11.22.2012

From the heart

This is very hard for me to write...will be even harder to click publish...
I battle with self esteem ALOT
I am not the type of person who loves myself
some days its a struggle for me to get out of bed
I wonder why people are even friends with me
I want to look better
I want to dress better
i want to feel better
I know thinking positive- makes ya feel positive 
i know all that
I just don't like me
in turn this makes me feel like no one else likes me 
I think and feel that people only tolerate me
they don't really "like" me
if they had a choice they wouldn't even hang out with me
I feel like my husband stays with me only because divorce is wrong ( at least we think so)
i don't have any reason to think this but i do
I wish i was different in my thoughts and actions..
I am writing this in hopes that some other people out there know what i am going thru and can help me get over this...
Why do i feel this way?
I have no idea
it all comes from no self esteem...
I always feel like i am not good enough for anything
I am surrounded by people who encourage me every day,
they are there for me all the time
So what is it with me,
I. Dont. Know
why am i so hard on myself, why do i not like me
i think if i bought nice clothes or did my hair different 
id like me more, but i am not sure

I appreciate you all reading this and offering advice.
Love you all

4 comments

  1. TERRI!!! This is no good my love. I struggled big time with self esteem issues throughout highschool and after many years of hating on myself, I have now turned the tables and love myself (most days). I really hate that you feel like this and I wish there was some way I could help you..but it honestly all comes from within. You need to love yourself. Do what you need to do to get there my friend. xoxoxox

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  2. You are definitely not alone in feeling this way! The only thing that saves me from feeling this way each and every day, aside from my husband and kids, who praise me continually, is my faith in a God that considers me righteous, saved, holy, etc. I remind myself daily that while I have done nothing to deserve my life, there is really nothing I could have done. It has been gifted to me! Chelsea is right...you need to love yourself. It may take work, daily, but you can do it!!

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    Replies
    1. You both are so right, everyone praises me constantly, but i wish i could let this go

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