Wednesdays for Women- Tough Topics- Divorce

Wednesdays for Women for a couple weeks is going to be a little different, I am going to be sharing some stories of some friends, if you read them I know you will be encouraged.

Julie is my hero- she is one of the sweetest people in the entire world, she has been thru so much, she always has such positivity, love and she is just down to earth and I love her.

Here is her story of her divorce.

TODAY.....
i rolled up the tin door to my storage unit to the remains of my downsized house 3 1/2 years ago.
as i lifted a cardboard box, the wet bottom gave way.
i leaned it against the wall in hopes of saving the contents.
as i did, there was a domino effect of picture frames
that came crashing down with the box.
it was all it took to take me over the top!
i sat down on a coleman ice chest....looking at broken glass and broken vases.
what a picture of me, i thought.
B R O K E N !!!!
the tears gave way and spilled on the cement floor.
the domino destruction of divorce spills out all over the floor
in a broken heap.....
contaminating everything it touches.
it's a death.
but...the casket door never closes.
a living death.
the grieving and sadness never stops.
you think you've grieved
yet, somehow, it takes you by surprise over and over and OVER again.
no wonder GOD hates it!
it's not good for us!
today was such a day.
i've cried more today than i ever have since i moved in with my sissy.
and...it's been 3 1/2 years.
i grieved when i saw a chalkboard that i had in the entranceway of our house
with a picture of us on our honeymoon.
i put it there, as a reminder, that we should fight for our marriage.
along with a piece of paper attached
with the daily schedule of when i drove jenni to work.
(she could not drive because of her recent diagnosis of epilepsy).
everything was packed up....just the way it was
when i left our home.
the home...... that was no more.
i grieved when i found a box of printed out quotes
that he used to lay around the house.
i grieved when i found the "PILTAI" sign that we walked under
whenever we entered our back door.
i made that sign lest we ever forgot
that JESUS IS OUR DELIVERER.
i grieved when i found a cassette tape i recorded,
while living in Hawaii,
of Jen and Jess just starting to talk
entitled "Hawaii 4-0"
(that was sent home to grandma and grandpa).
i grieved for the holidays that my children
could not return to their childhood home.
i grieved for my grand babies (present & future)
that would never know grandmommy's house.
yes!
stuff....is just....stuff.
but boxes contain a lifetime of important memories.....
old toys, books, play clothes, dolls....that i saved for them....
and their children.
this stuff is an important link to history. and belonging.
my mom and dad left me with such a rich heritage.
after their death, when we went thru their house,
it was heartwarming and enlightening
to rediscover their myriad interests in life.
in it, i discovered more of who i was and why i was the way i was.
there were reels of tapes, recorded sermons, records, sheet music, music books, piano rolls.
books on gardening, books about JESUS, health lectures.
designer patterns for little girl dresses that mom sent away to NYC for...
to sew dresses for us girls out of feed sacks
that daddy brought home from the mill.
boxes and boxes of "popular mechanics" magazines
that daddy used to devour...
and then copy and build things.
i grieved that my children would have no memoirs like this.
one thing i've learned.
when grief hits, you need to grieve.
it you avoid it,
you will grieve later on in life....usually in a worse manner.
yep.
it was a grieving day today!
then....
i hopped on the bus.
and was ministered to as i heard third day sing:
"there is hope for the helpless, rest for the weary,
and love for the broken hearts.
there is grace and forgiveness, mercy and healing
that meets you wherever you are
cry out to JESUS."
and i cried out to JESUS....
and remembered the overwhelming goodness and faithfulness of FATHER
and how HE met me time and time and time again
as i flailed myself at HIS feet.
how HE provided every step of the way with my sister and her husband
opening up their amazing home to me
how HE daily met my needs with this job i so enjoyed
how HE filled me with joy unspeakable
how HE set me free from bondage and oppression
how HE turned my black and white world into color
how HE answered the deepest prayers i prayed in this precious "hidey hole" of mine
how HE blessed me with purpose and creativity like i've never experienced in my life
how HE provided for my love of traveling to visit my daughters
how HE gave me hope when i pray for restoration of our family
and demanded recapturing the ground that was stolen from us
how HE gave us a love and deeper appreciation for each other...more than we've ever known
how HE surrounded me with the best caring friends and family anyone could have
how HE opened the doors of compassion for me to help others in the way i've been helped.
and....
i was overcome to tears
with love and adoration to my SAVIOR
who
rescued me,
delivered me,
heard me,
healed me,
defended me,
helped me,
carried me,
LOVE ME!!!!!!
BLESSED ME!!!!!!
then....
i declared along to chris tomlin's
"all the way my SAVIOR leads me
who have i to ask beside
how could i doubt HIS tender mercy
who through life has been my guide
all the way my SAVIOR leads me
cheers each winding path i tread
gives me grace for every trial
feeds me with the living bread
all the way my SAVIOR leads me
o, the fullness of HIS love
o, the sureness of HIS promise
in the triumph of HIS blood
and when my spirit clothed immortal
wings its flight to realms of day
this my song through endless ages
JESUS led me all the way
JESUS led me all the way"
this patch of life is short
this side of eternity.....
CARRY ON
YOU SOLDIERS OF THE LIGHT
WHO MARCH
TO A DIFFERENT BEAT.........