3.18.2019

Step by Step

I wanted a step by step plan to get through this... I wanted a guarantee that if I followed the plan I would be free, the pain would be gone...
I wanted someone to say here let me help you, bless your heart, you have fought for so long, let me take it away.

My counselor couldnt give me a quick fix, i'm sure she wanted to, i'm sure she wished she had a special formula to sprinkle over me...

I'm sure she wanted to fix everything espicially my desire for everything to be ok right now and my refusal to embrace the process of healing.

I knew God would eventually fix me and make everything alright.. He would make something new and wonderful from my dust... I just knew I couldn't live a normal life without freaking out daily.

My counselor broke the news to me that there was simply no easy fix for the problems I faced.  Feeling the pain is the first step toward healing.We can numb it, ignore it or pretend it doesnt exist or face it head on and that is what I am trying to do.

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