to meet a friend of Cherie's, was so nice to meet her, we sat and chatted for an hour or so and then we went to the other market...there was so much awesome stuff there...i could have broke the bank but i refrained and didn't buy it - thanks Dave Ramsey. 
We went to bed, bath and beyond after that- another waste of a space store, i really never find anything there at all. 
She brought me home after that and hubby had made the greatest chili i have ever had, i am a big chili person and it was soo good.
We dropped Brooke off at a birthday party at a hotel- she spent the night with a mom we have grown to know since moving here, she also goes to our church....they went swimming, did a dinner at the hotel, movie, more swimming and breakfast in the morning- she had so much fun. 
Hubby and I went to pick up a guy from our church who needed a drive to pick up his vehicle at the rental place- then he decided to come over and eat dinner with us, we got some tositios and had it with Chili with ice cream cake for dessert... hubby and i decided to go to the mall so i could get his new cell phone that he wanted for Christmas- he got this baby
yes he is in love, i think he may love it more then me :p
I also bought a couple more things for Brooke while there- she is now officially spoiled and i am done for her. I wish i could say i am all done shopping, i really wish i could, but sadly i cant yet....
We came home and hubby played with his phone and i took a bath and talked to my cousin for a bit, then bed myself, i slept so good and dreampt about a peanut butter and jelly sandwich...lol

Sunday's mean the weekend is ending...and hubby has to go back to work, i hate the thought of it because i like having him home with me :p
We did the normal Sunday Church, guests for lunch, Sunday nap, back to church for Sunday PM service. 
Came home to get lunches ready, laundry started for tomorrow and another week begins. 

Cheers and have a great week , to check out who the winner is check the post below. 


From the heart

This is very hard for me to write...will be even harder to click publish...
I battle with self esteem ALOT
I am not the type of person who loves myself
some days its a struggle for me to get out of bed
I wonder why people are even friends with me
I want to look better
I want to dress better
i want to feel better
I know thinking positive- makes ya feel positive 
i know all that
I just don't like me
in turn this makes me feel like no one else likes me 
I think and feel that people only tolerate me
they don't really "like" me
if they had a choice they wouldn't even hang out with me
I feel like my husband stays with me only because divorce is wrong ( at least we think so)
i don't have any reason to think this but i do
I wish i was different in my thoughts and actions..
I am writing this in hopes that some other people out there know what i am going thru and can help me get over this...
Why do i feel this way?
I have no idea
it all comes from no self esteem...
I always feel like i am not good enough for anything
I am surrounded by people who encourage me every day,
they are there for me all the time
So what is it with me,
I. Dont. Know
why am i so hard on myself, why do i not like me
i think if i bought nice clothes or did my hair different 
id like me more, but i am not sure

I appreciate you all reading this and offering advice.
Love you all


Weekend Recap

Howdy friends and Family,
This is a long weekend here in Canada( some provinces anyway)
Brooke had no school on Friday so we were lazy for the day or the morning really
She didn't wake me up but i didn't sleep long...was up by 11,, we did have to go to her school to pick up her saxophone that was left there, we also stopped by the book fair that was going on- her dad took her the night before but she didn't get all she 'wanted' so we went again, she got a Taylor Swift Notebook for $11, that's one expensive note book #spoiled
When we got home, i got to work cleaning, felt like my house was cleaned for week
i did floors, bathrooms, laundry, dusted, tidied Brooke's drawers, counter tops and microwave. My house was so clean after, Brooke spent most of the day outside with the neighbors kids, they play well and she enjoys it. 
We invited "Poppy and Nanny" over for dinner, been trying to get them over since we moved in, but because of our busy schedule, just now 3 mths later. They are the family we stayed with for the frist 10 days here, they are so good to us. 
I made a Jig's dinner ( some people may know it as Hodge podge
(This is'nt my table btw)
it is veggies cooked in Salt Beef ( corn beef in  the US) all cooked together and then served with lots of gravy and a pastry, for dessert i had apple pie/ice cream, and she brought a pumpkin roll, i was stuffed, we visited til almost 11 pm, sure was nice for us and them to be together, Brooke loves them and they love her, not officially Nanny and Poppy to Brooke but they adopted that name when we lived there and it stuck. 

I may or may not have slept in til 11:30 #never
Brooke needed Mommy time so her and i decided to go see a movie and go shopping, we watched

such a funny movie, we both enjoyed it. Then we went to Chapters so i could buy a new book- been waiting for it to be released, so i told hubby it would be a late birthday present...

did some window shopping, had to get Brooke some boots for Fall/Winter- have i mentioned how hard she is to buy for lately, so particular, can only imagine what the teen years will be like :p
Got her some boots at Payless- they wont work for Winter in the Snow- but they are cute with Leggings and jean skirt for the Fall- and were only $17- so it was a deal.  We also went to Children's Place and i found several things to get her for Christmas, i need to go on a day that she isn't with me and get it.
Had to go to Wal Mart to pick up some necessities as well- for once i didn't buy anything that wasn't on my list..thanks to Dave Ramsey- i no longer buy because i "want" to- its either I need it or don't buy it.  (More to come on that later) needed some flat shoes to wear, so found an adorable pair, they are yellow and blue plaid- i didnt pay the price you see, im frugal so i got them for $3 .

