Confessional Friday

Friday is here again, time for some confessions

I Confess:

~So glad its the weekend, feels like a LONG week... even though it really was no longer then any other week..;)

~ before I had my new "look", I had made a new word press blog, but I really like this new look now, so I am trying to decide what to do, thoughts??

~ I want to hire someone to clean my house, I just do not have what it takes to keep it clean these past few weeks, no energy and just plain exhausted and my house needs a good cleaning...

~ I am so thankful for the spring like weather we have had the past few days, wish it was spring time 

~I am so excited about Vacation 2014- we have a great trip planned and maybe just maybe I might be able to meet some of you  :) 

That's about it my friends, Off to work I go 

Terri's Thursday Thoughts

So many thoughts running thru my head today

~Health Update:

             I saw my gynecologist today, I am having surgery next week. 

This is going to be stage 1 to making my pain go away for ever... for those who don't know I have Interstitial Cystsis( check out the tab on the top here for my story) , for the past 3 months I have been taking the Lupron shot which shuts down our "female" parts, and since I have been doing so well on it, they are going to do a surgery next week to remove my ovaries, well they are going to check it all out first, and see what they can see, then if there is Endo there they will remove the ovaries. 

Am I scared? 

OH.Yes..

am i ready to lose my ovaries 

NO

I would like another baby but that isn't going to happen now ;), no seriously I am OK with them doing this, I am tired of battling pain, this crazy amount of medication that I take (12 per day) , it takes it's toll on your body.

They told me I am off work for a while after this, so as much as I love my job, it will be hard to be away from everyone for a while, but this is a baby step in being pain free. 

Do you like my new blog update, it was done by LeeLou Blogs and I like the fresh clean look, it is the perfect change for me

~Weekly update

any one else have a husband that when they get sick, it is the worst sickness in the world, so whiny but yet I love that man and when he is sick, I feel helpless, there isn't much I can do to help him, Brooke was home today as well,she has been having pain in her back, so I have been wanting her to rest today.

I had a dentist appointment today, so i didm't go to the dr until 11:30 when I got done at dentist, I needed some work done, so I got 3 needle, and then when I got to work I could not talk so I just did some offline work, at least I was there and getting paid for it. 
Left again at 3 for my dr apt. 

Here are some things I wanted to share with you 

My friend posted this on her blog and it pulled my heart strings so I wanted to share here as well
Teddy

Here are some free printables for Valentines day 

Have a good rest of the week :) 

Wednesdays for Women- My biggest stumbling block

{To Inspire and Encourage}

Why must I Fear

Anxiety is very real, it is a joy stealer...

I wish I could say that I no longer deal with this  but i'm scared that it has come back full force- in fact on Monday night i had a really really bad panic attack, to the point of not being able to breathe...I have never had it quite so bad before, I felt like something was sitting on my chest and it was crushing me, I texted some close friends and asked them to pray, I immediately felt a relief.

People will tell you it is all in your head, you can control it, it's just your mind going crazy or even you are going crazy, all the above might be true but it is very crippling to a person...
In high school I didn't deal with because I had a lot of friends and we had fun together, but once I went to college and I was on my own, it was bad- very bad...
I would lay in the dark room at night and make myself see things that were not there, I would be scared to have my leg out of the blankets or put my feet to the floor because something under the bed might grab me and no one would see me again.

Now that I am married and a mom- I worry about other things
Andrew losing his job,  he will die, or leave me for someone else, something would happen to my siblings, my parents, I worry that I will have a disease that will kill me, or that I will deal with IC for ever and ever, or something will happen to Brooke - like a school shooting, a bus accident, kidnapping.. all these things go thru my mind if not every day, every other day.
On the drive to work in the morning I am scared Andrew will fall asleep, we live 15 mins from my work yet I live with that fear every day..
I am scared Brooke will drown in the pool, or our house will burn down.

I have gone to the ER thinking I was really having a heard attack, but come to find out it was anxiety. It is very real and very scary, I have had my face go numb, tingling down my arm, that sounds like a heart attack, I have cried many tears thinking I was dying.
I have been given medication and have been on them for well over 9 years, it was under control for a while but since this new treatment it is back and it numbs me to feel this way.

As a christian I should be able to cast all my fear on him for he cares for me- he will not let anything happen to me that isn't good, he knows everything, he knows why I deal with this, he knows when it will be completely gone away from me etc.

It is easier said then done- we have all heard that right.
It is easy for people to tell us to get over it, it is easy for them to look at us and think we are nuts..
but I would like for one day for them to feel this agony..

I do not like to be alone even now at 31 years old, I hate being alone, hubby dont' travel a lot and for that I am thankful but when he do, I leave a fan blowing or some noise so I can sleep and not hear the outside noises...

I am so thankful each night that I have my hubby beside me, he worries about nothing, nothing bothers him at least nothing that I know of, he would never tell me because it would make me that much worst.
There are so many people mainly females that deal with anxiety, when I was at the hospital on Monday there was a man there who was having a major anxiety attack, I felt so bad for the guy, wish I could have talked to him.

