Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Wednesdays for Women- Marly's struggle with Depression





{To Inspire and Encourage}


I first met Marly when she was my partner for the Cara Box swap, I fell in love with her beautiful family, now we are great friends, read her struggle below


Depression- Such an interesting topic on many different levels. Most of us, if not ALL of us have been affected by this darkness in one way or another.

When I seen I had an opportunity to write a post about this “topic” I felt intrigued to share a little bit of my story/struggle/battle with depression through out the years.  It is a changing, multifaceted aspect of life many of us deal with or have dealt with in the past.  And some days I wonder if it is ever a journey that is finished, or just something you positively cope with as the time passes on.
The first time I truly realized I was depressed I was about 13 years old- I was so upset over many different things, but even when they “got better” I was still engulfed in a darkness.  I heard often “Marly, whats wrong your just not yourself.”  Those words at that time, almost hurt me more than helped me.  Instead of confiding my feelings to someone/anyone, I decided “Fine, I guess I just have to put on a happy face and carry on with life” – and that’s what I did.  I never let anyone see the pain and anger inside me, NEVER thought of sharing the true thoughts going through my mind, as I already felt as though people just wanted to see the strong and happy Marly, not the true Marly who was weak, hurt, scared, depressed and struggling every single day.
I carried on this path for many years- probably until I was about 21-22 and broke up with “my first love”
I decided I couldn’t hide the pain, the anger, fear and depression anymore.  I didn’t know what to do, I had became so dependant on him for so many emotional things, that I truly didn’t know how to carry on with out him.   But again I was thrown into it, this time, I decided people would see this sadness, and the darkness as I just did not know how to cope and carry on with out him in my life- of course looking back, I could cope, I did make it through and I was depressed before we broke up so it wasn’t the “break up” that caused it.

I have found that writing helps my depression, even if it just on a scrap piece of paper I toss out when done, or via my blog etc.  Writing has been my saving grace.  I can write it all out, hide it away and feel I have dealt with my issues that day.
Being a mom has brought my depression to a whole new level, after having a Preemie, I am now dealing with PTSD as opposed to just Depression. Its hard- most days are tough- and being away from him and back to work full time makes it even harder. But with a combination of a PRN medication when I truly just cant handle the stress- be it a doctors appointment at the hospital he was at for months, a day when I am at work and just miss him way to much and am scared about what ifs- etc.  Most days are good days, but those of us who deal with depression may need a little bit of help.

Help is a funny thing when you are depressed, many of us do not want to offer information about ourselves to others- however talking, reaching out and networking can help immensely!  So I may have to cut this post short, however if I can suggest a few things here they are:
-          Reach out to someone, at least 1 person, let them know what your dealing with and why it maybe affecting you the way it is
-          Talk to your GP about how you are feeling, do not feel ashamed in any way
-          Find a HEALTHY way to cope with stress (working out, art, music etc etc)
-          Realize you are not alone!
-          Look for forums online with support
-          Remember lots of people love you and need you around
-          Stay strong!

5 comments:

  1. Love this post! Depression has so many silent victims, and it's always comforting knowing how others have coped. I was really sick for about a year, and I underwent extreme spouts of depression... that's when I got really serious about my blog. Writing really helped sort and verbalize all my thoughts, and now it's always so interesting to go back and read those posts- so I definitely appreciate and concur about these tips! Thank you for sharing Marly's story :)

    xo,
    Stephanie
    Diary of a Debutante
    www.stephanieziajka.blogspot.com

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  2. What strength it takes to share your story with others! I know it will help so many others! Great tips too - my sister struggled for a long time with crippling depression, and these were important to her journey out.

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  3. Having a preemie is so stressful in itself, full of self doubt and anger over what "should" have been. I can't imagine how difficult that time would have been when dealing with depression on top of that as well.

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  4. I suffer from Major Depressive Disorder. It is a daily struggle. Some days are a lot better than others. While we may not always feel like the support is there, it is in some form or another with the tips and coping mechanisms you mentioned. Talking helps me a lot and also writing as well. I truly believe that it's a journey that is never finished and something you just try to positively cope with as the time passes on. Thank you for an inspirational post!

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  5. Depression is a terrible thing to deal with and most have it and don't realize it. I think that is why it is important that people talk about it openly and others support them through their walk.

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Thanks for the blogging Love