How to Keep Friendships When One of You is No Longer Single

How to Keep Friendships When One of You is No Longer Single

The day the first one from girl from your squad ties the knot is an emotional one. The very day seems
like the end of an era, but that’s only because the rest of us are wearing regular dresses and she’s the
one in white sitting by her new hubby. Still, aside from all the sentimentality on the very day, you don’t really think anything much is going to change. Sure, she’s living with a guy now and maybe has a different last name, but hey, she’s still your girl. You’ll still go clubbing, have Sunday brunches, go
shopping and fill your group chat with gossip and emojis. Before you know it reality hits, and her Sunday brunches are replaced with lunches with parents or in-laws, weekend getaways with her husband instead of her girls and those nights at the club are cancelled because the two of them are having drinks with couple friends. She promises that you’ll see more of each other once the whole ‘newlywed phase’sets but somehow you drift away and Instagram becomes the place where you get an update on each other’s lives. To avoid this scenario from coming to life, you need to take actions, and you need to take them before the friend(ship) has sailed.

Have a heart to heart

Sit your friend down and tell her you miss her. Pour your heart out and tell her that you understand that her life has changed, but that doesn’t mean that she’s not part of the squad anymore. Say that you
completely understand that she’s settling into her new life and new role and that it’s completely
understandable that she might feel the urge to ditch everything and spend the entire weekend
home bound with her hubby, but that you’ll be there when she’s ready to rejoin the world. Express your understanding of the fact that her husband is her person now, her wing man, and show her that she isn’t viewed differently just because she’s married. Don’t be critical of her, and assure her that you understand that impromptu outings may be off the table, but so what – you’ll both just have to organize your time and make an effort to stay in each other’s lives.

Include the husband

One of the best ways to remain close to a married friend is to befriend the husband. He doesn’t have to absolutely adore you, only like you enough for you and the rest of the girls to be invited to dinner with them and for him to accept invitations from you. This can actually be very beneficial for everyone; your girl will realize that mixing the two worlds can be fantastic, and the husband can actually become your insight to the world of men’s brains. Husbands don’t have to be the obstacle, just make him a part of your gang.

Walk the extra mile

There is nothing better for rekindling a friendship that a quick getaway. Regardless of how deliriously
happy your friend is, she still needs her girl time, believe it. As she might be a tad busier than you, make a compromise and tell her that you want to organize a little weekend trip but consult her about the timing and then find a date that works best for both of you. Spending time with just one person for a long period of time can become monotonous, so she’ll be thrilled to get away. Besides, she’ll have a bunch of stories to tell him upon her return.

A little patience goes a long way

The most important lesson to remember is patience – don’t give up after a couple of rejections, give
your girl some time to adjust. And one more thing - your single friend is probably still searching online for dating advice for women and you should be there to support her, not at all judge her. Be there even when she’s not and don’t ask yourself the question: “Why am I the one who always calls first?” She’s going through a lot, the honeymoon phase included. However, when the dust settles and she realizes that she doesn’t have to search for a soul mate or obsess about wedding dresses and cakes, she’ll actually come to learn that she has more time for friends than before, and if you were there through her turbulent time, she’ll just come back to you like nothing ever changed.

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