10.31.2018

The Effect of Divorce on Your Mental Health



Going through a divorce is likely going to be a trying time for any couple. If the situation between the
couple has deteriorated far enough, it is quite possible that the amount of fighting and arguing
between the pair will bleed over into their separation proceedings. When this happens, what should
be a minor and insignificant issue can end up being blown out of proportion and used in court.
In some cases, couples are more fortunate and their split is an amicable one. When both parties
involved are in mutual agreement that it's time for things to change, there tends to be much less
arguing and they can avoid court..

However, even when a divorce is amicable and consensual, mental health repercussions are still
common. For many people, these will be minor; many won't require any professional intervention.
But it is important to know what the warning signs of a mental illness are and how divorce can
increase certain feelings and potential triggers.

Inadequacy
One of the most common negative feelings that people experience after going through a divorce is a
feeling of inadequacy. It isn't hard to understand why this is the case.
If a relationship breaks down,it is only natural for each partner to consider their role in what
 went wrong.
Feelings of inadequacy arise when an individual feels that they are unworthy of their partner's
affections. Often, those with feelings of inadequacy will attribute them to unconnected phenomena,
personality traits, or perceived physical flaws. Divorce brings many of our smaller
insecurities roaring to the surface, where they wreak havoc with our self-esteem.

Feeling Abnormal
Something else that is common in the wake of a relationship breakdown is to analyse ourselves in an
overly critical manner,. Naturally, it is good now and then to take stock of who we are as people, the
good things that we do as we go about our lives, and the not so good things we do when no one is
looking. We should all want to better ourselves, so giving ourselves the occasional harsh review is
ok.
The problem is that those who already suffer from mental health issues are already often feeling
that they are different to those around them. When someone with pre-existing depression is trying
to define what they perceive as being their own faults, many will include their depression on the list.
In the wake or the process of a divorce, the feeling that a marriage broke down because of one
party's mental illness can cause immense feelings of guilt for that person. During a divorce, many
people will blame themselves for marital breakdown. Of course, things are rarely so simple.
Breakups are complicated. Even cases of infidelity usually involve a long backstory of other issues.

The point is, it is easy for a divorce to trigger unwarranted feelings of guilt. For those who suffer
from a mental illness, the loss of your closest partner can often leave you feeling as if you have no
tether to the rest of the "normal"population.

Trust Issues
This one depends somewhat on the underlying reason for the divorce. Obviously, in cases where a
divorce is being sought because one party has been unfaithful, trust is a significant casualty. In
instances where trust between spouses has been damaged, it is important to engage the services of
a family law firm with experience dealing with divorces. If you are looking for someone to speak to
and need pointing in the right direction, you could head over to the family lawyers at
www.crossroadslaw.ca who provide one of the best client oriented services for those living in
Canada. You can read some of the testimonials on their website to get a feel for the service they
offer and call their toll-free number if you’re interested in speaking to an expert.
Hiring an attorney to handle the legal side of things for you doesn’t have to be a declaration of war
against your ex-partner. In fact, you should encourage them to also engage the services of an
attorney. By having the attorneys work things out together, you can save needless conflict between
you and your former spouse.

Moving On
This is the big question after any divorce, how long should you wait before you begin thinking about
moving on. You won’t be surprised to know that the answer here is very simple, it’s down to the
individual.
A divorce takes a different toll on every divorcee. There is no right or wrong way to experience
divorce, nor is there a clearly defined checklist of things you need to do to move on from your
marriage. Once you feel ready to face the world again, and you are ready to take the lessons of your
relationship and apply them to your life, you are ready to get back out there.
Understand that some impact on your mental health from going through a divorce is inevitable.
Sometimes the way your divorce affects you will surprise you. You might find you learned different
lessons than you expected, or that the challenges you faced were more complex. You should always
seek professional help if you feel that your mental illness is causing negative impact on your life..

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