Is your marriage worth counseling?

Marriage is near and dear to my heart as you all know if you have been reading here for some time. I have been married for 16 years and to be honest not every day is great, but at the end of the day I am glad to sleep next to him. 

My heart breaks when I hear of friends or family separating after they have been married for years and years.  I know not every marriage will work out, but I am a firm believer that marriage takes work, it isn't just "run when it gets bad" or "I want to find someone with more money" no you work on your marriage. 
I truly believe that marriage counselling can also help any marriage as long as both people are willing to work on it, I have a friend right now who is dealing with a husband who lies, cheats, etc and she asked him to do counseling and he refuses because he does not think he has an issue, it's her, Marriage is not a one way street, it is 2 people who have to be willing to do counseling together, sure that may come with some personal one on one counseling as well as recommended by a Dr but if one person will not commit, how can it work?" 

When couples choose therapy, this is a good sign that they value their marriage and wish to preserve it. However, counseling can only work if clients enter a therapeutic alliance with not only the counselor, but also one another"

If you or your spouse is just going to therapy to make the other one happy, chances are pretty good that the therapy is not going to be successful. There are many reasons that marriage counseling may not work. One of them is that clients often sabotage their own chances for success. Some things to bear in mind when considering marriage counseling:
  • The therapist or counselor cannot fix you
  • The therapist or counselor cannot provide a diagnosis
  • Marriage counseling is not mental health therapy
  • The therapist or counselor is not a referee
  • The therapist or counselor does not take sides
  • Counseling does not rewrite the past
  • Counseling does not right wrongs 
Two of the most prevalent problems couples face that bring them to marriage counseling are finances and infidelity.  Counseling is not a over night fix for marriage problems, but it will give you some positive communication skills to help you work on the problem

If you needed to save your marriage, would you do counseling?


  1. This is a great post, Terri. It really made me think about what marriage counselling is, and what it isn't. I think far too often, counselling gets a bad rap, when it's really not what we are expecting.

  2. You got the point; counseling requires the co-operation of the couple to be effective.

  3. Many couples try to use marriage counseling as a weapon against each other or as a bandaid. The. They complain it doesn’t work. Counseling only works if you participate whole heartedly.


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