8.28.2017

Is your child bullied?

With school starting again, I wanted to talk about bullying, it is unfortunate that it is happening more and more, not just with kids but kids bullying teachers, kids bullying parents, teachers bullying teachers etc, the world is going crazy. Kids can be bullied for any reason, they bully because your not wearing brand name jeans or your parents are incarcerated.  

Do you know the signs to look for if your child is being bullied?  
Most kids aren’t going to come home and tell you that they’re being bullied—in fact, many won’t say anything. Your child might feel ashamed or worried that they are to blame somehow, and they become experts at keeping it all inside. What are the signs you need to know as a parent?
  • Reluctance to go to school or to get on the computer.
  • Your child’s mood changes after looking at their cell phone or going on social media
  • Your child may not want to get on the school bus; begs you for rides to school every day.
  • Is frequently sick, with headaches and sleeping problems—and often wants to stay home from school.
  • You might notice damaged or missing belongings, or that your child keeps losing money or other valuable items.
  • Unexplained injuries or bruises.
  • Your child doesn’t seem to be eating his/her lunch—he/she comes home unusually hungry, or his/her lunch comes back home with him/her.
  • He/She might be moody, anxious, depressed, or withdrawn.
I was bullied when I was in high school, I was always being punched or kicked etc, one guy even put me in a head lock one day and it was scary, I did not want to tell anyone because as most kids feel no one will believe me.. 

What Should Parents Do?
·         What can—or should—you do if your child is being bullied?  Maybe your child will not outright tell you that they are being bullied school or you simply think it is happening… take time out of your busy day, listen to every word they tell you, take them seriously, hold them and hug them.  Let them know this is wrong and you will be there for them. 

·         As moms when we find out  our kids are being bullied we feel anxious, upset and angry, our first reaction may not be the best one though, because it’s probably coming from emotion and not from a calm, objective place—which is where you want to be when you talk with your child. Here are some good rules of thumb for parents to follow when dealing with this difficult situation:


  • ·         Don’t minimize: Keep in mind that you don’t want to under react either, by minimizing the problem or telling your child he’s being “too sensitive.” This is not a time to leave your kid alone. He needs someone more powerful than the bullies to advocate for him and help him handle the situation.


  • ·         Don’t blame: If your child is being bullied, don’t blame her for what’s happening. Don’t ask, “Well, what are you doing to make the kids pick on you? You must be doing something.” There is often no reason for a child to be picked on, other than that they are in the line of sight of another child who wants to taunt or hurt them. There is no justification for bullying. Blaming your child will only make them shut down—or worse, blame themselves for what’s happening. Instead, let your child know that it’s not them—anyone can be a target. It’s often just a case of wrong place, wrong time, and any kind of difference or vulnerability can do it.


  • ·         Have open conversations: Talk with your child about your own experiences. Really empathize with them and their situation by being authentic with them. It’s okay to say, "I feel so sad when I hear what you’re going through. I’m here to help you." Do your best to have the kind of relationship where you keep the lines of communication open. Encourage them to talk to other adults in their lives who they might be close to, as well—sometimes an aunt, friend or teacher can give advice and say things that you might not be able to say because you’re too close to the problem.


  • ·         Teach your child not to react out of fear: Often, kids feel shocked and paralyzed when someone calls them a cruel name or hurts them. If they stand there and take it, get upset and lose control, or start crying, the other kids will have what they want—a reaction. Let your child know that reacting out of fear or anger is going to set them up for more of the same



  •      Cover them in prayer each and every day. 


Provide them the love and support they need, teach them to find true friends who care and will support them in everything they do, most of all hug them and let them know you are there friend and always there to talk to.

10 comments

  1. This seems like awesome advice. I was homeschooled so the only bullying I experienced on a regular basis was that of my older brother, haha, but my fiancé was bullied very badly in middle school. We are always on the lookout for kids that we know from church or wherever who might need encouragement from us, and these tips on how to spot them help, although obviously we're not their parents, we are their community, and we have a responsibility to them as well!

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  2. Bullying is a big problem in the schools in this area. A kid committed suicide a few months ago because of being bullied.

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  3. I wish they had this info when I was a kid - I used to get bullied a LOT back then

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  4. What's really sad is often times teachers even bully kids without recognizing it. They pick out the problem kids and have zero tolerance for them and automatically assume they are the problem even if it was other kids who started it. It's really sad what everything is coming to.

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  5. So much is going on that we have no clue of - in our children's lives. As you said, providing an environment where they can talk and share with us, as friends, is key!

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  6. bully is very dangerous for kids and it is painful too..
    it is great post specially for parents

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  7. GOod information for us to keep in mind for when our son (he's only 15 months) is well into his school years!

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  8. A very timely piece! Informative and helpful. Appreciate especially the reminder to pray for our children!

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  9. Such good advice. I especially like the warning not to minimize. If we teach our kids to minimize, then the believe that they don't matter and neither fmdo their feelings.

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  10. Great tips! We had that issue. Nothing worked until we taught our child how to defend herself (basically how to fight back). Not our first choice of defence, but unfortunately the most effective one, as the bully left our child alone after that.

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