2.26.2014

Wednesdays for Women- Guest Post- Chloe


{To inspire and encourage}

When Chloe sent me this, I read and read and cried my eyes out, it is beautiful all over, read this it will bless you . 



A Mother's Love

All throughout my pregnancy, I had friends and family telling me about how much I was going to love my baby. I would always smile really big and say, "I know I will." 

But I didn't know just how much.

It wasn't an instantaneous feeling for me as soon as I saw him. When Travis was born, I stared at him and it was the strangest thing, knowing that I had just pushed this little human out of me. He was so tiny.

I honestly can't remember my feelings at the hospital, it was all such an overwhelming blur. But as soon as we brought that little teeny human being home, it definitely got much more real.

I cried every night for the first few days that we were home, scared to sleep while my little baby was sleeping. I didn't want anything to happen to my perfect little angel.

I was angry at first. Angry at myself for getting pregnant and having a baby. Angry at his dad for not understanding why I was crying. Angry at the fact that for the rest of my life, I would have this terrifying feeling of what would I do if something happened to my baby? 

I would never again be able to worry only about myself and I hated it. But there was absolutely nothing that I could do to change it.

No one prepared me for that. That feeling of helplessness, of terror, of wanting to protect my child at all costs and the absolute devastation that would undoubtedly come if anything were to happen to him.

No one told me that anytime I heard about a child being hurt or dying that I would suddenly tear up and imagine just how I would feel if I lost my little boy.

No one told me just how vulnerable I would feel every time I left home without my baby. What if the babysitter does something that I wouldn't do? What if he cries for just a little too long?

No one warned me just how much seeing my little boy smile could make my heart melt, or hearing him cry make it hurt. No one ever says just how much joy I'll get out of every single laugh, squeal, and screech, or how I'll want to cry right along with him anytime he gets hurt.

Even if they did, I wouldn't have understood it. The love you have for your child is something you must experience to fully understand. Something that would never make sense to someone without a child.

These are only feelings that a mother can understand. The way it feels to get that big huge smile in the morning when you go to pick your baby up out of his crib. Or the way it feels when you pick him up and he wraps his arms around your neck. The way he screams and gives you a big hug when he's so excited that he's learning to walk. 

Life changes the instant you bring that baby into your home. You lose sleep, you miss out on activities and social events, and sometimes you don't shower for days. You want to keep your baby in your arms as much as possible and your baby is all you ever want to talk about anymore. You lose time and even things in common with your friends. But all of it is so worth it.

It's worth it to watch that baby grow and achieve new milestones every day of their life. The second they learn to roll onto their back and then back onto their belly, whenever they learn how to crawl or walk, or even babble something that might slightly resemble a real word, it's all cause for a huge "I'm so proud of you, you're growing so fast, look at my big boy!"

It's worth losing sleep, showers, and sometimes friends, because helping your little person grow is the most amazing gift in the world.

I had someone ask me the other day what my goals in life were. Ask me that a couple of years ago? It would have been something along the lines of moving to a big city and having a fabulous job.

But now? I just want to give my child the best life he can have, love him and understand him, and teach him to grow up to be the best person he possibly can.

Not only has becoming a mother given me a new perspective on my own life, it has given me a newfound respect for my own parents, and in seeing how much they love my little boy, it has helped me to also realize just how much they've loved me.


5 comments

  1. It is amazing to me how your perspective of your own parents changes once you become a parent.

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  2. That's real motherhood!! what a wonderful insightful and honest post-thanks for sharing

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  3. What a nice thing to read in the morning. Thanks so much for sharing.

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  4. I am with you, we take our kids with us everywhere and do not do babysitters. It goes by so fast, there will be plenty of time to go places without them!

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  5. Great post, I agree becoming a mom made me understand and appreciate my parents even more.

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