Came home made dinner which was so amazing- fish baked in salsa with a side of Basmati rice- so delish
I had Brooke take a bath after that to wash her hair....normally Saturday night plans.
Pastor text  me just before 8 pm and reminded me it was my week to clean the church ( we take turns here)- i couldn't believe i forgot, so we were cleaning the church til 9 pm or so, glad i had my hubby with me to Vacuum   Ran into the corner store for milk and i also been craving Chocolate milk got that and all set for the night. Relaxed after with a good book:p that kept me up until 2:30 am reading, i love a good book especially Karen Kingsbury. 

Sunday School at 10:30 am- i was asked to speak to the youth this morning, but they didn't make it, so i was all prepared and very nervous for nothing, we had a guy from our church speak today, he is so good. I feel so blessed to be part of a church that is in Motion. Pastor has officially put me in charge of Hospitality at our church, he says i do an awesome job and we are going to sit down in a bit and discuss what all is in the job etc, I'm excited.  We have an amazing Pastor and wife and we love them

Had a roast beef dinner with my huney hubby and baby girl. Then talked to my friend for a bit, then took the Sunday nap- am i the only person who takes a Sunday Nap? I love them, i feel so refreshed and ready for the evening service.
Around 4 i started getting ready for service, did a new hair do and it was cute, it was all pulled to the side and had curls, i think it was cute.
We have our evening services in a theater because we are starting a new church, been going so well.
After Service we went to Wendy's.  I had the Baja Salad and visited with Faith, Morgan, Calhouns, Lintons and had a good time. Such an awesome time with awesome people. 

Monday- Holiday we get for Remembrance Day

I am so thankful for the men and woman who died for us- they gave their lives for us. We need to be thankful every day. 
We spent the day as a family: 
~raking leaves 
~hanging out in the beautiful weather
~ i did some laundry, little tidying up
~then felt like i was coming down with a cold so laid down for a bit- feel better now, made nachos for dinner
now we relaxing and doing nothing. 

Have a great week 


Becoming a Momma

When we got married- my hubby worked on call out of town a lot, I felt lonely and felt the urge to become a mommy. Hubby wasn't as easy to convince, we finally agreed to 'try' in a month.

First month- wasn't pregnant, I thought this is mean- I want a baby now, why can't we get pregnant.
Second month- same negative.
I know some people try for months and years but I didn't want to- I wanted to be a mommy now.

We found out Dec 10 / 2002 - few days before my mother in laws birthday, we planned to keep it a secret and share on cmas day- that is until the morning sickness started.......

My mother knew I was sick and I wasn't feeling better- one day not long after we found out, she was really worried because I puked 24/7- she demanded I go to the hospital- she was so worried that she was gonna call ambulance, hubby then told her- she didn't know what to do- she was thrilled, then on my MIL's birthday I called and told her- her response was ' that's the best birthday present'.

Brooke was born July 29, 2003, 7lbs, 4.1 ounces and perfect!
I remember hearing that first cry and my heart filled up with love for her.
I look at her and think- God trusted me with a baby, wow! I had no experience with babies. Thankful my MIL was around, she was a great help.

Watching her grow, each day being less independent- babies grow so fast so enjoy it. My heart swelled with love.

Now she is 9- still my baby.
She is now so independent, at times I want her to need me more but she is "too big" for cuddles, me helping her shower, dress- she can do that now.

Each day she is growing up more and more, before we know it she is 16 and were getting her a car, then high school graduation, off to college and I'm crying as she drives off, after college she announces she has a boyfriend and then comes engagement- then her
Wedding Day

Again, I cry to know I'm gonna be giving her to the man she laughs with, lives for and Loves, its happy tears.

What I'm  saying here mom's/dad's- enjoy every second with your baby, even once they are grown- do special things, communicate with them, let them know your their friend, the more comfortable they are with you, the more trust they have in you. If my daughter came home pregnant (please God,no)  I wouldn't  look down at her, I'd love her all the more.

Having a little girl is so fun! Pretty dress, shoes,boots, pretty hair styles, shopping buddy.

Brooke i am so blessed to be your momma, dont ever change your sweet ways, you make me proud every day. i love you sweet girl. 

Don't ever grow up- taylor swift


Weekend Recap

This weekend wasn't all that exciting actually

Friday night- we went grocery shopping, 2nd time for the Menu planning and a list, i am loving this, I have updated my Menu plan in the menu on the top right corner so makes sure to check it out

Saturday - hubby made me breakfast...
Eggs,toast, sausage, bacon- hes so sweet

Then we went to my sisters house to help her move into her new house...she has a beautiful new home, i helped her mainly at her old house, few last min things to pack.  We came home around 3 because hubby wasn't feeling well, we both slept til almost 6 pm and he felt better then.  I cannot remember what Brooke and I did Saturday evening, not much of anything

Sunday- Church- i love my church
also found out Sunday Morning that a friend i grew up with got killed in a car crash

Such a beautiful girl, taken to soon...
My heart breaks for her mom and dad
WE met friends from Newfoundland for lunch, was sooo good to get some Newfoundland hugs and see friends we haven't seen in a long time. 

the mom on the left side used to babysit me all the time when i was much younger.We ate at Montana's. had a blast. 
Sunday PM- we had our 2nd service at FHS- another group of new faces, love how people want to come to church here and get to know Jesus.

Take care my lovelies <3 

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