Wednesdays for Women for a couple weeks is going to be a little different, I am going to be sharing some stories of some friends, if you read them I know you will be encouraged.
Julie is my hero- she is one of the sweetest people in the entire world, she has been thru so much, she always has such positivity, love and she is just down to earth and I love her.
Here is her story of her divorce.
- TODAY.....
- i rolled up the tin door to my storage unit to the remains of my downsized house 3 1/2 years ago.
- as i lifted a cardboard box, the wet bottom gave way.
- i leaned it against the wall in hopes of saving the contents.
- as i did, there was a domino effect of picture frames
- that came crashing down with the box.
- it was all it took to take me over the top!
- i sat down on a coleman ice chest....looking at broken glass and broken vases.
- what a picture of me, i thought.
- B R O K E N !!!!
- the tears gave way and spilled on the cement floor.
- the domino destruction of divorce spills out all over the floor
- in a broken heap.....
- contaminating everything it touches.
- it's a death.
- but...the casket door never closes.
- a living death.
- the grieving and sadness never stops.
- you think you've grieved
- yet, somehow, it takes you by surprise over and over and OVER again.
- no wonder GOD hates it!
- it's not good for us!
- today was such a day.
- i've cried more today than i ever have since i moved in with my sissy.
- and...it's been 3 1/2 years.
- i grieved when i saw a chalkboard that i had in the entranceway of our house
- with a picture of us on our honeymoon.
- i put it there, as a reminder, that we should fight for our marriage.
- along with a piece of paper attached
- with the daily schedule of when i drove jenni to work.
- (she could not drive because of her recent diagnosis of epilepsy).
- everything was packed up....just the way it was
- when i left our home.
- the home...... that was no more.
- i grieved when i found a box of printed out quotes
- that he used to lay around the house.
- i grieved when i found the "PILTAI" sign that we walked under
- whenever we entered our back door.
- i made that sign lest we ever forgot
- that JESUS IS OUR DELIVERER.
- i grieved when i found a cassette tape i recorded,
- while living in Hawaii,
- of Jen and Jess just starting to talk
- entitled "Hawaii 4-0"
- (that was sent home to grandma and grandpa).
- i grieved for the holidays that my children
- could not return to their childhood home.
- i grieved for my grand babies (present & future)
- that would never know grandmommy's house.
- yes!
- stuff....is just....stuff.
- but boxes contain a lifetime of important memories.....
- old toys, books, play clothes, dolls....that i saved for them....
- and their children.
- this stuff is an important link to history. and belonging.
- my mom and dad left me with such a rich heritage.
- after their death, when we went thru their house,
- it was heartwarming and enlightening
- to rediscover their myriad interests in life.
- in it, i discovered more of who i was and why i was the way i was.
- there were reels of tapes, recorded sermons, records, sheet music, music books, piano rolls.
- books on gardening, books about JESUS, health lectures.
- designer patterns for little girl dresses that mom sent away to NYC for...
- to sew dresses for us girls out of feed sacks
- that daddy brought home from the mill.
- boxes and boxes of "popular mechanics" magazines
- that daddy used to devour...
- and then copy and build things.
- i grieved that my children would have no memoirs like this.
- one thing i've learned.
- when grief hits, you need to grieve.
- it you avoid it,
- you will grieve later on in life....usually in a worse manner.
- yep.
- it was a grieving day today!
- then....
- i hopped on the bus.
- and was ministered to as i heard third day sing:
- "there is hope for the helpless, rest for the weary,
- and love for the broken hearts.
- there is grace and forgiveness, mercy and healing
- that meets you wherever you are
- cry out to JESUS."
- and i cried out to JESUS....
- and remembered the overwhelming goodness and faithfulness of FATHER
- and how HE met me time and time and time again
- as i flailed myself at HIS feet.
- how HE provided every step of the way with my sister and her husband
- opening up their amazing home to me
- how HE daily met my needs with this job i so enjoyed
- how HE filled me with joy unspeakable
- how HE set me free from bondage and oppression
- how HE turned my black and white world into color
- how HE answered the deepest prayers i prayed in this precious "hidey hole" of mine
- how HE blessed me with purpose and creativity like i've never experienced in my life
- how HE provided for my love of traveling to visit my daughters
- how HE gave me hope when i pray for restoration of our family
- and demanded recapturing the ground that was stolen from us
- how HE gave us a love and deeper appreciation for each other...more than we've ever known
- how HE surrounded me with the best caring friends and family anyone could have
- how HE opened the doors of compassion for me to help others in the way i've been helped.
- and....
- i was overcome to tears
- with love and adoration to my SAVIOR
- who
- rescued me,
- delivered me,
- heard me,
- healed me,
- defended me,
- helped me,
- carried me,
- LOVE ME!!!!!!
- BLESSED ME!!!!!!
- then....
- i declared along to chris tomlin's
- "all the way my SAVIOR leads me
- who have i to ask beside
- how could i doubt HIS tender mercy
- who through life has been my guide
- all the way my SAVIOR leads me
- cheers each winding path i tread
- gives me grace for every trial
- feeds me with the living bread
- all the way my SAVIOR leads me
- o, the fullness of HIS love
- o, the sureness of HIS promise
- in the triumph of HIS blood
- and when my spirit clothed immortal
- wings its flight to realms of day
- this my song through endless ages
- JESUS led me all the way
- JESUS led me all the way"
- this patch of life is short
- this side of eternity.....
- CARRY ON
- YOU SOLDIERS OF THE LIGHT
- WHO MARCH
- TO A DIFFERENT BEAT.........
Beautiful! Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteIt's not nice about the pain, but the depth of your caring is very touching to read.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your honesty!
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing how "counting our blessings" can open our eyes, isn't it? I'm glad you have so much to be grateful for, even when facing difficult challenges like this!
ReplyDelete