1.28.2015

Wednesdays for Women- Mother In laws vs the wife



As some of you are aware my relationship with my inlaws started off on the wrong foot, when we came from our honeymoon, we still stayed at a hotel because we had lots of family around, the following morning my mother in law knocked on our door at 5 am asking for her fruit cake( it is a tradition here to have fruit cake at your wedding- no idea why but we never ate it) well we had no idea where the cake was, so we told her that, she wash;t happy and decided to disown us, this went on for a while.. 

when I was pregnant she came to help me out for a bit and we were playing a game one night and she was driving me crazy and I lost it on her… i truly believe that night she would never talk to me again.. 

When Brooke was born we moved in with them, in the basement part of the house but shared the kitchen.. it was hard because she worked a late shift and she would always be upset that we didn’t want for her to eat ( at midnight).. there were just so many things that made it hard to have a relationship with her. 

The first time I cooked for them was 3 years ago, I just never felt they would enjoy my cooking ( they are amazing cooks), I just felt like nothing I did was good enough, i wasn’t good enough for their baby boy.. 
this off course had left Andrew in a very hard place, I was his wife and his mom.. thankfully he stuck beside me, and would never invite them over without me being OK with it.. i

They love Brooke- they adore her- she is in fact probably their favourite grandchild, they have so much fun together.. they play games, they watch movies, she has never been at their house for a sleep over without us but I want that to change. 

Last May I believe is when our relationship changed, we took a vacation together for 18 days with my mother in law, we laughed a lot, we ate yummy food, we met her family, we got along… 
I was so worried about the trip with her, but it was really good. I am so glad we took her with us, no off course it isn’t perfect with her but it could have been a lot worst. 

Now I can call her up, email or text her and we can carry on a conversation, I called today and invited them for Easter and it feels so good at night when I go to sleep that we now like each other and we can tolerate each other, I am sure she felt the same way about me, and maybe we will never be best friends but for now we are working on a relationship and that is all we can do. 

How about you? Do you have a relationship with your In laws?


9 comments

  1. Ahh yes, what's that saying 'you can pick your friends but not family, so make the best of it'. Very true, very true.

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  2. I have a pretty great relationship with my mother-in-law I like to think. She's got a big heart and even through might rub people the wrong way sometimes she always means well. Great post and I'm happy it worked out for you!

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  3. Fruit cake at your wedding, that is a first for me. :-) New to your site and the blog group on FB, so hoping to make some new friends/connections. I had the greatest mother-in-law in all the world and we sadly lost her to breast cancer several years ago. She was a beautiful lady with a heart that never ceased to give to others. I only pray I will be half the mom she was to her children.

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  4. I have a great relationship with my in-laws thankfully! I think it helps because my husband is the middle child, and the oldest son's wife didn't get along well with the mom, so now she's OVERLY polite to me. lol

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  5. Our relationship didn't start the greatest but grandchildren have a way of helping people get along. Now we're very close and she's one of my inner circles of prayer and support! It took a few years and a lot of work. Fortunately she was always very stand-offish when it came to our marriage, she always gave us respect and privacy, so that wasn't a hindrance to mending our relationship.

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  6. Luckily my mother in law is awesome. She's very similar to my Mom, so it's easy to get along with her.

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  7. Last drama that happened with my Mother in Law was last year in which she wanted my husband and two year old daughter to come up the several hundred miles away to see them and go to my father in laws birthday... but I was completely not welcome. Our stand is that it is unfair to exclude me, sets a bad precedence for my daughter in how a person should be treated, and all in all just wasn't right. For a few months the back and forth went between her and my husband in which some not so nice things were said of me. In the end nobody went. She's only seen my daughter once, but I just don't know how to reach out to her. It is very sad.

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  8. I'm blessed to get along really great with my inlaws. They're wonderful people. It's nice to hear you're working on your relationship with yours, and starting to accept each other for who you are. Best of luck <3

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  9. My first time around didn't work out so well - there was probably a reason for that! My second time around is awesome!! I'm happy for you that you have found a mutual place to like each other and get along. It makes things so much easier for everyone when it can be this way!

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