10 months

Ten Months Without You 

It’s been ten months since you left, Rachel, and not a single day has passed without thinking of you. The world keeps spinning, people keep moving, and life continues in all its ordinary ways—but nothing has been quite the same without you here.

Ten months without your laugh, your voice, your wisdom. Ten months of missing the way you lit up every room you entered. You had a way of making even the darkest days a little brighter, and I still find myself reaching for the phone, wanting to share something with you, only to remember that you’re not there to answer.

This month, I took a vacation to see your kids. Being with them brought a mix of emotions—joy, sadness, love, and longing. They carry pieces of you in the way they smile, the things they say, and the light in their eyes. You would be so proud of them. Being near them felt like being near you, and I cherished every moment.

I also went to visit your resting place. Standing there, I felt the full weight of your absence and the deep love that still connects us. I brought my thoughts, my tears, and my prayers. I spoke to you in silence, hoping somehow you could hear. It gave me peace, even in the pain.

Grief is a strange companion. It walks beside me quietly, sometimes with tears, sometimes with smiles at the memories we made. I miss the little things—your texts, our inside jokes, the comfort of knowing you were always there.

But even in your absence, your presence remains. I see you in sunsets and songs, in moments of quiet, in the strength I didn’t know I had. And every time I hear the words,

“Now heaven is sweeter with you there,"

I feel a quiet ache and a strange comfort. It reminds me that while I wish you were still here with me, I believe you're in a place of peace—and somehow, heaven truly is sweeter with you there, Rachel.

Ten months without you has felt like a lifetime, but I hold on to everything you gave me: love, laughter, courage, and a sense of home.

I will keep living in a way that honors you. I will speak your name, tell your stories, and make sure that who you were never fades with time. Your life was a gift, and your memory will always be a guiding light.

I miss you more than words can say. Ten months without you, Rachel, but a love that will last forever.