Pills are not the answer for everyone, some people just do.not.like.medication. of.any.form, they would rather find natural ways to deal with it, sometimes if i can "catch" it before it gets to bad, I will call a friend, or my sister, talk to my husband and we will talk about something that will take my mind of it, that really helps.

So if you face anxiety, let it go- talk to someone, talk to a friend, a co worker, a family members, a doctor, nurse, pastor etc, someone you can trust... the last thing you need is for someone to laugh at you and say get over it, it isn't that easy to get over, some people can never get over it, it is something they deal with forever,

My advice to you is to keep a notebook beside your bed, on your desk etc, when the anxiety starts, start writing the opposite of what you are feeling, if you are feeling fear, write happy thoughts, I have a notebook of things I have written when anxiety has hit me, there are prayers, little quotes, letters to myself etc.
Pray is also the best thing you can do because Jesus is right there beside you no matter where you are, what you are doing etc, he is there as soon as you call out to him.

Also, I am here to help you in anyway I can, Promise

Organization 101

As a working wife and mother, I try to stay on top of appointments, field trips, oil changes, I am the president of the school band- that takes organization, I am the hospitality coordinator at church, so I have a lot that I need to organize.

Then I met this beauty

I bring it to work every day and as I think of things that need to be done, I write it in here, it also comes with stickers so you can place a sticker to remind you of things. NO, I didn't get asked to a review, in fact i didn't even plan to mention it but here it is :)

Life is so busy, 

we seldom remember everything. 

Most people now will use their phone or their computer to remind them of apt's etc, I am old fashioned and I love me a good paper calendar and a nice pen, I look forward to boxing day shopping to get my yearly planner. 

at home I try to be organized as well, i organize my clothing by colour, sometimes I have outfits put together, my office is semi organized, there is still a lot of work I need to do in there, but it is useable for now.

Menu planning also got me to be more organized because now I grocery shop with a list and just th things I need for a particular meal- then when I get up in the morning, either I start the crock pot or let something thaw in the fridge, it takes the stress of me, deciding what to cook takes up so much of my time in the mornings when I don't know what I want to do. 

I also have a notebook I use for the hospitality things, I just like pretty notebooks and pens and I find I stay more organized when I do it that way, sure I can save a file to my computer but chances are, i'll never find it again and will forget about it.

Of course we have Pinterest and there are thousands of organizational tips on there

How about you, what is your favourite things to Organize? 

Menu Plan Monday

Monday~ January 13- Lasagna/garlic bread/caesar salad

 Tuesday~ January 14-Hamburgers/fries 

Wednesday~ January 15-Mac n cheese 

Thursday~January 16- Spicy Chicken Pasta

Friday~ January 17-Kitchen Closed 

Saturday~January 18- Nachos for Hockey Night in Canada 

 Sunday~January 19- Chicken Dinner

I would love to try some new recipes, leave them below :) 

Weekend Recap

Friday: 

I worked until 2, it was a pretty good day, I had plan to do some writing for the blog ( i use a notebook if thoughts come to me at work), but it was BUSY which is different for a friday but we all survived. Took a taxi to the hospital for treatment, the cab driver was a crazy one and they always freak me out, almost like your life flashes before your eyes, why must they do that, can they not drive normal?

After treatment, picked Brooke up and came home and I went to bed by 5 pm and I slept until 11 pm, then i got up and had some toast because I hadn't eaten since breakfast, then I went back to bed and slept until 4 am which is right now and I am blogging... it is quiet in the blog world at 4 am, but I think I got enough sleep and not sure if I will head back to bed after....

I didn't sleep well on Thursday night so my body needed to catch up on sleep. 

Saturday:

We had no plans and no reason to leave the house til 5 pm, so I cleaned my entire house, it needed a deep clean so it got it... 

I slept a lot because the treatment yesterday kicked my butt, all I wanted to do was sleep.. i did make dinner, then did something around the house, spent time with Brooke

We were having nasty weather, the meeting we had at 5 got cancelled because of the road conditions:

Yeah I am glad we stayed home all day, it has been a long time since we did that. 

Watching some hockey with hubby and off to bed. 

Sunday:
It was nice to be in service this morning and not down with Sunday School, I love those kids but we all need the adult attention at times.
Pastors wife was at the hospital with the oldest, he has something going on in his tummy, keep him in prayer- so I was going to bring the other 2 kids home because Pastor had some things that he needed to do today, but half way thru she came in, they couldn't find anything wrong but he sure has a lot of pain, so i took the oldest two home for the afternoon, they had fun.
I took my regular sunday nap and hubby took care of the kids, Thanks hun <3

I got my new look, i am seriously in love with it, very simple but i truly love it. 

That does it for me, Monday is coming very quickly and I don't feel ready for it.
Off to veg and relax more :)
Have a great week